Does anyone else really hate or are even unable to spend mental energy/effort?

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For the last few years it's gotten so much worse. For years now I haven't even been able to watch new tv shows, I just replay the same sitcoms I've seen 50 times already. I can't even play games that require too much effort/focus. Nevermind Factorio or Rimworld or other complicated games, even Minecraft feels like too much work. Even MMOs that I could play the whole day years ago, now I can't spend 5 minutes grinding, it's too much energy and effort. Cause I hate spending mental energy. No, it's not that I hate it, I guess after the more than 10 years of depression and all kinds of shit, I'm almost unable to. My mind is fucking shattered, I'm a broken man.

Obviously, when it comes to productive things it's much, much worse. I only do productive stuff like homework when I absolutely can't avoid it, and doing it is incredibly anxiety-inducing and it feels like torture.

Being unable to invest mental energy/effort into things explains a lot as to why I'm living the way I am. I've had so much free time these past few years, and I haven't been able to enjoy it at all, because all I really did was vegetate in bed. Other than watching paint dry or literally sleeping, the way I spend my time is literally, literally using the least amount of energy at all. Not even thinking, just rewatching sitcoms and browsing the same few sites. Not even playing games cause they take too much energy.
 
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epillepsy

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yes, this is a huge problem for me.
when i was young, i could program games and write stories for hours on end.
now there's always something else i want to do (usually sleep).

it comes from getting no appreciation for what you do.
you spend so much time creating something and nobody appreciates it.
even your own family members refuse to read your writing.

it also doesn't help that i lost access to adderall and 4-fa, the two chems that really helped me to be productive.
caffeine is axiogenic and i find adrafinil to be dysphoric.
 
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Fancy Alcoholic

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Same. I just stare at objects, I don't even have the energy to watch a film or get involved with real content.
 
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For the last few years it's gotten so much worse. For years now I haven't even been able to watch new tv shows, I just replay the same sitcoms I've seen 50 time already. I can't even play games that require too much effort/focus. Nevermind Factorio or Rimworld or other complicated games, even Minecraft feels like too much work. Even MMOs that I could play the whole day years ago, now I can't spend 5 minutes grinding, it's too much energy and effort. Cause I hate spending mental energy. No, it's not that I hate it, I guess after the more than 10 years of depression and all kinds of shit, I'm almost unable to. My mind is fucking shattered, I'm a broken man.

Obviously, when it comes to productive things it's much, much worse. I only do productive stuff like homework when I absolutely can't avoid it, and doing it is incredibly anxiety-inducing and it feels like torture.

Being unable to invest mental energy/effort into things explains a lot as to why I'm living the way I am. I've had so much free time these past few years, and I haven't been able to enjoy it at all, because all I really did was vegetate in bed. Other than watching paint dry or literally sleeping, the way I spend my time is literally, literally using the least amount of energy at all. Not even thinking, just rewatching sitcoms and browsing the same few sites. Not even playing games cause they take too much energy.
Word for word describes my situation.
 
Deleted member 7448

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yes, this is a huge problem for me.
when i was young, i could program games and write stories for hours on end.
now there's always something else i want to do (usually sleep).

it comes from getting no appreciation for what you do.
you spend so much time creating something and nobody appreciates it.
even your own family members refuse to read your writing.

it also doesn't help that i lost access to adderall and 4-fa, the two chems that really helped me to be productive.
caffeine is axiogenic and i find adrafinil to be dysphoric.
Sounds like I really should be on adderall too. Though can't in this country for a long list of reasons, price being the least of the problems.

Though if you did have the power to do those things once, I'm sure that you'll be able to do it again some day. I respect that you were ever able to do it, in comparison I've been rotting and avoiding spending energy even as a kid.
Same. I just stare at objects, I don't even have the energy to watch a film or get involved with real content.
Yeah I pretty much end up staring at my monitor all day. Feels like I had a lobotomy tbh, I'm unable to invest effort or energy into anything.
Word for word describes my situation.
Sorry to hear that. Maybe it'll get better one day, though I don't want to experience that day. The only way I'll overcome this won't be to live a better life, but I'll overcome it when I'll be forced to wageslave for peanuts. So I'll be ripped out of my comfort zone of rotting and be tossed to the wolves to be a slave for the rest of my life. Ohh well, I guess I should be thankful that I was able to avoid it for so long, I'm way too old to be jobless now. Wish I could drop dead tbh, I'd rather do that than work.
 
Guykild

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Depends if I like something.
 
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Sorry to hear that. Maybe it'll get better one day, though I don't want to experience that day. The only way I'll overcome this won't be to live a better life, but I'll overcome it when I'll be forced to wageslave for peanuts. So I'll be ripped out of my comfort zone of rotting and be tossed to the wolves to be a slave for the rest of my life. Ohh well, I guess I should be thankful that I was able to avoid it for so long, I'm way too old to be jobless now. Wish I could drop dead tbh, I'd rather do that than work.
We seem to be in oddly similar situations. If your age in your title is correct we're about the same age too.
I'm going to rope before I'm forced to start wageslaving. Hopefully in the next few months or weeks.
 
epillepsy

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Sounds like I really should be on adderall too. Though can't in this country for a long list of reasons, price being the least of the problems.

Though if you did have the power to do those things once, I'm sure that you'll be able to do it again some day. I respect that you were ever able to do it, in comparison I've been rotting and avoiding spending energy even as a kid.

yeah, adderall is very expensive to get on onion sites as well.

***

i don't think i can go back to the mood i was in at that time with the knowledge i have.
there's no novelty, and i already know that whatever i make will not pay dividends financially or validationally.
it's not worth it unless i can confuse my brain with dopamine release to make it seem like i'm accomplishing something important.
and back then i may have unconsciously felt that these things might get me a foid to myself, which was a delusion ofc.

and there's something else indecipherable that's going on with my brain chemistry or receptors.
 
FullTimeLoser

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Same. It's affected my chess ELO, I now play on intuition blitz matches mainly cuz I literally can't handle spending more than 20 seconds thinking.
 
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Yah I have some solar powered battery in my head but they are getting old and corroding.
 
Deleted member 7448

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We seem to be in oddly similar situations. If your age in your title is correct we're about the same age too.
I'm going to rope before I'm forced to start wageslaving. Hopefully in the next few months or weeks.
I've contemplated about roping since I was ~13, and I've come to the conclusion that I'll definitely never do it. Doesn't stop me from begging the universe to kill me every day, but I won't do it with my own hands.

And I don't think you should either. It's permanent, and tbh if you're going to do something so permanent then you might as well do some out of the box things before you go that permanent route. Ehh, I know anything I'll say now will sound like platitudes and annoying shit in general, so I won't say much. But suicide's heavy man, go nuts and have fun a little before considering something so permanent. Make a bucket list of weird shit and do it before killing yourself. Got nothing to lose, right? Cause if you're dead nothing matters. Stupid stuff like bungee jumping, fucking a hooker, skydiving.
Same. It's affected my chess ELO, I now play on intuition blitz matches mainly cuz I literally can't handle spending more than 20 seconds thinking.
I can relate with other games, everything would be so much easier if I spent 20 seconds thinking, but I'd rather spend 1 hour just mindlessly pressing buttons and not getting anywhere, than 20 seconds of actually thinking.
 
MisterMeme

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For the last few years it's gotten so much worse. For years now I haven't even been able to watch new tv shows, I just replay the same sitcoms I've seen 50 times already. I can't even play games that require too much effort/focus. Nevermind Factorio or Rimworld or other complicated games, even Minecraft feels like too much work. Even MMOs that I could play the whole day years ago, now I can't spend 5 minutes grinding, it's too much energy and effort. Cause I hate spending mental energy. No, it's not that I hate it, I guess after the more than 10 years of depression and all kinds of shit, I'm almost unable to. My mind is fucking shattered, I'm a broken man.

Obviously, when it comes to productive things it's much, much worse. I only do productive stuff like homework when I absolutely can't avoid it, and doing it is incredibly anxiety-inducing and it feels like torture.

Being unable to invest mental energy/effort into things explains a lot as to why I'm living the way I am. I've had so much free time these past few years, and I haven't been able to enjoy it at all, because all I really did was vegetate in bed. Other than watching paint dry or literally sleeping, the way I spend my time is literally, literally using the least amount of energy at all. Not even thinking, just rewatching sitcoms and browsing the same few sites. Not even playing games cause they take too much energy.
I am having the exacte same problem as you and it's fucking up my performances at school and I have no idea why I always feel like this.
 
Deleted member 7448

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I am having the exacte same problem as you and it's fucking up my performances at school and I have no idea why I always feel like this.
Probably depression mixed with some other things mate.
 
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Ehh, I know anything I'll say now will sound like platitudes and annoying shit in general, so I won't say much. But suicide's heavy man, go nuts and have fun a little before considering something so permanent. Make a bucket list of weird shit and do it before killing yourself. Got nothing to lose, right? Cause if you're dead nothing matters. Stupid stuff like bungee jumping, fucking a hooker, skydiving.
That is good advice actually but the problem is I can't even do that. I have pretty extremely social anxiety. I can't even do normal activities, let alone going crazy and doing fun stuff. When I'm outside I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me or wants to attack me. I have depression and OCD too. I pretty much can't enjoy anything.
So I'm not roping only for being incel, my inceldom is just a result of my main problem which is my mental issues.
There are also other important factors but I've already whined too much.
Thanks for the nice words tho.
 
Deleted member 7448

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That is good advice actually but the problem is I can't even do that. I have pretty extremely social anxiety. I can't even do normal activities, let alone going crazy and doing fun stuff. When I'm outside I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me or wants to attack me. I have depression and OCD too. I pretty much can't enjoy anything.
So I'm not roping only for being incel, my inceldom is just a result of my main problem which is my mental issues.
There are also other important factors but I've already whined too much.
Thanks for the nice words tho.
I can totally relate. I'm anxious about everything, and I was on the receiving end of advice too and I always end up saying I can't do it. Even simple things, I can't do them. At this point I'm even agoraphobic. Hell, even going on a walk is tough for me, I just won't do it for many reasons. Anything other than lying in bed, rotting with my laptop next to me, anything other than this routine is stress and anxiety. Any minor deviation. Yeah inceldom is a minor part of my problems too, my mind is too fucked in too many different ways: depression, autism or aspergers or something among those lines, avoidant personality, anxiety, PTSD from all the stupid shit I did etc... Though still, suicide is a permanent thing. Before you do that permanent thing, you should exhaust any other possibility. If you have the willpower and energy to commit suicide, you can muster a tenth of that energy to do something else. Take that burst of energy that would otherwise push you to finally commit that permanent deed, to do something wacky that you'd never do and that is too hard to do. Do anything that isn't that.
 
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incelerated

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Before you do that permanent thing, you should exhaust any other possibility. If you have the willpower and energy to commit suicide, you can muster a tenth of that energy to do something else. Take that burst of energy that would otherwise push you to finally commit that permanent deed, to do something wacky that you'd never do and that is too hard to do. Do anything that isn't that.
I'll keep that in mind.
 
LittleDarkAge

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Yes. I'm failing my degree because I can't focus on the stupid online lectures.
 
Deleted member 7448

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Yes. I'm failing my degree because I can't focus on the stupid online lectures.
Yeah I legit didn't listen to 1 lecture this semester. Muted the tabs every single time, just kept checking every few minutes to see if they're not doing the checks if you are listening or not.

Luckily I'm in a shitty country, shitty uni, shitty degree. Could pull it off. An education as worthless as the degree I'm getting. But when my future wages are going to be $300 a month if I'm lucky, why the fuck would I bust my ass?
 
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yeah tbh I’ve mentioned this on some of your other posts but anything that takes active mental concentration burns me out really fast. I can’t even do things that I used to really enjoy like play video games or watch anime for more than 30 minutes at a time. as a result I spend most of my time doing stuff that takes little to no engagement like browsing forums

it mainly applies to stuff in my free time though. I can spend two hours writing an essay without feeling tired because it’s not supposed to be enjoyable, it’s just work. I just can’t concentrate on hobbies or anything like that when I could choose to lay down and do nothing instead
 
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Dregster666

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I literally can't think of 1 thing I like. What do you guys like?
There are a couple of tv shows on netflix that Ive already watched 5 times over a piece.

Im currently tanked out on video games. They would need to remaster again CoD4 for me to feel that energy again.
 
muharremabi

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I've always been like this ever since I knew myself. I would get bored with everything I was doing and couldn't focus my attention on a specific task. I am someone who spends most of the day in front of the computer. I usually try to fill my loneliness by playing games or trying to talk to people online. But even doing these I fail. I used to play the games I played not to be the best or to enjoy it, but because I had no other activity to do. But i believe being an ugly Man who lacks social life caused all this. Being an ugly and low IQ person prevented me from living normally and made my life unbearable and made me think of committing suicide. As I got older, I started to feel more lacking in having a good intelligence. My future is not bright, my hopes are long gone. Even if I try to comfort myself, I will never be accepted by the society, I will decay and die as an inadequate man with no qualifications.
 
ScornedStoic

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On one hand I think you're too hard on yourself given your situation, on the other I admire your will to improve.
 
ItsNotADream

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GYMcel and eat better
its not related to inceldom (or at least a little bit) unless you have a condition, its just lifestyle
 
Deleted member 7448

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On one hand I think you're too hard on yourself given your situation, on the other I admire your will to improve.
Unfortunately I don't have a will to improve, I'm just venting and complaining. Though once I start wageslaving things will have to change. Idk, I hope it will be some place where I can slack off and maybe during those times of slacking off I can improve myself or something. Though if history is of any indication, I'll be procrastinating.
I've always been like this ever since I knew myself. I would get bored with everything I was doing and couldn't focus my attention on a specific task. I am someone who spends most of the day in front of the computer. I usually try to fill my loneliness by playing games or trying to talk to people online. But even doing these I fail. I used to play the games I played not to be the best or to enjoy it, but because I had no other activity to do. But i believe being an ugly Man who lacks social life caused all this. Being an ugly and low IQ person prevented me from living normally and made my life unbearable and made me think of committing suicide. As I got older, I started to feel more lacking in having a good intelligence. My future is not bright, my hopes are long gone. Even if I try to comfort myself, I will never be accepted by the society, I will decay and die as an inadequate man with no qualifications.
That hits close to home, word for word. I find myself playing video games just because there is literally nothing else to do in my free time. I don't even play them, I just download games, try them for 10 minutes and then delete them. Or I do play one every now and then but it's not fun, it's just me wanting a break from watching sitcoms and browsing the internet.

But time is passing me by, I'm getting older and all these years of rotting are taking their toll.
 
Cope_Time

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For the last few years it's gotten so much worse. For years now I haven't even been able to watch new tv shows, I just replay the same sitcoms I've seen 50 times already. I can't even play games that require too much effort/focus. Nevermind Factorio or Rimworld or other complicated games, even Minecraft feels like too much work. Even MMOs that I could play the whole day years ago, now I can't spend 5 minutes grinding, it's too much energy and effort. Cause I hate spending mental energy. No, it's not that I hate it, I guess after the more than 10 years of depression and all kinds of shit, I'm almost unable to. My mind is fucking shattered, I'm a broken man.

Obviously, when it comes to productive things it's much, much worse. I only do productive stuff like homework when I absolutely can't avoid it, and doing it is incredibly anxiety-inducing and it feels like torture.

Being unable to invest mental energy/effort into things explains a lot as to why I'm living the way I am. I've had so much free time these past few years, and I haven't been able to enjoy it at all, because all I really did was vegetate in bed. Other than watching paint dry or literally sleeping, the way I spend my time is literally, literally using the least amount of energy at all. Not even thinking, just rewatching sitcoms and browsing the same few sites. Not even playing games cause they take too much energy.
It's strange that I can relate you so much, and other users, you're one of the legends of .co, so much users can relate to you.
I thinks this is a next step of laziness, you develop dopamine tolerance, everything feels boring including rotting.
Our minds are beyond fucked, as an incel, you're beyond fucked.
I can't even express myself, at least you're doing it for me.
 
Deleted member 7448

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yeah tbh I’ve mentioned this on some of your other posts but anything that takes active mental concentration burns me out really fast. I can’t even do things that I used to really enjoy like play video games or watch anime for more than 30 minutes at a time. as a result I spend most of my time doing stuff that takes little to no engagement like browsing forums

it mainly applies to stuff in my free time though. I can spend two hours writing an essay without feeling tired because it’s not supposed to be enjoyable, it’s just work. I just can’t concentrate on hobbies or anything like that when I could choose to lay down and do nothing instead
I can't watch anime either for example. It's impossible for me to do it without eventually skipping to reading the summary. Although I found manga easier to read than watching anime, it's faster paced.
It's strange that I can relate you so much, and other users, you're one of the legends of .co, so much users can relate to you.
I thinks this is a next step of laziness, you develop dopamine tolerance, everything feels boring including rotting.
Our minds are beyond fucked, as an incel, you're beyond fucked.
I can't even express myself, at least you're doing it for me.
Too bad you can relate, hopefully one day we won't relate to this shit anymore.

Though while it might seem pessimistic and defeatist, you are so right. We're fucked and it's beyond saving imo.

And I can't really express myself either. You should hear me irl, god damn I mess up saying "good day". I literally messed up saying that twice to the same person. My tongue doesn't seem to listen to my brain, guess I'm not used to talking out loud. But even in writing I can't properly express my thoughts tbh.
 
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ScornedStoic

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Unfortunately I don't have a will to improve, I'm just venting and complaining. Though once I start wageslaving things will have to change. Idk, I hope it will be some place where I can slack off and maybe during those times of slacking off I can improve myself or something. Though if history is of any indication, I'll be procrastinating.

That hits close to home, word for word. I find myself playing video games just because there is literally nothing else to do in my free time. I don't even play them, I just download games, try them for 10 minutes and then delete them. Or I do play one every now and then but it's not fun, it's just me wanting a break from watching sitcoms and browsing the internet.

But time is passing me by, I'm getting older and all these years of rotting are taking their toll.
I'd be excited to get to work if it was in the trade I want it in. Though, it'd be less about the actual work and more the money.
 
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I'd be excited to get to work if it was in the trade I want it in. Though, it'd be less about the actual work and more the money.
I'm jealous of that mentality, glad you have a trade you seem to enjoy/want to be in. My brain finds everything pointless and boring. Idk, maybe things will change with time.

Hope you get into that trade. As long as you try hard there's no way you can't make it, though tbh trying hard is a thing few men can do, I certainly can't. And if you have health problems then that is indeed a huge bummer and an obstacle. Too bad white collar shit isn't nearly as exciting.
 
ScornedStoic

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I'm jealous of that mentality, glad you have a trade you seem to enjoy/want to be in. My brain finds everything pointless and boring. Idk, maybe things will change with time.
I was like this the majority of my life where I was supposed to have some sort of "direction" or "dream job" but couldn't decide on anything out of lack of energy, indecisiveness and other reasons like not thinking I was good enough. Oddly enough, the only thing to break this was "giving up" so to speak after coming to terms with the fact that I would never hace any semblance of a normal life or the life I wanted. I kind of settled on something that checked enough boxes for me: pays well enough, allows me to be isolated, etc.
Hope you get into that trade. As long as you try hard there's no way you can't make it, though tbh trying hard is a thing few men can do, I certainly can't. And if you have health problems then that is indeed a huge bummer and an obstacle. Too bad white collar shit isn't nearly as exciting.
Yeah, that's the question isn't it, can I try hard enough given everything holding me back.
 
Guykild

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I literally can't think of 1 thing I like. What do you guys like?
Video games and art are the only things I can think of that I put any thought into. Especially video games.
I can't go into games without putting any mental energy of effort when you pirate a lot of them like I do. If I did, it will lead to me not finding any or viruses.
 
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You can't cope for too long once you know how the other half (sexhavers and foids) live much better lives than you by default tbh