I sometimes dream that I touch a foid. Not even have sex. Just touch.
What kind of hellhole has the modern world become to make such a simple thing as "touching" someone dream material ?
I also realized something about dreams. Back then, when I used to dig lucid dream and controle them, I found it very difficult to create the illusion of something happening between me and a foid.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not only talking about sex, I'm also talking about "love at first sight" and other kind of romantic illusion. I actually remember quite well a dream I had during my early teen, where I somehow was opening my heart to a girl in a fun fair, and we enjoyed activities there together, simple as that ... The feeling of "something happening" between us, some sort of human connection, a link between our souls ... This was one of the most powerful illusion I ever had.
That's what led me to studying lucid dream : how to realize you're dreaming, how to make those dream happen, how to keep them in controle ... But, the illusory aspect of this became more and more painful through time. Everytime, my cousciousness tried to wreck my work at making the impossible possible. For instance, in an attempt of recreating this romantic experience, the girl would progressively metamorphose into an horrendous figurine, a weirdly shaped stick or a tiny broken doll ... And sometimes I would only realize it afterwards, as the states of counsciousness are mixed and confused during such phases. The more I tried, the more I failed and suffered, and the innocence and purity of my first experience seemed impossible to reach anew.
So I gave up.
Until recently. Years later. I did no real attempts at lucid dreaming to be honest. But, that might be the secret actually. Some weeks ago, I had sex in dreams several times, during sessions of more or less lucid dreaming, that were totally unprovoked. It was not wanted, nor "innocent" at all. There were no feelings of bonds, nothing like these myths you believe in your youth. Just crude cruel borderline sex. Me touching her, making her moan with my hands. It was satisfying, but far less than this very first innocent and pure experience that led me to lucid dreaming in the first place.I don't know if the script of sex is written in our genome, or if I just know porn too well, but it felt really real, it was not a lousy (re)creation of my mind, suddenly changing into a pile of sticks. No. It was like a forgotten reflexe emerging from the ages, totally uncontrolled.
Lucid dreaming is a good cope, but you can't really feel authentic things if you're in total controle. It's annonyingly paradoxical : the more you'll try to perfect it, the more you'll fail. But you will not be able to really live a decent dream experience if you don't know the basics of lucid dreams in the first place. For I wonder ... There are technics to keep the link and stay asleep, despite your consciousness getting over. Maybe I used these technics on an unconscious level, leading me to live this high quality experience "unwillingly". Maybe not, it was just luck.
Have you tried it ? Do you have a personnal roadmap to share regarding such explorations ?
Brutal no reply pill
What kind of hellhole has the modern world become to make such a simple thing as "touching" someone dream material ?
I also realized something about dreams. Back then, when I used to dig lucid dream and controle them, I found it very difficult to create the illusion of something happening between me and a foid.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not only talking about sex, I'm also talking about "love at first sight" and other kind of romantic illusion. I actually remember quite well a dream I had during my early teen, where I somehow was opening my heart to a girl in a fun fair, and we enjoyed activities there together, simple as that ... The feeling of "something happening" between us, some sort of human connection, a link between our souls ... This was one of the most powerful illusion I ever had.
That's what led me to studying lucid dream : how to realize you're dreaming, how to make those dream happen, how to keep them in controle ... But, the illusory aspect of this became more and more painful through time. Everytime, my cousciousness tried to wreck my work at making the impossible possible. For instance, in an attempt of recreating this romantic experience, the girl would progressively metamorphose into an horrendous figurine, a weirdly shaped stick or a tiny broken doll ... And sometimes I would only realize it afterwards, as the states of counsciousness are mixed and confused during such phases. The more I tried, the more I failed and suffered, and the innocence and purity of my first experience seemed impossible to reach anew.
So I gave up.
Until recently. Years later. I did no real attempts at lucid dreaming to be honest. But, that might be the secret actually. Some weeks ago, I had sex in dreams several times, during sessions of more or less lucid dreaming, that were totally unprovoked. It was not wanted, nor "innocent" at all. There were no feelings of bonds, nothing like these myths you believe in your youth. Just crude cruel borderline sex. Me touching her, making her moan with my hands. It was satisfying, but far less than this very first innocent and pure experience that led me to lucid dreaming in the first place.I don't know if the script of sex is written in our genome, or if I just know porn too well, but it felt really real, it was not a lousy (re)creation of my mind, suddenly changing into a pile of sticks. No. It was like a forgotten reflexe emerging from the ages, totally uncontrolled.
Lucid dreaming is a good cope, but you can't really feel authentic things if you're in total controle. It's annonyingly paradoxical : the more you'll try to perfect it, the more you'll fail. But you will not be able to really live a decent dream experience if you don't know the basics of lucid dreams in the first place. For I wonder ... There are technics to keep the link and stay asleep, despite your consciousness getting over. Maybe I used these technics on an unconscious level, leading me to live this high quality experience "unwillingly". Maybe not, it was just luck.
Have you tried it ? Do you have a personnal roadmap to share regarding such explorations ?
Brutal no reply pill
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