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SuicideFuel 3rd escort visit - Numbness and inferiority complex

Saigon Depression

Saigon Depression

insane
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Just got back from an escort.
She was nice, always smiling, she kissed me without complaining, did most of the things I was asking for.
And I still feel like shit.

I already made a thread about my first ever visit in October
Back then, I was surprised how empty most of the sexual acts felt.
They felt good physically, but not as awesome as I always expected them to be.

These things happen again and again with each visit.
Blowjobs feel okay, but I can hardly cum. It took me 45 minutes to cum just once.
I can hardly penetrate her in any position, because I cannot even find the right angle or something like this.
When I finally can, my dick goes soft, or if it doesn't, I don't enjoy the actual fucking. Neither physically, nor emotionally. Neither does she of course, but at least she's pretending.
The whole thing just feels so unnatural.
The only thing that I can say I enjoy is kissing and boob sucking.

That's ridiculous.
I cannot even fuck properly.
And when I think about how 15 year old chads, chadlites or normies fuck females without experiencing any of these hardships, I feel extremely inferior and worthless.

I always believed (and heard from others) that fucking an escort would be very advantegous, because it relieves you of the emotional stress of virginity, and it gives you the confidence to talk to women and all that shit. It didn't help in that regard either. In terms of communication and social skills, I'm just as bad as I used to be.

I'm not regretting that I started escortcelling, but the truth is that I was somewhat happier when I was still a complete virgin and could fantasize about fucking without realizing that in reality, I cannot properly fuck a female.
Because fucking takes skills (physical and mental), and I don't even have those skills.
I will probably be tempted to escortcel soon again, but I already know that my next experience will be far from successful again.

I know that this thread is a little bit incoherent, but this is how I could gather my thoughts.
 
Do you suffer from PIED as well?
 
You can fuck all the escorts you want too, you'll still be subhuman and feel pathetic and inferior as a result. I got that right, yeah? No substitute for being legitimately human and psychosocially developing as intended by nature right, escortcels are extreme copers.
 
Brutal. Just a waste of money and time
 
You can fuck all the escorts you want too, you'll still be subhuman and feel pathetic and inferior as a result. I got that right, yeah? No substitute for being legitimately human and psychosocially developing as intended by nature right, escortcels are extreme copers.
True, I'm also beginning to realize that. Yet the lust for physical intimacy overcomes us.
 
That could be a good explanation, but my first ever experience was after a nearly two-month nofap period.
It takes more than two months. People say a reboot takes three months in the very least and even moreso during an extreme version of PIED.
 
True, I'm also beginning to realize that. Yet the lust for physical intimacy overcomes us.
What would you rate yourself */10? Probably mogs me, escorts were never an option for me tbh. But yeah, it's only logical. No paid sex for your genes or self image tbh.
 
What would you rate yourself */10? Probably mogs me, escorts were never an option for me tbh. But yeah, it's only logical. No paid sex for your genes or self image tbh.
3/10, the escort was 5/10, maybe 6/10.
 
I can’t get erect
 
I know the numbness part. It's definitely the way I've been masturbating. I literally dry hump the mattress to orgasm, there's no vagina in the world that can simulate that feeling, no matter how tight.

I also cannot get off from just fucking. GFE is the only way I feel satisfied. The girl has to pretend that she's interested in me or I'll lose the erection. Also kissing is a huge turn on.

I'm thinking the only way for me to enjoy an escort's company is be drunk as well. You just have to let go when you're fucking one, but when you've learned by experience that women aren't attracted to you, I think it creates a cognitive dissonance in your head and prevents you from cumming.

I'm gonna see an escort again maybe in two weeks. I'll find one that does GFE, train myself to cum with light strokes and a condom, and bring alcohol for the time.
 
Validation from a woman WANTING to fuck you is like 80% of the value of sex. At least to narcies like me and you OP.
 
3/10, the escort was 5/10, maybe 6/10.
Lifemogs me, but even if I had a billion dollars I wouldn't hire an "escort" tbh, I know I lost at the game of life, that's all the info I need tbh. I cope in other ways, fuck foids in a metaphorical sense.
 
Paid sex is just another cope.

Without genuine love its all meaningless.
 
Just need to pay more money. Sluts will slut, even truecels
 
I have PIED. And so does OP, since he says the longest he's gone on nofap was nearly two months.
I think 2 months is more than enough. Nobody should have to go through 2+ months of nofap to get an erection. Back in the days I could fap all day and still be horny the next.
 
I think 2 months is more than enough. Nobody should have to go through 2+ months of nofap to get an erection. Back in the days I could fap all day and still be horny the next.
No, it's not. Three months is the main challenge people do, but for people with a more extreme version of PIED, it should last for a year. Many guys even say that a year wasn't enough and they're still healing.
 
It could be that you're just uncomfortable around people. Tbh I'm fairly certain that if I were to escortcel that I'd have lots of problems, still it would be nice to try it once just to feel what sex is like.
 
That's one thing about prostitution : it is very inefficient. Most of the times you will get a barely enjoyable experience.

Everytime you will go with the hopes that it will be as good as it was that one time when it was really good.

That being said, I suppose it also depends a lot on you I'm sure. Whether you're high T or low T, your health, your psychological profile and shit.

I can just speak from my experience. I've lost count of the number of hookers I went with, but only a few of them have given me a memorable time, and only two were truly wonderful.

I still need this though, because that's all I can get.
 
No, it's not. Three months is the main challenge people do, but for people with a more extreme version of PIED, it should last for a year. Many guys even say that a year wasn't enough and they're still healing.
Its not true "healing" if they are horny just because of practicing nofap for long periods. Anyone would be horny after months of nofap. I would consider it healed only if consistent horniness could be maintained despite consistent cooming day after day.
 
It could be that you're just uncomfortable around people. Tbh I'm fairly certain that if I were to escortcel that I'd have lots of problems, still it would be nice to try it once just to feel what sex is like.

I've been saying this for quite some time. Escortcelling is mainly for NT guys imo
There isn't a switch you can turn on or off that makes you act more NT just because you are interacting with a whore with the purpose of getting sex.
It is portrayed that way for a lot of anxious normies but for non-NT guys it isn't possible without coming off as weird tbh
 
You can fuck all the escorts you want too, you'll still be subhuman and feel pathetic and inferior as a result. I got that right, yeah? No substitute for being legitimately human and psychosocially developing as intended by nature right, escortcels are extreme copers.
Lifemogs me, but even if I had a billion dollars I wouldn't hire an "escort" tbh, I know I lost at the game of life, that's all the info I need tbh. I cope in other ways, fuck foids in a metaphorical sense.

everything this guy says is high iq tf. But yea you had the sex, but it doesnt compensate for actual love and having a connection with someone. This is why i dont escort, im not really looking for the fucking but for a relationship which of course brings sex. But paid sex will never feel the same as unpaid sex im pretty sure
 
Neither can I. Saw a great pair of tits today, didn't even get hard.
If I see a hot girl I will not get hard

But seeing porn or escort catalogs I start getting hard instantly, even with my cucked T levels.
 
I've been saying this for quite some time. Escortcelling is mainly for NT guys imo
There isn't a switch you can turn on or off that makes you act more NT just because you are interacting with a whore with the purpose of getting sex.
It is portrayed that way for a lot of anxious normies but for non-NT guys it isn't possible without coming off as weird tbh
It's weird because my desires make no sense. I feel like I really need to have sex, yet I'm uncomfortable with being touched. If we take away the biological need for release, I my inceldom is a problem for me because I feel inadequate and alienated. I don't even enjoy irl interactions, they're just a chore imo, and I don't really like most people.

I'm also extremely high inhib so it would be very difficult for me to escortcel even if I could.
 
bro your avi wtf
 
OP, I believe you became frustrated because your expectations were too high.

Escorts are offering their bodies for you to fuck and play with. They are not offering a mind-blowing experience or "real sex" in any way.

Keep reminding yourself that they are allowing you to masturbate on their bodies, this has nothing to do with actual human connection. Imagine a sexdoll that you can play with for an hour and leave. THAT is what you are getting, not "sex".

Expectations can REALLY change how we perceive an experience.

Scratch the surface of most cynics unrealistic expectations

 
They felt good physically, but not as awesome as I always expected them to be.

That's because like all incels you were over hyping the experience in your head for years as something special, its not this "magical thing", it feels like that through hentai and porn lol, but when you are in the act it feels so "real" doesn't it, when you are there in the moment it feels weird, I know what you are talking about, but that's because were not used to it, its going to take time, you have to remember were all pretty much damaged goods scarred by society, we can't expect to just go into a room with a woman and feel natural fucking her

Blowjobs feel okay, but I can hardly cum. It took me 45 minutes to cum just once

When was the last time you jerked off to porn?

I'm not regretting that I started escortcelling, but the truth is that I was somewhat happier when I was still a complete virgin and could fantasize about fucking without realizing that in reality, I cannot properly fuck a female.
Because fucking takes skills (physical and mental), and I don't even have those skills.
I will probably be tempted to escortcel soon again, but I already know that my next experience will be far from successful again.

JFL, then isn't paying for sex the perfect oppurtunity to learn how to fuck?, this was a realization I came to also with my first escort, it looks easy in porn, but its a lot harder in practice
 
Its not true "healing" if they are horny just because of practicing nofap for long periods. Anyone would be horny after months of nofap. I would consider it healed only if consistent horniness could be maintained despite consistent cooming day after day.
I only consider it healing if you can get boners irl. I have never been able to go for three months, so I will never get to heal myself. Feelsbadman.jpg
OP, I believe you became frustrated because your expectations were too high.

Escorts are offering their bodies for you to fuck and play with. They are not offering a mind-blowing experience or "real sex" in any way.

Keep reminding yourself that they are allowing you to masturbate on their bodies, this has nothing to do with actual human connection. Imagine a sexdoll that you can play with for an hour and leave. THAT is what you are getting, not "sex".

Expectations can REALLY change how we perceive an experience.

View attachment 306516
Nigga, what the fuck did I just read?
 
When was the last time you jerked off to porn?
The day before.
That's because like all incels you were over hyping the experience in your head for years as something special, its not this "magical thing", it feels like that through hentai and porn lol, but when you are in the act it feels so "real" doesn't it, when you are there in the moment it feels weird, I know what you are talking about, but that's because were not used to it, its going to take time, you have to remember were all pretty much damaged goods scarred by society, we can't expect to just go into a room with a woman and feel natural fucking her


JFL, then isn't paying for sex the perfect oppurtunity to learn how to fuck?, this was a realization I came to also with my first escort, it looks easy in porn, but its a lot harder in practice
I definitely need to disassociate the time I spend with escorts from the idealized fantasies in my head.
 
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The day before.

Yeah well that's the problem, in the same way that we develop muscle memory, years of jerking off has made us more attuned to feeling sexual pleasure when its us touching ourselves using our hands

I noticed when I fucked my first whore (well only whore so far) I could maintain an erection better when I touched my own dick with my dominant hand, than when I penetrated her or even when she jerked me off, from watching porn that confused me because I'd always think a woman jerking me off would feel better than it would if I did and I would instantly be aroused

That's not how it works with your brain, your brain associates stimuli with actions, and we've pretty much trained ourselves as porn watchers to primarily be aroused and reach orgasm via self stimulation

Before you go to your next whore, you're going to need a "hard reset"

I plan on doing the same before I escortcel again, it is the only legit reason to do "nofap" (sex as a goal)

Once you go a month or two without masturbation, the next time you visit a whore, you will cum quickly, make sure and pay for an hour (or how long you will need to recover (you should know your own refractory period) to fuck her again), then fuck her again, you will likely not only maintain your erection and be hard, but you'll be able to fuck for at least 15 mins and the experience will be way better

Hoping I can hurry and wealthmax to begin this process
 
Once you go a month or two without masturbation, the next time you visit a whore, you will cum quickly,
But my first time was preceded by going without masturbation for two months. I thought I would cum by her simply touching my cock. I already had problem back then.

I will start another NoFap.
 
But my first time was preceded by going without masturbation for two months. I thought I would cum by her simply touching my cock. I already had problem back then.

I will start another NoFap.

You will have to go longer then

Also look up this supplementation Eggman talked about for fixing ED, take a Macca supplement (helps with ED) and Zinc Supplement (I'd say take this shit in your last month of your nofap and prepare for a lot of cold showers, Zinc increases the amount of sperm you produce and it affects your libido)
 
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I only consider it healing if you can get boners irl. I have never been able to go for three months, so I will never get to heal myself. Feelsbadman.jpg

Nigga, what the fuck did I just read?
OP is frustrated because he expected to feel like a Chad who just finished taking Stacy's virginity at the age of 13. His expectations were too high.

Hooker sex is just glorified masturbation.
 
Yeah the issue is when you're so used to masturbating with porn + death grip sex can feel boring.

Always good to abstain and quit death grip before visits
 
You can fuck all the escorts you want too, you'll still be subhuman and feel pathetic and inferior as a result. I got that right, yeah? No substitute for being legitimately human and psychosocially developing as intended by nature right, escortcels are extreme copers.
True, you can pay them all you want, but no women will ever love you.
DIfference between incels and betabuxxxers is that betas delude themselves into thinking the women loves them, until they get raped in courts, or finds out the kind isn't his.
 
OP, just fast forward for a moment and imagine you are 50 years old.
You have "fucked" hundreds of whores and spend a little fortune while doing it.
You will feel even worse, because every single time you visited the bitch you hoped that this time it would the marvelous sex you've always wanted.
But it only was average, sometimes just plain bad.
Every time you return to your room you are still lonely and incel as fuck.

but besides feeling like shit, you also lost a considerable amount of money.
Imagine all the copes you could buy with that money?
Or even traveling to SEA? Or maybe even plastic surgery?

But no, the only person who actually got better of this ordeal is the whore. She now rides a fancy car and lives in a penthouse.
And she got it thanks to you and probably hundreds of other delusional males.
Been there done that, and I've come to the conclusion that it was a pretty bad deal for me.
 
Lifemogs me, but even if I had a billion dollars I wouldn't hire an "escort" tbh, I know I lost at the game of life, that's all the info I need tbh. I cope in other ways, fuck foids in a metaphorical sense.
 
OP you should get somebody to randomly pay a escort to pretend to fall in love with you.
 
OP you should get somebody to randomly pay a escort to pretend to fall in love with you.

Waste of money really, it will cost a fuck ton and he'd never get his moneys worth, he'd also one day likely figure it out, and if you are paranoid like me, you'd immediately think its staged

Its much more logical (and cheaper) to adapt to the world rather than to try and adapt the world around you, there's a lot more moving pieces to manage in the latter
 
Waste of money really, it will cost a fuck ton and he'd never get his moneys worth, he'd also one day likely figure it out, and if you are paranoid like me, you'd immediately think its staged

Its much more logical (and cheaper) to adapt to the world rather than to try and adapt the world around you, there's a lot more moving pieces to manage in the latter
Well, I would hope that he would realize that love and emotional validation can be bought just like physical sex. And yes, while its expensive, I'd consider it more of a life lesson than a pure fucking experience. OP sounds like he would be a sucker for a golddigger.
 
No, it's not. Three months is the main challenge people do, but for people with a more extreme version of PIED, it should last for a year. Many guys even say that a year wasn't enough and they're still healing.
Thosw guys are coping hard by the sound of it
 
You can fuck all the escorts you want too, you'll still be subhuman and feel pathetic and inferior as a result. I got that right, yeah? No substitute for being legitimately human and psychosocially developing as intended by nature right, escortcels are extreme copers.

Cope, you guys speak like this is biological but its socialized, if it was biological men wouldn't be so prone to rape, the men of the past would never have claimed wives from raiding parties or conquering other lands, they would be physically incapable of enjoying sex like OP is, but that's 100% false, a lot of marriages in the past were arranged marriages too and its mostly only the women that would have hated their pairings as men have realistic standards, so how did those men "cope" with the lack of "mutual affection"?, it must have been horrible for those men, THEY HAD IT WORSE THAN US (how hard it must have been to force yourself to fuck a woman that doesn't think you're hot, my goodness the thought is unbearable) JFL

Men today are just raised with a cucked mindset, with cultural values tailored specifically TO NEUTER MEN AS THREATS AND MAKE THEM FEEL BAD ABOUT THEIR NATURAL URGES

Its just that guys like you CHOOSE TO REMAIN MENTALLY CUCKED AND USE RHETORIC THAT ITS "MUH BIOLOGY" TO JUSTIFY IT TO YOURSELF

Your ancestors didn't give one fuck about "mutual attraction" or "affection", if nature intended something as you claim, were the men of the past just SUFFERING and forcing themselves to "resist their nature" to seek out "love"

Were they PSYCHOLOGICALLY TORMENTING THEMSELVES everytime they penetrated a woman that resisted or showed signs of disgust or discomfort?

"Gooooooolllllly, maaaaan its hard to rape all these women and force them to be my wives, ITS JUST KILLING ME ON THE INSIDE to fuck these beautiful women WITHOUT THEM WANTING ME TOO :cryfeels:"
:feelskek: :feelskek: :feelskek: :feelskek: :feelskek: :feelskek: :feelskek: :feelskek: :feelskek: :feelskek:

You guys sound like retards everytime you make the argument that men's obsession love and affection today is biological, it clearly isn't, its like you are pretending HISTORY DOES NOT EXIST

 
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