Deleted member 19321
5’7 gynocel
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- Joined
- Jun 28, 2019
- Posts
- 60
I'm sure all of us have tried at least once to soften up on our ideologies and try to perceive things differently. I've tried and what always ends up happening is that I face rejection that I can't trace back to anything other than pure lookism. I feel as though I am trapped in my current state because any attempt to elevate my social status through talking to others always ends in me humiliating myself or it going nowhere. I've been invited to parties which I attend and then spend the whole time being ignored while the really good looking people are having the most fun and getting all the attention. At parties people look at me with scorn because I'm an outsider and an ugly male who has nothing to offer to their gratification. I'll try to connect with girls, try being really nice and it ends up with them losing attraction in me. I've tried redpill tactics as well and they lose attraction in me. It's not like I'm a naïve autist who does not understand what I am doing wrong in these situations either, I put up a great charade of normal social interaction but it never leads to anything. I'm not even depressed about the blackpill anymore, its just come and run its course on my psyche and its just something I live with now, with no effort to try and change the way I understand the world. I no longer ruminate about how hopeless it is for me, even though since my early teens I've always wanted to have kids which is a dream that has long since shattered. My interests and personality have become so far from normal that I don't believe I'll ever be able to fit in any social group.