I'm trying to be as nice and cheerful as possible. Well, I only interact with my parents and I love them dearly, especially in the last few years we've become very tight. So I do it for them, cause I love them.
So I try to be as nice as possible, as cheerful and calm and easygoing.
And I do manage to do it quite well, we have a nice atmosphere in our house. But for some reason, despite all my efforts, every day I end up having little outbursts of bad mood that I end up regretting. I end up spending like 30 minutes sort of apologizing and just sparking up conversation with my parents and making jokes, telling them what great parents they are, how much I love them and just generally trying to add more cheer to the mood of the house, especially to compensate for my outbursts of negativity. And sometimes I just get irrationally frustrated or angry, hard to control it despite my efforts to actively be nice and cheerful, it just sneaks up on you. Every day I end up regretting it and telling myself "ok, starting tomorrow this shit ends, you will be nice and cheerful 100% of the time". Lo and behold I end up moody again for a bit. And I have to make up for it again cause I want to keep a cheerful and nice mood in our house.
So I try to be as nice as possible, as cheerful and calm and easygoing.
And I do manage to do it quite well, we have a nice atmosphere in our house. But for some reason, despite all my efforts, every day I end up having little outbursts of bad mood that I end up regretting. I end up spending like 30 minutes sort of apologizing and just sparking up conversation with my parents and making jokes, telling them what great parents they are, how much I love them and just generally trying to add more cheer to the mood of the house, especially to compensate for my outbursts of negativity. And sometimes I just get irrationally frustrated or angry, hard to control it despite my efforts to actively be nice and cheerful, it just sneaks up on you. Every day I end up regretting it and telling myself "ok, starting tomorrow this shit ends, you will be nice and cheerful 100% of the time". Lo and behold I end up moody again for a bit. And I have to make up for it again cause I want to keep a cheerful and nice mood in our house.
