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Story Describe your blackpill journey in a quick summary

starcrapoo

starcrapoo

I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO GET NO PUSSY MANNN
★★★★★
Joined
Mar 8, 2020
Posts
7,304
Now: 30 year old ricecel, very disillusioned, alcoholcel, escortcel, overall failure

1. In middle school, knew that girls treated me very differently because of my looks/race. At this point I realized it was over.

2. High school. Same thing. Amplified and worst. Only morbidly fat obese chicks were attracted to me. Started to notice the stuck up arrogance of white girls + any noodle or latina that acted white (although overall not as bad). Overall not too concerned with others and not caring about my bad social situation (beta/unpopular).

3. Was very optimistic going into college as a SJW. Lots of White women and Asian women (white washed types). Started to notice the brutal cold treatment during this period. Mostly rich middle-upperclass whites in the dorms (chads, JBW dudes, beckies, stacies, would actively avoid you, gossip about you as the quiet, nerdy, isolated Asian guy). Socially octracize you in class. Started to see WMAF couples in high numbers at this age. Hard to make friends. Started to drink alcohol. Started to encounter white feminist SJW types who for some reason barely acknowledged your existence despite being a SJW yourself. Anger started to build at the VERY obvious exclusivity and hypocrisy of white liberals. Seems like things just did not apply to me. Didn't pay too much attention to ER when it happened but definitely saw myself (I cringed).

4. Entered the real world and job market in SF in late 2014. Brutality, realization, and then Anger. Started to see what I saw in college actually playing out in the workplace and who had the power all along and why people like myself are kept out. Its the opinion of the chads and foids that deem me as a lowly sub-human short ethnic male. TONS of noodlewhores dating all races of men most especially white guys of all spectrum of looks. Barely any foids with Asian dudes at all. White foids giving you unbelievably crude treatment and barely notice you exist despite being so loud and proud about social justice and inclusion. Tried online dating in mid 2016, would spend hours and hours thinking of good things to write and posting "good" pics. No matches except for extremely obese or fat black women, gays and trannies (CONSISTENTLY after indiscriminate swiping).

5. 2017 severe depression. Alcoholism taking its toll. No job no money, no savings. 2018 reddit incels and Eurasian tiger. 2019 accepted and acknowledged the racepill and blackpill. 2020 accepted into incel.co and thankful that this community exists.
 
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Bullied my whole life starting from kindergartenz, became an Internet shut in besides school since 7 years old. Bullying continues especially by foids and then went to 4chan in middle school and found r9k which was when I started to identify as an robot and then incel in 2016-2017 with truecels and incel subreddit and finally here after the ban.
 
My mid to early 20s happened.
 
I was bullied as a kid. I had no friends for most of school. No dates, lots of rejections. I had to watch all of my “friends” run off with their first gfs while i was left in the dust. One such “friend” got his first gf at 15 and they third wheeled me. Like they made out in front of me the one time. I stopped talking to them both. In middle school some kids made fun of me for having never been on a date. Well over a decade later, i still havent gone on a date. I was determined to turn things around after high school, but i didnt reach that conclusion until i spent 2 years Neetmaxxing. I got a job and tried approaching. I got a oneitis and approached her. Long story short she used me for food and attention. I did some real simp like stuff i am not proud of and it physically hurts to think about. One day at work this oneitis made a joke to a tyrone coworker about sucking his dick while i was in earshot. Yes they knew i was there. That moment took me to the blackpill. I tried everything with this oneitis- meeting her family, buying her shit, you name it. And here comes tyrone and with 1% of the effort i used, he got 100 times the results.
And theres that time a random teen chad made out with a teen stacy at the bus stop while i was waiting for the bus. She fucking said to him “we have something else to finish later” and i have never wanted to kill myself more than that night when i heard that. I got home and cried
 
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I was always a female skeptic. Mainly because I was called ugly as a kid, but never "hated" them like I do now. I had goals of getting a girlfriend, telling myself "next year". Sometimes I feel like I got close but truth is I was just one of many guys in her life. Just someone to talk to whenever the guy she liked was too busy fucking his girlfriend.

Discovered /r/Incels back in 2017 and the chaotic war between them and the rest of the site. Everything I was reading just made sense, like a math equation. I always had other incel like traits such as enjoying history, technology etc. Sometimes I disagree with some of the things on here. But ultimately, we are all because we are all GENETICALLY inferior. Whether it's physical or mental.
 
0. I am a curry and my first exposure to racial inequality was when I traveled overseas at the age of 8. That was when I realized just how well off whites are compared to curries. Nonetheless, I remained bluepilled and ignorant.

1. I remained blue + red pilled throughout high school and college because I was sheltered by my parents and lived a socially isolated lifestyle. I was bullied a bit, but never thought much of it. I believed in the value of hard work and put nearly all of my life force into my STEM degree. Ignored the reality that academic/career success was all about IQ, given that my more intelligent peers were doing much better than me in spite of less effort.

2. I was completely burned out after graduating, but continued to carry the red pill belief that hard work would carry me forward. However, I found that I was still lagging behind and job prospects were looking exceedingly out of reach. Employers want 5 years of experience from entry level people. They are exactly like chad chasing hypergamous foids, who demand perfection from their employees while paying them the bare minimum.

3. As my exhaustion grew and progress stalled, I started to recognize the importance of having high IQ (i.e., good genetics) and that was my first blackpill. You see, I was a studycel currycel all my life and girls weren't my priority; my career success was. At that time, I was very bluepilled and assumed that I'd somehow be able to get a fairly attractive girl in spite of being socially alienated and girls ignoring me.

4. Eventually, I encountered the r/TRP, then, r/Braincels and eventually this place. And the rest is history! I immersed myself into the blackpill and had a tremendous amount of awakening. I learnt about looks theory, increased my knowledge about the racepill, and about biological determinism. Its been more than 2 years since I encountered the incel community and I'm now an LDARing NEET 29 year old who is pretty depressed and suicidal.
Studying STEM and ending up as a NEET, that sounds extremely depressing. All that exhausting effort, not paying off. And being incel on top of that, my condolences.
 

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