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StormlitAqua

StormlitAqua

Mythic
★★★
Joined
Mar 2, 2018
Posts
4,749
Good evening everyone.

After more than 23 years of a sexless, GF-less life, I have grown extremely weary and bitter. My life feels like it is slipping me by, as my goal was to be married at 25 and have my first child at 26. My time is growing thin and my patience even thinner. I am running out of time and becoming extremely desperate...

Therefore:

...I am offering a $1,000 - $2,000 reward for anyone who is successful able to do one of the following:

- Directly find me a GF. Meaning: This girl will date me or is willing to try... here's her contact info. Upon our agreement to become a couple (I assume after a few dates?), you will be rewarded $2,000 for your troubles. If she does not agree to be my GF, obviously you will not be rewarded.
- Impersonate me on a dating site/app. I'm not sure if I would go through with this as I would have to give you my picture, but I may be able to be convinced. Basically, you do all the work. You prove to me that I'm "not ugly" and that if I'm "funny and charming" that I can get a GF. The reward for impersonation leading to a successful relationship is $1,500.
- Give me specific instructions onto finding one on my own. Not generic normalfag platitudes like IT loves to tell like "just go sit next to a QT in church br0"... I want specific instructions. Spill the secret, so to speak. I will tell you if you're being too generic or cucked. For example, On Tuesday, I want you to go to this place and do this thing specifically... Or... Sign up for this dating website/app and specifically do this... this... that... etc. You are essentially the football coach and I am the clueless players. You make the decisions, not me. If I fail, you get fired (unless you're Hue Jackson :)). For this leading to a relationship, I will reward $1,000.
- ANY helpful information may be rewarded in small amounts. I will be giddy when I get as GF. Money means nothing if I have a woman.

Qualifications. The girl must be:

- Some form of conservative Christian. LCMS is preferred, but I am OK with Catholics, Orthos, and Baptists. Emphasis on accepting the Chalcedonian definition of Christ and the Nicene Creed. Notable exceptions to this caveat include the LDS and Jehovah's Witnesses.
- Virgin.
- White.
- Under 25 BMI (US government definition of not overweight).
- Not more than one year older than me (I am 23 at time of typing).

For all critics of my "standards", please note that all of these "qualifications" are ones I meet myself, therefore not hypocritical. In the end, I make the final decision. If you bring me someone that is not all of the above, I will either accept her (you are paid) still or accept the role of volcel (I deny, you are not paid). I've been called worse.

Very basic information about me (I can remove this section if mods consider any of this bragging):

- 23, 5'10.5" (unfrauded), 175lbs (naked), white. Full head of dark brown hair.
- Ugly eye area (blue eyes though), round face, long (but straight) nose. Chin is acceptable tier... but far from protruded. Ears are uninspired. Temple area is disgusting (alien head). Have beard to cover mediocre skin and round face... minoxidil-maxing RN to make the beard less patchy.
- Bachelor's Degree in engineering and a full-time engineering job.
- Own my own home and new model car.
- Diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.
- Live somewhere in North-east Ohio, USA.

I can provide all verification (paystub, bank info) necessary to prove I have the money and that I make enough. I have sent money to users here before, namely @ordinaryotaku , @MogekoLord , @SergeantIncel , and Dylan from the Discord (IDK his .me username), who will all hopefully vouch for my authenticity, albeit I did not send them large sums such as this. I am fully willing to depart with this money for something I've craved for so long... $1k-2k means nothing to me if it means love and sex. All money USD obviously. I am seriously more than willing to give away this money... honest to God I'd pay 10k for a good woman.

I will likely crosspost this to Looksmax.org and to :y'all:/r/IncelTears:y'all: under a sock account as my main has been banned. Anyone else is welcome to post at either of those places for me as well as I expect to be banned from IT again for ban evasion. My hope is to get this screencapped and posted there if I cant get it over there.

As a special message to :y'all:/r/inceltears:y'all:... This is your chance to prove us all wrong (and to make some sweet ca$h on the side). This is your chance to prove to me and the rest of the world that personality and confidence and "putting yourself out there" is really all you need. You can show the entire incelosphere that you guys know how to get women if you can get me one. You can laugh in every single incel's face. I have a feeling no one from there will even try, claiming something along the lines of "Based on this post, this guy is clearly not healthy enough to be in a relationship blah blah blah I feel so bad for that woman who will associate with him I wouldn't do it for the money blah blah". Prove me wrong :y'all:IT:y'all:, I guarantee you won't.

Comment below or PM me if you want to help. I can also be reached via reddit PM at /u/StormlitAqua if any lurkers/cucktears members are interested. Apologies for the autismpost... I have nothing left to go to. I don't expect this to work, but it's worth a try.
 
I'm at a loss for words here mayne
 
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$2000 dollars for some shit you can do for free????
 
>Western
>White
>Christian
>Virgin

giphy.gif
 
This is the greeates shitpost ever made
:lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul::lul:
 
1472921656814
1456366611152
1476666202664

Lmaooooooooooooo
>He thinks that he can buy a White virgin GF for $2000 at most
>Meanwhile a bang average ethnic roastie sold her "virginity" (Anal and BJs dont count teehee) for $1.9 million

You're going to have to moneymaxx a little bit harder than that Storm buckoo.
For $1000-$2000 at most you can buy yourself a 5000lb, street shitting, curry foid who will leave you after 1 week because she found someone better looking, taller, and has more than $2000 to his name.
 
$2000 dollars for some shit you can do for free????
You wanna make some dough, you can do it. Offer is open to members of this forum.

Lmaooooooooooooo
>He thinks that he can buy a White virgin GF for $2000 at most
>Meanwhile a bang average ethnic roastie sold her "virginity" (Anal and BJs dont count teehee) for $1.9 million

You're going to have to moneymaxx a little bit harder than that Storm.

I know what you're referring to and that thot was far above my looksmatch... I am not asking for that. There are plenty of people in this world who could use 1 or 2k (I could buy a new guitar with this!). This is a total shot in the dark I'm aware, but I really don't give a shit at this point.
 
I almost forgot.

> *snap*

Cringe Compilation


There are plenty of people in this world who could use 1 or 2k (I could buy a new guitar with this!). This is a total shot in the dark I'm aware, but I really don't give a shit at this point.

How did you learn to play? I was thinking of going to guitar center to take lessons.

I think you'd have better luck playing in a park everyday and hoping some foid talks to you.
 
You wanna make some dough, you can do it. Offer is open to members of this forum.



I know what you're referring to and that thot was far above my looksmatch... I am not asking for that. There are plenty of people in this world who could use 1 or 2k (I could buy a new guitar with this!). This is a total shot in the dark I'm aware, but I really don't give a shit at this point.
Have you gone to church? Have you interacted with girls there your age or in college?


Also, how do you have a house at your age?
 
Qualifications. The girl must be:

- Some form of conservative Christian. LCMS is preferred, but I am OK with Catholics, Orthos, and Baptists. Emphasis on accepting the Chalcedonian definition of Christ and the Nicene Creed. Notable exceptions to this caveat include the LDS and Jehovah's Witnesses.
- Virgin.
- White.
- Under 25 BMI (US government definition of not overweight).
- Not more than one year older than me (I am 23 at time of typing).

Impossible. You’re asking someone to find the tooth fairy.
A white non-fat Virgin by choice? Cmon man.
 
You won't get no virgin unless you run peado game.
 
I know what you're referring to and that thot was far above my looksmatch...
This is the foid that sold her virginity for 1.9 million
q0YIYlA.jpg
You might be thinking about the model that sold her virginity for 3 million, who was like an 8/10. Without makeup this foid is a sub5, and yet her """virginity""" cost some poor cuck $1.9 million. JFL.
 
Good luck, OP. You'll get your white princess. Don't let the yellowfever copers bring you down
 
Imagine if I wrote a thread I'd pay someone $2k to go to Japan with me and find me a waifu.

I could not call myself a man and I certainly could not call myself Yellow Pilled.

I learn about life from anime and manga.

Maybe this wisdom will help you @StormlitAqua

Garou
 
Have you gone to church? Have you interacted with girls there your age or in college?


Also, how do you have a house at your age?
>Have you gone to church?
I go to church basically every Sunday (along with my mother. I brought her back to the Faith. It is somehting that makes me very joyful.). I was asked to join the choir but I declined as I am not a singer. I will find another call in the church that is a little more suitable for me.

>Have you interacted with girls there your age
I am not exaggerating when I say that there are literally zero girls between 16-30 who attend my church (there's one woman who's borderline 30 but is married so...). It is a traditional, liturgical church, not some lightweight light-on-doctine modernist church. We chant, sing organ hymns, recite scripture, things of that nature. No rock guitars and retarded dancing. This does not attract young people in general, let alone young single chaste women.

>or in college?
When I was in college, I was in engineering school, which also does not attract women of any nature, especially the one's I'm looking for. I went to church and a bible class in college which had a few young, chaste girls but they were not interested in me due to my looks (or maybe my height, I have been called too short before during a rejection JFL). I rotted hard in college and barely got the degree. Almost flunked out twice. Only made one male friend who lives about 3 hrs. away now.

>Also, how do you have a house at your age?
I bought it? I make a wage and I saved the money and made the down payment (I paid about 15%). It is about between 115k-150k in a majority-white, safe area. I would define the neighborhood to be lower-middle-to-middle class. They didn't make a parent cosign or whatever. I make a prettyu good salary for my area.

You won't get no virgin unless you run peado game.
I am fine dating any woman of legal consenting age. It is not worth potentially going to prison for anything younger, but I am fine with 16, which is the legal age in Ohio. In fact, the younger the better IMO.

Impossible. You’re asking someone to find the tooth fairy.
A white non-fat Virgin by choice? Cmon man.
I knew like 4 tooth fairies in college then... They just didn't like me back! Jfl. Were they lying? Possibly. I have no way of knowing.

This is the foid that sold her virginity for 1.9 million
q0YIYlA.jpg
You might be thinking about the model that sold her virginity for 3 million, who was like an 8/10. Without makeup this foid is a sub5, and yet her """virginity""" cost some poor cuck $1.9 million. JFL.
Hmm, yeah I was thinking of the model. That woman is still above my looksmatch no doubt, but not as much. She is thin which makes her valuable in the 21st century just by being thin. I know the ethnic woman ugly meme here is very strong, but her white looksmatch would be great for me. The only reason I would not date this woman is because I am against racemixing, but any blackcel who would call her ugly is an incredibly dumb.

If this is a failure, then so be it. Nobody can say I didn't try then.

Good luck, OP. You'll get your white princess. Don't let the yellowfever copers bring you down

I have many (10+ I believe) users blocked at this point so I don't see that bullshit anymore. Mods refuse to ban spammers so I "banned" them myself. Cucks. Thanks for the positive, yet cope-filled words.
 
Just shower bro. I'll take my check.
 
>Have you gone to church?
I go to church basically every Sunday (along with my mother. I brought her back to the Faith. It is somehting that makes me very joyful.). I was asked to join the choir but I declined as I am not a singer. I will find another call in the church that is a little more suitable for me.

>Have you interacted with girls there your age
I am not exaggerating when I say that there are literally zero girls between 16-30 who attend my church (there's one woman who's borderline 30 but is married so...). It is a traditional, liturgical church, not some lightweight light-on-doctine modernist church. We chant, sing organ hymns, recite scripture, things of that nature. No rock guitars and retarded dancing. This does not attract young people in general, let alone young single chaste women.

>or in college?
When I was in college, I was in engineering school, which also does not attract women of any nature, especially the one's I'm looking for. I went to church and a bible class in college which had a few young, chaste girls but they were not interested in me due to my looks (or maybe my height, I have been called too short before during a rejection JFL). I rotted hard in college and barely got the degree. Almost flunked out twice. Only made one male friend who lives about 3 hrs. away now.

>Also, how do you have a house at your age?
I bought it? I make a wage and I saved the money and made the down payment (I paid about 15%). It is about between 115k-150k in a majority-white, safe area. I would define the neighborhood to be lower-middle-to-middle class. They didn't make a parent cosign or whatever. I make a prettyu good salary for my area.


I am fine dating any woman of legal consenting age. It is not worth potentially going to prison for anything younger, but I am fine with 16, which is the legal age in Ohio. In fact, the younger the better IMO.


I knew like 4 tooth fairies in college then... They just didn't like me back! Jfl. Were they lying? Possibly. I have no way of knowing.


Hmm, yeah I was thinking of the model. That woman is still above my looksmatch no doubt, but not as much. She is thin which makes her valuable in the 21st century just by being thin. I know the ethnic woman ugly meme here is very strong, but her white looksmatch would be great for me. The only reason I would not date this woman is because I am against racemixing, but any blackcel who would call her ugly is an incredibly dumb.

If this is a failure, then so be it. Nobody can say I didn't try then.



I have many (10+ I believe) users blocked at this point so I don't see that bullshit anymore. Mods refuse to ban spammers so I "banned" them myself. Cucks. Thanks for the positive, yet cope-filled words.
Jfl virginity is so rare that it’s now worth millions of dollars..

I bet those college girls were just virgins on technicality though. If she’s not a Virgin in all 3 holes, she’s not a Virgin period;
 
Jfl virginity is so rare that it’s now worth millions of dollars..

I bet those college girls were just virgins on technicality though. If she’s not a Virgin in all 3 holes, she’s not a Virgin period;

My coping eveidence is that in the 3+ years I knew most of them, they never once ever mentioned a boyfriend. As you may or may not know, women love to brag about having relations around LVMs such as myself, in order to deter us from approaching/interacting. None of these women ever said anything. One even claimed to have no social media (I never verified this though)! A woman who does not use social media is basically turning down free worship...
 
This is the foid that sold her virginity for 1.9 million
q0YIYlA.jpg
You might be thinking about the model that sold her virginity for 3 million, who was like an 8/10. Without makeup this foid is a sub5, and yet her """virginity""" cost some poor cuck $1.9 million. JFL.

JFL if you actually believe she was a virgin! This is also prostitution tbh
 
Drop the race, weight, virginity, and religion standards and raise the reward to 500 thousand. Also be willing to move to south east asia.

Then it will be realistic.
 
Drop the race, weight, virginity, and religion standards and raise the reward to 500 thousand. Also be willing to move to south east asia.

Then it will be realistic.
No thanks. I prefer incel to cuck. Marrying a non-virgin non-Christian will likely get me divorce raped, meaning I will have have what I have now minus half my salary, my house, and my car.
 
Good luck? :)

You might want to drop the "my future mate must adhere to my views on the Nicene Creed", that seems a little oddly specifc. Just say you're a Christian and you like people who are spiritual or something.

I know it's important to you but requesting that they're virgins? Most people aren't virgins when they're 23. What's the big deal?

If you found a gf but she wasn't a virgin and disagrees with the Chalcedonian definition of Christ would that be a deal breaker? Would that really make ascending not worth it??? I'm really tempted to say you might be a volcel (being a volcel is okay) and the key to seeing if you can ascend is loosening up on your high standards and taking it easy.

JFL at providing a bounty... I'm picturing Boba Fett freezing your future gf in carbonite before delivering her to you, or Dog The Bounty Hunter showing up at your door with a woman. Worth trying, see if it works.
 
Aren't Asians the most racist people on Earth?

Who wouldn't be if you were the master race.

Just Lol @ StormfrontCels that claim any superiority to anyone when the white race is dying and the western world is becoming more of a toilet bowl everyday and most wypipo are celebrating it.
 
There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds me a girlfriend... you are free to use any methods necessary, but they must be a virgin. No Jehovah's Witnesses.
 

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No thanks. I prefer incel to cuck. Marrying a non-virgin non-Christian will likely get me divorce raped, meaning I will have have what I have now minus half my salary, my house, and my car.
Have you looked into mormon communities? Extremely conservative and supposedly they have to marry. Probably your best shot.
 
The only reason I would not date this woman is because I am against racemixing, but any blackcel who would call her ugly is an incredibly dumb.
She don't look like any black foid I know, she looks more Latina or mixed, Black women normally don't have straight hair, that's a trait that would come from racemixing. Also she would 100% be sub5 if she had no makeup on, her White looksmatch wouldn't look any better without makeup.

Not saying I wouldn't fuck, but I wouldn't pay $2000 to fuck her, let alone 1.9 million.
 
Just Lol @ StormfrontCels that claim any superiority to anyone when the white race is dying and the western world is becoming more of a toilet bowl everyday and most wypipo are celebrating it.
But you're white. The western worlds death is due to spineless losers thinking they owe brown people something, but most white people are waking up. Also if Japans so superior then why's it also falling into multiculturalism.
 
There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds me a girlfriend... you are free to use any methods necessary, but they must be a virgin. No Jehovah's Witnesses.

Me fourth from the right.

Y3P1zYg.jpg
 
But you're white. The western worlds death is due to spineless losers thinking they owe brown people something, but most white people are waking up. Also if Japans so superior then why's it also falling into multiculturalism.
I'd say it isn't as great as made out in anime, men are either giga betabux; working horrendous hours at a job aka salaryman. Too exhausted for anything or part time workers seen as low ambition herbivore men by foids. Then of course you have the neets, otaku & gyaruo Playboy's.

Declining birth rate with an aging population & a super obsession with sending your kids to best educational facilities & high cost of living = not having many children.

Exposure to western society also meaning the foids are getting picky.
Prostitution is legal in the U of K.
News to me man, pretty sure it's illegal as they have to hide these things as "escorts" or "massage parlours".
 
Have you looked into mormon communities? Extremely conservative and supposedly they have to marry. Probably your best shot.
It is specified in the OP that LDS (AKA mormons) are not acceptable, as they are basically not Christians. They do not accept the divine duality of Christ and blaspheme Christ. I am willing to accept a mormon girl who would convert, but they are very hardlined and have serious doubts that they would even do that. If they would than that's fine I guess. I'm fine with any woman willing to convert actually.

JFL if you actually believe she was a virgin! This is also prostitution tbh
Prostitution is legal in the U of K.
Prostitution is not legal in Ohio. Unfortunately that is a valid point. Even the chasteiest of thots is not worth getting anally raped in prison.

Good luck? :)

You might want to drop the "my future mate must adhere to my views on the Nicene Creed", that seems a little oddly specifc. Just say you're a Christian and you like people who are spiritual or something.

I know it's important to you but requesting that they're virgins? Most people aren't virgins when they're 23. What's the big deal?

If you found a gf but she wasn't a virgin and disagrees with the Chalcedonian definition of Christ would that be a deal breaker? Would that really make ascending not worth it??? I'm really tempted to say you might be a volcel (being a volcel is okay) and the key to seeing if you can ascend is loosening up on your high standards and taking it easy.

JFL at providing a bounty... I'm picturing Boba Fett freezing your future gf in carbonite before delivering her to you, or Dog The Bounty Hunter showing up at your door with a woman. Worth trying, see if it works.
There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds me a girlfriend... you are free to use any methods necessary, but they must be a virgin. No Jehovah's Witnesses.

If they are any of the denominations I list, they believe this by default basically, as this is what is preached. I only added those specific things to encompass all other denoms that I left unnamed. Those things are very important too... basically these are the "believe" portion of the "believe and be baptized" requirements to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Nicene Creed basically tells the entire story in just 3 paragraphs.

>I know it's important to you but requesting that they're virgins? Most people aren't virgins when they're 23. What's the big deal?
Refer to my signature as to why it's important for them to be virgin. It's almost a requirement. I will not be a cuck to another man and I will not risk divorce (or especially divorce rape!). I am fine with dating a younger woman before she loses it.

>I'm really tempted to say you might be a volcel (being a volcel is okay) and the key to seeing if you can ascend is loosening up on your high standards and taking it easy.

I have been rejected in the past by both ethnic and non-christian girls in the past. I only rekindled my faith at about 18-19, so before then I just went for whomever. I have also been rejected by chaste church girls. I get rejected by all girls. I have never rejected a girl. I am not a volcel yet. Ugliness and autism are still huge problems even with my supposedly "high" standards.

>JFL at providing a bounty...
My money don't mean shit to me if it means ending the incel curse. Fuck, I'd give every penny in my savings and checking for just a loyal Christian woman. Money can't buy that. No matter how much IT tries to convince others and themselves, I want to ascend.

dont worry bro shes a virgin alright, she only did anal and oral until 18!
Believe it or not, I'd be kind of OK with this. Point being is that as long as I'm first to penetrate, I get the pair bonding bonus. My sig shows the importance of marrying a virgin. If she had everything I list but had that, I'd settle.
 
dont worry bro shes a virgin alright, she only did anal and oral until 18!

And only took 20 half-dicks with condoms, she never had a full length bareback, she is just a child.

:feelskek::feelskek::feelskek::feelskek::feelskek::feelskek::feelskek:
 
Also if Japans so superior then why's it also falling into multiculturalism.

We will know for sure after the Olympics.

I am just glad I will be able to experience the city before it is eternally defiled by the convergence of western filth.
 
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Wh9l.gif



$2000 dollars for some shit you can do for free????
He probably has no sauce or “game” . He going to show up in fubu’s and a anime shirt with cargo shorts
 
He probably has no sauce or “game” . He going to show up in fubu’s and a anime shirt with cargo shorts
Gotta admit this made me laugh audibly, although none of it is true. My typical workday attire is a mkedium T-shirt (usually sports or music [prog rock or metal] related), blue or black jeans (size 34-30 or 32-30 if I'm feeling skinny :feelzez:) and boots (very similar to timberlands but not timberlands). Same thing for when I go "out", i.e. to the grocery store or the local sports bar to watch a game.
 
End of the world when ?

Btw 2000 is equal to model tier escort...
 
Gotta admit this made me laugh audibly, although none of it is true. My typical workday attire is a mkedium T-shirt (usually sports or music [prog rock or metal] related), blue or black jeans (size 34-30 or 32-30 if I'm feeling skinny :feelzez:) and boots (very similar to timberlands but not timberlands). Same thing for when I go "out", i.e. to the grocery store or the local sports bar to watch a game.
F619FDC5 AEEA 4FEE A092 A7D9F82D1986
F169E076 E5F3 4BC6 898A 161F1E1BDEAF
BC2573EE 13B1 424B 8853 7B9D94D11A52

Try dressing more modern , like streetwear could help your aesthetics . Just buy a black or white tee with a flannel some skinny jeans and boots or sneakers.
End of the world when ?

Btw 2000 is equal to model tier escort...
For $2,000 I expect a virgin and absolute 6/10 or above
 
Time to asiamax
 

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