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Serious After puberty life became torture

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Lebensmüder

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Growing older with dignity is an oxymoron, nothing is better than childhood and seeing everything as a wonder, the older you become the less magic the world appears and as soon as the magic dies due to being replaced with knowledge the fascination dies with it - the worst myth is that knowledge is something inherently good, ignorance is a blessing, the myth makes life worth living.

I would give anything to feel like a child again, as a child everything fascinated me, I could go through the woods and was fascinated by every little bug/plant, I could go through the mountains looking for some rare stones and fossils like ammonites, I had TV series/movies/games which I enjoyed, I enjoyed every museum in my proximity from space craft to submarines, everything was so vivid. I loved the visits to the botanical garden which had a butterfly/cactus collection at that time, I loved the gardening shop in my vicinity due to its phasmids and I loved the poisonous garden with the digitalis/wolfsbane. Every place felt like heaven. I remember as I nearly died of awe as I saw an olm (=cave salamander) for the first (and last) time in my life - my luckiest childhood memory which I will keep with me for my entire life.

Don't get me wrong: I was still bullied (in kindergarden/elementary school), but I ignored it, it didn't matter, as long as I had copes and illusions. I was also able to communicate with others due to Yu-Gi-Oh and due to good stuff on the TV like prank shows, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon and Star Wars. This was the luckiest time in my life (especially due to Mario Kart and Donkey Kong games). I had actual dreams for the future by wanting to become a herpetologist/ichthyologist. I read so many books and was fascinated by every single one. I had cheap headphones and listened to Star Wars/Mario Music when I was bored/couldn't go out. I was always occupied with finding new stuff. I loved the Internet and what I found there with sites/special wikis for predatory fish keepers and everything else, every minute I spent on them which I didn't spend in school/in the woods. Bionicles and everything else from LEGO was so good back then. Even injuries (like lacerations/eye injuries) were funny in retrospect.

Every day life became less tolerable, the fun gradually died. Nothing is more holy than childhood memories, I would do anything again to feel that curiosity/joy in life again. Most of the places I enjoyed are long gone, the websites are shut down, my icons are dead or have left due to other reasons, where once my favorite aquarium shop stood is now a hall for gamblers, the city I was raised in is unrecongizable, the fascination was replaced by passivity and boredom, dreams were shattered and proved to be impossible/illusoric, everything sucks. Puberty was redundant, afterwards I didn't have any meaningful discourse in my entire life. I would give everything just to get back to these good days from <2012.

I never had my first kiss, I never held hands with a girl, my only lucky memories are those with some animals/video games, I missed all developmental milestones despite doing everything right academically/professionally, the only fun memory I have as an adult is watching a movie with a friend from elementary school a few years ago.
 
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Childhood mogs me.
 

After puberty life of chad became awesome​

 
Growing older with dignity is an oxymoron, nothing is better than childhood and seeing everything as a wonder, the older you become the less magic the world appears and as soon as the magic dies due to being replaced with knowledge the fascination dies with it - the worst myth is that knowledge is something inherently good, ignorance is a blessing, the myth makes life worth living.

I would give anything to feel like a child again, as a child everything fascinated me, I could go through the woods and was fascinated by every little bug/plant, I could go through the mountains looking for some rare stones and fossils like ammonites, I had TV series/movies/games which I enjoyed, I enjoyed every museum in my proximity from space craft to submarines, everything was so vivid. I loved the visits to the botanical garden which had a butterfly/cactus collection at that time, I loved the gardening shop in my vicinity due to its phasmids and I loved the poisonous garden with the digitalis/wolfsbane. Every place felt like heaven. I remember as I nearly died of awe as I saw an olm (=cave salamander) for the first (and last) time in my life - my luckiest childhood memory which I will keep with me for my entire life.

Don't get me wrong: I was still bullied (in kindergarden/elementary school), but I ignored it, it didn't matter, as long as I had copes and illusions. I was also able to communicate with others due to Yu-Gi-Oh and due to good stuff on the TV like prank shows, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon and Star Wars. This was the luckiest time in my life (especially due to Mario Kart and Donkey Kong games). I had actual dreams for the future by wanting to become a herpetologist/ichthyologist. I read so many books and was fascinated by every single one. I had cheap headphones and listened to Star Wars/Mario Music when I was bored/couldn't go out. I was always occupied with finding new stuff. I loved the Internet and what I found there with sites/special wikis for predatory fish keepers and everything else, every minute I spent on them which I didn't spend in school/in the woods. Bionicles and everything else from LEGO was so good back then. Even injuries (like lacerations/eye injuries) were funny in retrospect.

Every day life became less tolerable, the fun gradually died. Nothing is more holy than childhood memories, I would do anything again to feel that curiosity/joy in life again. Most of the places I enjoyed are long gone, the websites are shut down, my icons are dead or have left due to other reasons, where once my favorite aquarium shop stood is now a hall for gamblers, the city I was raised in is unrecongizable, the fascination was replaced by passivity and boredom, dreams were shattered and proved to be impossible/illusoric, everything sucks. Puberty was redundant, afterwards I didn't have any meaningful discourse in my entire life. I would give everything just to get back to these good days from <2012.

I never had my first kiss, I never held hands with a girl, my only lucky memories are those with some animals/video games, I missed all developmental milestones despite doing everything right academically/professionally, the only fun memory I have as an adult is watching a movie with a friend from elementary school a few years ago.

Its like reading my own life story. Existence is hell.
 
Yep. Your brain is programed to make you suffer for not fulfilling your duty.
 
Its like reading my own life story. Existence is hell.
Brutal.
Everything went down hill for me once i turned 12. I wish someone would’ve just caved my head in right before i turned 12
Same tbh. It's not like bullying didn't exist before puberty, but at least you had copes, so that the situation was tolerable.
Yep. Your brain is programed to make you suffer for not fulfilling your duty.
 
Growing older with dignity is an oxymoron, nothing is better than childhood and seeing everything as a wonder, the older you become the less magic the world appears and as soon as the magic dies due to being replaced with knowledge the fascination dies with it - the worst myth is that knowledge is something inherently good, ignorance is a blessing, the myth makes life worth living.

I would give anything to feel like a child again, as a child everything fascinated me, I could go through the woods and was fascinated by every little bug/plant, I could go through the mountains looking for some rare stones and fossils like ammonites, I had TV series/movies/games which I enjoyed, I enjoyed every museum in my proximity from space craft to submarines, everything was so vivid. I loved the visits to the botanical garden which had a butterfly/cactus collection at that time, I loved the gardening shop in my vicinity due to its phasmids and I loved the poisonous garden with the digitalis/wolfsbane. Every place felt like heaven. I remember as I nearly died of awe as I saw an olm (=cave salamander) for the first (and last) time in my life - my luckiest childhood memory which I will keep with me for my entire life.

Don't get me wrong: I was still bullied (in kindergarden/elementary school), but I ignored it, it didn't matter, as long as I had copes and illusions. I was also able to communicate with others due to Yu-Gi-Oh and due to good stuff on the TV like prank shows, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon and Star Wars. This was the luckiest time in my life (especially due to Mario Kart and Donkey Kong games). I had actual dreams for the future by wanting to become a herpetologist/ichthyologist. I read so many books and was fascinated by every single one. I had cheap headphones and listened to Star Wars/Mario Music when I was bored/couldn't go out. I was always occupied with finding new stuff. I loved the Internet and what I found there with sites/special wikis for predatory fish keepers and everything else, every minute I spent on them which I didn't spend in school/in the woods. Bionicles and everything else from LEGO was so good back then. Even injuries (like lacerations/eye injuries) were funny in retrospect.

Every day life became less tolerable, the fun gradually died. Nothing is more holy than childhood memories, I would do anything again to feel that curiosity/joy in life again. Most of the places I enjoyed are long gone, the websites are shut down, my icons are dead or have left due to other reasons, where once my favorite aquarium shop stood is now a hall for gamblers, the city I was raised in is unrecongizable, the fascination was replaced by passivity and boredom, dreams were shattered and proved to be impossible/illusoric, everything sucks. Puberty was redundant, afterwards I didn't have any meaningful discourse in my entire life. I would give everything just to get back to these good days from <2012.

I never had my first kiss, I never held hands with a girl, my only lucky memories are those with some animals/video games, I missed all developmental milestones despite doing everything right academically/professionally, the only fun memory I have as an adult is watching a movie with a friend from elementary school a few years ago.
try psychadelics, I was able to temporarily get my child like innocence on mushrooms.
 
Relatable post btw, I was already not good at life things, but it just becomes worse after puberty, and even worse in late puberty, still going down hill, my life is a fucking failure.
 
Relatable post btw, I was already not good at life things, but it just becomes worse after puberty, and even worse in late puberty, still going down hill, my life is a fucking failure.
Brutal. F, man. Same tbh. Was always a daydreamer and phantast to a certain degree, but after puberty it was the only thing that remained.
 
Brutal. F, man. Same tbh. Was always a daydreamer and phantast to a certain degree, but after puberty it was the only thing that remained.
Damn, I was a daydreamer too, maybe it is a autist trait?
 

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