A story of autism and World of Warcraft.It's just a damn game,probably nobody in the world has such weird dilemmas and relationship with a game as me.

anon1822

anon1822

Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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Warning: Long story so if I'm going to bore you I'm going to start from the beginning.

So I played WoW for many thousands of hours for years. But for many, many years it was on private servers. Not even raiding, not even very competitive pvp. Idk what I did, I played battlegrounds, I leveled up, I dueled. Custom servers, lvl 255 servers. Idk what I did for so much time, but I wasted a lot of time on the game.

During MoP I also saved up lunch money and bought WoW. It was expensive, I'm in a poor country where average salaries are under $300, so it was quite an investment. But I was frugal and my parents gave me some lunch money at times, and I ate very well at home anyway (I was chubby anyway). Lmao, ended up playing for a total for like 1 or 2 hours. Wasted so much fucking money, Jesus. After that I kinda quit, came back to private servers for a short while every now and then.

So during the last patch of Legion, I get the strong cravings to play WoW again. But this time I really wanted retail. So I bought the game again, this time in the EU region, last time I bought US for some fucking reason. And the prices are ever so slightly lower for my country, wow, that's a first. Even steam has expensive prices. So I asked my dad and as a gift he gave me money Legion. And 2 months of play time. And I thought "well, as long as I'm asking for this gargantuan sum of money for a game, might as well buy BfA", and so I bought Legion + BfA.

So I start playing Legion. New account, I start from scratch. I waste my time leveling up like 10 characters in those 2 months. Like 6 or 7 of them to 110, grinded the shit out of the game. No wait, 2 months was for time dad paid. I think I played for 3 or 4 months idk. Here's what I did in that time, a complete waste of time: I leveled characters that I didn't really play after reaching max level (and now in Shadowlands it's all obsolete, leveling has been made so much easier. Total waste of hundreds of hours that I did NOT enjoy, it was so tedious, why the fuck did I do it?). Other than that I didn't do much, my main activity was grinding gold for WoW tokens to get blizzard balance to turn into game time in the future. I grinded for hundreds of hours, many hundreds. Day in, day out. Skinning was my method, literal grinding like a bot. I made very little gold per hour and WoW tokens are very expensive on EU since russians grind a lot and makes gold worth less, so it was like 20 or 30 hours for 1 fucking token, all of hardcore grinding. Prices were shit on the server too.

Short detour of the story: So I grind the shit out of the game and get quite a lot of tokens. Maybe 10 tokens in total, I don't remember. I turn them into Blizzard balance. And as always, I'm so shit with money, I always buy things I regret. I bought Destiny 2. Fucking hated that game, omg it was so empty and fucking pointless, but I stuck with it a bit cause of the money I paid. Of course now all the content that I paid for got made f2p lmao, so not only did I hate the game back then, but now everybody can access it for free. So I wasted like 3 or 4 tokens to buy that (tokens are worth less for my region, each token is like 550 rubles, and it cost like 2000 or 3000 rubles to buy the game). That's like 100 hours of grinding for a game I fucking hated. And another thing I spent money on was Diablo 3, all xpacs + Necromancer. Fucking hated that game too, barely played it. God damn I almost never spend money I'm so fucking frugal, but when I do spend money I always fucking regret it. Ohh right btw, at a certain point, don't remember when, I bought Overwatch but with real fucking money. Bought it at full price, at then a week or so later they had a fucking sale. Jesus Christ ffs I'm so stupid. Keep in mind I'm in a poor country too, lmao I'm retarded.

Anyway, so far so good. Not that weird. Now to the weird part.

So as you have seen, I don't know what the fuck I did in the game for so many thousands of hours. I leveled characters, which is not really the game, it's just a time waster till you get to the end-game the real game. I fucking hated leveling and yet it's most of what I did when I didn't waste my life grinding gold to pay for the sub.

WoW is a game for raiding and dungeons. I fucking hate raids, I think they're pointless. They're essentially pressing your buttons to do your rotation while avoiding the boss' mechanics, which to me is boring as fuck. And you also need to do it with a bunch of people, and I hate people. And you might even need a guild, I don't like guilds. So why the fuck did I play the game for so long if I hate the only parts that it's made for? I'm not even good at pvp so I didn't really do much of it.

So, finally to the weird part. As you see, I don't even know what I did in the game. It's essentially a bunch of filler to get you to the Raids and m+ which are the only good thing, and I fucking hated Raids so the entire game was pointless to me. I don't know why I played, I don't know what I did when I played. And yet I keep having the strong craving to play again, every few months it haunts me.

Ohh right I forgot to add, I quit before BfA, the game was fucking garbage for me, I hated it. But I couldn't refund BfA cause I fucking made allied class characters and once you did you couldn't refund. So I fucking game back for BfA. Bought a month of play time. Played 3 fucking days and then I couldn't log back in, it was too fucking shit, the game sucked for me. Just as garbage as Legion but somehow worse. It just felt pointless, I didn't like raids so it dawned on me that this game is totally fucking pointless for me. I tried so hard to convince myself to play, but I couldn't, it was pointless. 3 days out of 30, every day not played was hurting me psychologically, felt like I wasted so much money (or so much of my time spent grinding for that token to pay for the time), and I'm not even playing. So yeah, I played 3 days of fucking BfA, and yet not only did I waste money for that 1 month, but I prepaid for the expansion REAL FUCKING MONEY, while living in a poor country so that money was a fucking lot of money.

Anyway, I still get cravings though. What the fuck? The game is pointless for me since I don't like raids, I don't really see the point of anything in the game, and yet I get fucking strong cravings? So I came back once more. It was like 1 month after Classic released, but I didn't want to play classic, I played enough private servers, I came back for retail. But before I did that, for like 1 month if not more I though about it. I fucking contemplated whether it's worth coming back, cause I knew I'd feel it's pointless the moment I paid for 1 month. Seriously, hours every day thinking about it, for weeks. Watching youtube videos, reading the subreddit, forums. Pros and cons, thinking about what I like about the game etc... I fucking made like 5 or so fucking trial characters. Leveled them to 20, even deleted some, and then tried again. I wanted to see if I still liked the game or something. Anyway, eventually I pulled the trigger. Bought a month of game time. BAAAAAAM. 20 fucking minutes later, or maybe 1 hour idk, I get buyer's remorse. I'm fucking panicking for real, I realize I fucking hate the game, I find it pointless and it was a waste of money. Luckily I made a ticket to Blizzard with a bullshit excuse and I managed to get a refund of the Bnet balance. Phew.

So I get cravings and I still want to play the game very strongly every now and then. But I try to dissuade myself, I scour the internet for negative comments and threads and videos about WoW, to convince myself not to play. I even trolled the MMOchampion forums for like a month. It was hard cause they ban people and lock threads so easily, they really simp for Blizzard and WoW a lot. Eventually got banned, but I was really obsessed with it for some reason. I guess shitting on WoW made me feel better and not want to play it for a whille.

And finally the story is kinda ending. Maybe I forgot a few things. I get cravings every now and then. I'm getting really strong cravings now, especially since Shadowlands prepatch means everybody gets Bfa for free, meaning I really did waste soooo much fucking money and I played BfA for a grand total of 3 days. Still fucking pissed at this company. I'll probably end up playing eventually, but I really don't feel like wasting the money so I'll see, maybe I'll manage to put it off till the xpac is on sale or something. I still don't understand why I want to play that fucking game. I hate Raids, I hate m+, I hate guilds and I have no friends, what the fuck is keeping me to that game, makes no fucking sense. This story wouldn't be this fucking weird if I at least enjoyed those things, but I don't so what the hell am I doing?

Well, the end. Probably even forgot some things cause my memory is shit.
 
Words2_live_bye

Words2_live_bye

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Brutal noreplypill
 
OakLog

OakLog

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never played wow
 
AlexanderTheGreat11

AlexanderTheGreat11

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micropenis29

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You must have enjoyed it. Otherwise you wouldn't have played it.

It you don't enjoy it now, then you won't play anymore.

Regardless, the time you spent playing is a sunk cost. It shouldn't negatively affect your future decisions.
 
anon1822

anon1822

Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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You must have enjoyed it. Otherwise you wouldn't have played it.

It you don't enjoy it now, then you won't play anymore.

Regardless, the time you spent playing is a sunk cost. It shouldn't negatively affect your future decisions.
Unfortunately, for some reason, you can do things for thousands of hours without really enjoying them. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've spent my entire life since I was a kid 16 hours a day laying in bed with my laptop (minus school and shit). I guess eventually everything feels samey, your mind becomes somewhat numb, and so you do something just to waste time. Too bad I didn't really enjoy anything in life, I did somewhat have a vague longing of doing something else, but nothing was really interesting to me, so I just rotted at home my entire life.
 
micropenis29

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Unfortunately, for some reason, you can do things for thousands of hours without really enjoying them. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've spent my entire life since I was a kid 16 hours a day laying in bed with my laptop (minus school and shit). I guess eventually everything feels samey, your mind becomes somewhat numb, and so you do something just to waste time. Too bad I didn't really enjoy anything in life, I did somewhat have a vague longing of doing something else, but nothing was really interesting to me, so I just rotted at home my entire life.
It sounds like you had high expectations of yourself or high standards of happiness and you didn't meet them.

But how can you be sure you weren't doing what was in your best interest?
 
HappilySingle

HappilySingle

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WoW is still better then the real world on nightmare mode.
 
The Cagot

The Cagot

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The time you lost having fun, wasn't lost.
 
SirIncel

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I'm still actively playing WoW. I have been playing for 10 years, every class on max level and about 30k achievment points.