D
Deleted member 27204
Self-banned
-
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2020
- Posts
- 28,255
Obviously it's been said here that there are some incels that go for women above their league and are just as picky as women as not going for their looksmatch.
But why is this? Sometimes it's not just as simple as the assumption of how an incel might only find stacies attractive. Infact many times an incel can find the quirks of his looksmatch a lot more captivating than a stacy. That's why imo the standard talk of all "girls are the same", "get a hotter woman", "there's hotter women out there" doesn't make much sense to him and does nothing to stop him from having strong feelings for a oneitis that wasn't particularly good looking but that nonethless was difficult for him to stop thinking about.
But what would he need in order to have a relationship and sex with his looksmatch? He couldn't do ONS where he doesn't have the chance of getting cheated on because that's reserved for very attractive guys. So he has to take the risk of entering into an LTR with his looksmatch in order to get sex. Where there is a good chance his looksmatch could trade up at some point and leave him or cheat on him.
This could also happen if by some miracle he was able to get in relationship with a woman above his looksmatch.
But the betrayal and feelings of disappointment, embarrassment and sadness from being left by a woman that wasn't particularly attractive but still captivating and someone he could easily relate to and being cheated on or dismissed by his looksmatch is potentially more devastating to the incel than being left or cheated on by a better looking woman. Because in the latter situation it wouldn't be as much of a surprise or letdown if that happened and something that could easily be taken as is.
And at least he still would have been able to get sex and intimacy from the woman above his looksmatch at some point so even if the relationship was short-lived it would not end in as much bad feelings as if your looksmatch rejected him or left him.
It's hard to describe how this is but I think it's a big reason why there have been a lot of incels that aim high above their looksmatch. Because when an ugly woman or even your looksmatch is actually more likely to cheat on you than a more attractive woman (https://evoke.ie/2018/03/05/life-style/sex-relationships/ugly-women-more-likely-to-cheat) and the sex from an ugly woman is potentially not as enjoyable as sex from a hotter woman it doesn't make much sense to chase after your looksmatch (who is more likely to reject you than other women in order to boost her own status) and hurts less to try your odds with better looking women even if the odds are still very slim. Because the payoffs with trying with better looking women are potentially better in the very rare case you succeed.
Imo additionally this is similar to how a lot of people on this forum sometimes say rejection from a woman they thought they could relate to, wasn't the best looking and that they shared a lot of common things hurt way more than a rejection from a woman that they knew was probably above them in every way.
Not justifying volcels but imo this explains why some incels are pretty hesitant to go for their looksmatch and try to aim higher especially considering that their looksmatch has given them overt signs of disinterest but hotter women have not.
And it's not like this is an ideal scenario. It would be much better if incels could get in long term relationships with their looksmatch and their looksmatch wouldn't try to trade up, cheat or leave them but that's not usually the case now and his looksmatch always has in the back of her mind the idea that she can do better. So when the fallout from being ultimately unsuccessful with his looksmatch is a lot more devastating than trying his luck with better looking women that don't appear to reject him, it makes sense in a way why some incels don't even try with their looksmatch. Especially at a time when relationships don't last as long as they use to and women not matter what they look like have a lot more options and social leeway to leave the man they are currently with for any reason than in the past.
TL;DR
If ugly women don't behave any more loyally than hot women and ugly women have given you overt signs of disinterest but hotter women haven't it makes sense why some incels would gravitate toward hotter women and ignore their looksmatches that have in effect already rejected them already.
But why is this? Sometimes it's not just as simple as the assumption of how an incel might only find stacies attractive. Infact many times an incel can find the quirks of his looksmatch a lot more captivating than a stacy. That's why imo the standard talk of all "girls are the same", "get a hotter woman", "there's hotter women out there" doesn't make much sense to him and does nothing to stop him from having strong feelings for a oneitis that wasn't particularly good looking but that nonethless was difficult for him to stop thinking about.
But what would he need in order to have a relationship and sex with his looksmatch? He couldn't do ONS where he doesn't have the chance of getting cheated on because that's reserved for very attractive guys. So he has to take the risk of entering into an LTR with his looksmatch in order to get sex. Where there is a good chance his looksmatch could trade up at some point and leave him or cheat on him.
This could also happen if by some miracle he was able to get in relationship with a woman above his looksmatch.
But the betrayal and feelings of disappointment, embarrassment and sadness from being left by a woman that wasn't particularly attractive but still captivating and someone he could easily relate to and being cheated on or dismissed by his looksmatch is potentially more devastating to the incel than being left or cheated on by a better looking woman. Because in the latter situation it wouldn't be as much of a surprise or letdown if that happened and something that could easily be taken as is.
And at least he still would have been able to get sex and intimacy from the woman above his looksmatch at some point so even if the relationship was short-lived it would not end in as much bad feelings as if your looksmatch rejected him or left him.
It's hard to describe how this is but I think it's a big reason why there have been a lot of incels that aim high above their looksmatch. Because when an ugly woman or even your looksmatch is actually more likely to cheat on you than a more attractive woman (https://evoke.ie/2018/03/05/life-style/sex-relationships/ugly-women-more-likely-to-cheat) and the sex from an ugly woman is potentially not as enjoyable as sex from a hotter woman it doesn't make much sense to chase after your looksmatch (who is more likely to reject you than other women in order to boost her own status) and hurts less to try your odds with better looking women even if the odds are still very slim. Because the payoffs with trying with better looking women are potentially better in the very rare case you succeed.
Imo additionally this is similar to how a lot of people on this forum sometimes say rejection from a woman they thought they could relate to, wasn't the best looking and that they shared a lot of common things hurt way more than a rejection from a woman that they knew was probably above them in every way.
Not justifying volcels but imo this explains why some incels are pretty hesitant to go for their looksmatch and try to aim higher especially considering that their looksmatch has given them overt signs of disinterest but hotter women have not.
And it's not like this is an ideal scenario. It would be much better if incels could get in long term relationships with their looksmatch and their looksmatch wouldn't try to trade up, cheat or leave them but that's not usually the case now and his looksmatch always has in the back of her mind the idea that she can do better. So when the fallout from being ultimately unsuccessful with his looksmatch is a lot more devastating than trying his luck with better looking women that don't appear to reject him, it makes sense in a way why some incels don't even try with their looksmatch. Especially at a time when relationships don't last as long as they use to and women not matter what they look like have a lot more options and social leeway to leave the man they are currently with for any reason than in the past.
TL;DR
If ugly women don't behave any more loyally than hot women and ugly women have given you overt signs of disinterest but hotter women haven't it makes sense why some incels would gravitate toward hotter women and ignore their looksmatches that have in effect already rejected them already.
Last edited: