Discussion Did anyone else grow up with helicopter parents?

[zekr]

I honestly believe that having helicopter parents is an even bigger hurdle to tackle when you are growing up than any sort of poverty or traumatic situation. They stunt any sort of social milestones that naturally occur during adolescence and get in the way of any sort of ascension even if that is possible during teenage years. One example is that my parents refused me to hang out with this one guy and his friendgroup when I was 14 because they were "urban exploring" (look up this term if you are not familiar) another example is that my parents refused me to hang out with this other guy in highschool when they found out he smoked weed. They constantly said things like "thats too dangerous" and acted as if im a 6 year old girl during my teenage years. Im not a teenager anymore but I bet if I did not grow up under extreme social scrutiny as a child and adolescence I would not be as high inhib as I am now. Any other helicoptercels can relate?

 

[Words2_live_bye]

My dad left when i was 2, but my mom was ALWAYS a helicopter parent. she didn't like me having friends (even though i couldn't make any) and when i finally DID get a friend, she'd never let him come over, or let me go over to HIS house. I also up into my teen years was told "how far" away i could go from our apartment. Which was like 30 feet or so lol. She still did this when i was 18. Now that i am 20 she has let up for the most part. But god damn did she seal my trucel status by raising me the way she did

 

[Deleted member 18214]

Yes but good genetics can overcome this lets be honest.

 

[Deleted member 22219]

I honestly believe that having helicopter parents is an even bigger hurdle to tackle when you are growing up than any sort of poverty or traumatic situation. They stunt any sort of social milestones that naturally occur during adolescence and get in the way of any sort of ascension even if that is possible during teenage years. One example is that my parents refused me to hang out with this one guy and his friendgroup when I was 14 because they were "urban exploring" (look up this term if you are not familiar) another example is that my parents refused me to hang out with this other guy in highschool when they found out he smoked weed. They constantly said things like "thats too dangerous" and acted as if im a 6 year old girl during my teenage years. Im not a teenager anymore but I bet if I did not grow up under extreme social scrutiny as a child and adolescence I would not be as high inhib as I am now. Any other helicoptercels can relate?

I have a dad which spent 0 quality time with me and as I grew up I discovered he was the biggest beta
Can't blame my mom since she buxxed all my needs
Tho due to my very low self-esteem I rarely asked for anything and lived a modest life compared to my brothers

I guess my father failed hard but I don't really blame him
His mother was the helicopter type so maybe that's why he thought it's better to not give a fuck

tl;dr
the opposite: not giving a child attention (while being a very shitty role-model) is probably even worse than overprotectiveness

 

[Deleted member 6018]

Yes I was never allowed to leave the house except for school and doctors appointments

 

[Deleted member 22685]

Yes, im 50/50 on the thing.
On one hand i could never learn shit i needed to without the interfeering.
On the other they only want the best for me and are really your only real friends.

 

[zekr]

Yes, im 50/50 on the thing.
On one hand i could never learn shit i needed to without the interfeering.
On the other they only want the best for me and are really your only real friends.

They aren't your friends tho. Thats what you have to realize here. Helicopter parents only due this because of control issues and selfishness, they don't really care if you socially fail or flourish just that you are under their control as a parent.

 

[Lame Dude]

My parents raised me to be a good boy who sits at home and not a freerange kid (A slur in my mother tongue)
Now they wonder why I ended up neet.

Delusional idiots. I feel sad for them as well tbh, they didnt know any better.

 

[San Salvador]

I honestly believe that having helicopter parents is an even bigger hurdle to tackle when you are growing up than any sort of poverty or traumatic situation. They stunt any sort of social milestones that naturally occur during adolescence and get in the way of any sort of ascension even if that is possible during teenage years. One example is that my parents refused me to hang out with this one guy and his friendgroup when I was 14 because they were "urban exploring" (look up this term if you are not familiar) another example is that my parents refused me to hang out with this other guy in highschool when they found out he smoked weed. They constantly said things like "thats too dangerous" and acted as if im a 6 year old girl during my teenage years. Im not a teenager anymore but I bet if I did not grow up under extreme social scrutiny as a child and adolescence I would not be as high inhib as I am now. Any other helicoptercels can relate?

Too fucking real, man.
When I'm driving with my mum, if I'm 10 000 light years from a wall she will yell: "SLOW DOWN YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH YOU'RE TOO CLOSE!!!"

Don't forget the FUCKING CLASSICS such as:
IS THIS HOW YOU'RE GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?!!! LYING IN YOUR BED WITH THAT PHONE?!!!
FOLD YOUR FUCKING CLOTES!!!
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT SLEEPING?!!!
WHY ARE YOU ALREADY AWAKE?!!! GO TO BED!!!

Me: Gets 1 F
Mum: YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL AND REPEAT THE GRADE!!!!!!!!!! STUDY!!!!! STUDY!!!!!! STUDY!!!!!
Me: Graduates with a 4/5 GPA anyway

Me: Meets a new friend
Mum:
Do tHeY sMoKe?
Do ThEy hAvE gOOd gRaDes?
WhAt do tHEiR pArEnTS dO?
AREE YOU SUUUUURE THEY DON'T SMOKE?

YOU HAVE TO COME HOME FROM THE DORM EVERY 2 WEEKS!!! YOU CAN'T WASH YOUR OWN CLOTHES!!! DETERGENT IS TOO EXPENSIVE AND YOU DON'T KNOW AND YOU WILL FUCK UP AND THE COLOURS WILL MIX AND BLABLABLABLABLANLA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

STOP BREATHING DOWN MY NECK, YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH!!!

 

[Yerberito]

No, they was moderatly

 

[muharremabi]

No but i wish they were, their neglection ruined my life/face.

 

[Kurt Gödel]

More or less they were like this. My dad spanked me two times without a good reason and that left me traumatized. One time it was because i told him i forgot to do one homework

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

No

 

[Emba]

Apache

 

[Capable_Onion]

Yes, and still do

 

[Rassimov]

I was 14 because they were "urban exploring" (look up this term if you are not familiar) another example is that my parents refused me to hang out with this other guy in highschool when they found out he smoked weed. They constantly said things like "thats too dangerous" and acted as if im a 6 year old girl during my teenage years. Im not a teenager anymore but I bet if I did not grow up under extreme social scrutiny as a child and adolescence I would not be as high inhib as I am now. Any other helicoptercels can relate?

Part of growing up is to be able to stick the middle finger to your parents, in the case of old-school authoritative parenting it was easy to rebel against your jerk tyrant father, he didn't pose as your friend - he was the law. With 'helicopter parents' you don't have parental authority figures, you have "friends", and you cannot ever betray or let your friends down, can you?

 

[SchrodingersDick]

Yes. They are in large part responsible for my missing out on developmental milestones. I’m currently a 26 year old boy. Maybe it would have turned out different if they weren’t so anal about sheltering me and focusing on Muh education. I was still extremely small for my age so probably would’ve still gotten bullied, but idk, maybe that still would’ve taken a different course. I got a little bigger in high school so maybe I could’ve had relationships and experiences then, but with my folks being the way they are, that was never an option. I think I was past the point of recovery by the time I left high school.

 

[Ratboy]

Only my mom. She's more catholic than the pope... I think that says everything. My dad never really cared.

 

[97cel]

Having helicopter parents who are too lazy to teach you about sex is the perfect recipe for an incel

 

[Sexdoll Pioneer]

I don't know what affected me and my brother more: my father's helicopter parenting style or my mother's neglect and extreme mental illness. Both surely hindered our development. Add into the mix rock-bottom genetics from my father and severe bullying throughout our formative years and you have the perfect recipe for lifelong inceldom. Neither my brother nor I have attracted any women in 70+ combined years and my brother is a helpless NEET without a driver's license who has never gone anywhere in his life without someone accompanying him. Both of us are doomed sexually and socially, and he is doomed financially.

What makes matters worse is that my dad still has the bullshit, bluepilled, boomer mindset that all you have to do is "think positive" and everything will fall into place. Here's an example from a recent email he sent me last weekend:

Over the years, I have found ways to project a positive image of myself. Even though I am short, stutter and am obviously not the most good looking person of the world, I was able to project a positive image of myself to the world. I used humor and other things to make light of the world around me and even make fun of myself in a light way to get people to laugh with me (not against me). I try to make people smile or laugh, in good nature.

It is important for one to not project a negative image of themselves to the world, especially these days. With terrorism and mass shooting much more common place in the past decade, people are on high alert to any sort of behavior that could signal a possible violent incident.

I am hoping to show you how staying calm in situations and not erupting with anger is imperative these days. If a situation arises in your eyes that makes you want to want to shout and show your anger, you could put yourself in great danger. People with cell phones quickly take videos of scenes that are extreme or violent. If a person erupts in a violent rage, people will either call the cops, take a video from a safe distance or flee the scene.

Please try to stay calm when in public. I want the best for you and hopefully I can help show you how to project a positive image of yourself, or at least not to draw attention to yourself. These days, any violent behavior could be reported to the police. You wouldn’t want to happen to you what happened to your mom when the police stopped her, smashed her car window and took her to the hospital.

What would you do if one of your parents kept sending you emails like these?

 

[Antorian]

Yes, and the result is that I have no friends(except for my dad and grandmother), no social interaction and i am not independent. Even my (brief and ineffective) attempts at independece today are met with unease by my father. Mom never really cared that much, but then we haven't been close since i was very little.
I am a child in the body of a man, and I sometimes wonder what my dad, for all that he (genuinelly) loves me, thinks of the fact that I am still that small boy that would hide behind his leg, scared at the world.

 

[Deleted member 22531]

Yes, and i can't help but think it had a massive effect on me. Sometimes i hear their voices when i'm alone

 

[universallyabhorred]

Sometimes i hear their voices when i'm alone

Flashbacks or alien psychotic ones.

 

[beta_max]

I can relate. They are partly responsible for my inceldom because they never let me outside to make friends or go anywhere.

 

[Deleted member 23682]

No I did not actually, I was mostly ugly. My dad screwed me by saying to just be a betabuxx and not focus on social life.

 

[CumBoy]

Yes they are terrible people for being this way

 

[Deleted member 18435]

Having helicopter parents who are too lazy to teach you about sex is the perfect recipe for an incel

 

[ItsOver4cel]

My father died when I was 2 but my mom always was kind of strict with the shit I coped with. The typical muhh videogames are dangerous boomer speech that pissed me off and left me hopeless. Vydiah and PC gaming were the only things that kept me away from depression. Thx to her I barely have any copes aside from a self-bought console and gymmaxxing.

 

[BarbarianCel]

My father died when I was 2 but my mom always was kind of strict with the shit I coped with. The typical muhh videogames are dangerous boomer speech that pissed me off and left me hopeless. Vydiah and PC gaming were the only things that kept me away from depression. Thx to her I barely have any copes aside from a self-bought console and gymmaxxing.

Was she religious? Your mom sorta sounds like a lot of religious fundamentalist parents I've heard of. No Vidya, no movies with nudity, etc

 

[ItsOver4cel]

Was she religious? Your mom sorta sounds like a lot of religious fundamentalist parents I've heard of. No Vidya, no movies with nudity, etc

Yes u guessed right she's a religioustard and a good one at that

 

[reallyunfuckable]

I did

 

[Deleted member 22907]

No but i wish they were, their neglection ruined my life/face.