@OverBeforeItBegan
Lol I can relate to this thread so much, I always felt like I was another mister bean, which made my paranoia go through the roof, and it hasn't really gone away, but its more like its focus is directed towards other aspects of my life rather than trivial quirky things that bugged me, like you are talking about here
@Maxilla
I was even self conscious about what I was doing with my hands when walking, so I became a "pocket walker" type (hands always in pockets). Your post I could relate to closely, after some years that stopped though
The solution to the whole pace thing is to just make fast your pace lol (well that's what I did), i walk faster than everybody, and people are always asking why I'm moving so fast, after a while they get used to it and stop asking lol. Don't try to match everyone's pace, create your own, because you could never match their pace, if you are like me, your mind is always actively racing and thinking about various things, we can't operate on a normie pace because our minds are often elsewhere, they tend to live in the moment, not much foresight or planning goes into anything they do
There are perks to a faster pace like; less interactions with people since you pass them by more quickly and you look busy so they are less likely to interrupt you for conversation, you get work done faster, you always look busy so your bosses think of you as an active and hard worker, etc
My co-workers think that I'm confident by the way I act (which always makes me laugh when they say it), but its more like my mindset emulates confidence, the best way to emulate confidence is to stop giving a fuck, and the best way to do that is to stop caring about anyone or anything outside of your personal plans for your life, everything else is secondary
Also stop coping, the reason why you guys feel so self conscious is because somewhere deep down you are still latching onto the cope that you have a chance, so you are thinking about how you appear because you don't want to "look weird" and "ruin your chances". I admitted to myself years ago that I have no chance, and even if I did I'm not bothering anymore, out goes the "trying to look good" mindset
I'm open about how cheap I am, I'm honest with co-workers saying that i'll never get married, and that women are like a bill, a lot of the men laugh and agree ironically, I don't try anymore, I stopped trying, that's the secret to getting rid of the endless thoughts of "self correction", stop telling yourself that you even have a chance, stop trying, stop caring, its over.
