The title might sound stupid, but hear me out.
Over the years I've become extremely cynical, skeptical, nihilistic, pessimistic. But I used to be quite loving and caring. Beneath the layers of what I've mentioned, underneath I guess I still am full of love. I express it to my cat, to my mom and dad, especially after all that I've put them through in this life.
Long ago I still used to fantasize about how much I'll love a woman. Sometimes in dreams I still do. All the hugs and cuddling and kissing and caring etc...
The me that I present to the world might be a bit unusual but still not very weird. However, I'm far from NT, so if I had the chance to love it would be unusual, almost autistic, since I haven't had the experience to tame this side of myself. If I could love a woman she'd probably be scared by it, it would look weird, like a gleeful kid who lost control of himself and doesn't know how to behave around others.
I've had so many years of love that I didn't give, so it would be weird if I ever would have the chance to give it. But by now I'm so cynical and skeptical, there's no way I can ever trust a woman enough to open up.
Over the years I've become extremely cynical, skeptical, nihilistic, pessimistic. But I used to be quite loving and caring. Beneath the layers of what I've mentioned, underneath I guess I still am full of love. I express it to my cat, to my mom and dad, especially after all that I've put them through in this life.
Long ago I still used to fantasize about how much I'll love a woman. Sometimes in dreams I still do. All the hugs and cuddling and kissing and caring etc...
The me that I present to the world might be a bit unusual but still not very weird. However, I'm far from NT, so if I had the chance to love it would be unusual, almost autistic, since I haven't had the experience to tame this side of myself. If I could love a woman she'd probably be scared by it, it would look weird, like a gleeful kid who lost control of himself and doesn't know how to behave around others.
I've had so many years of love that I didn't give, so it would be weird if I ever would have the chance to give it. But by now I'm so cynical and skeptical, there's no way I can ever trust a woman enough to open up.
