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Serious Drowning To Receive Your First Kiss

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universallyabhorred

universallyabhorred

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When you drown and lose consciousness the preferred method of rescue is known as CPR which involves mouth to mouth resuscitation which is a kiss. I remember once in freshman high school my female swim teacher mentioned not to dive too deep that she'd have to perform CPR if we drowned, so this made me think if I could get my first kiss by drowning. Unfortunately I never did but maybe I should have.
 
Just drown yourself theory
 
sandlotcels lifefuel right now
 
Your swimming teacher would most likely let you drown instead of diving deep and rescuing you.
 
And then after all that, a fat old male comes to save you. :feelshaha: :feelshaha: :feelshaha:
 
Holy shit this is desperate.
 
Your swimming teacher would most likely let you drown instead of diving deep and rescuing you.
And she will claim cpr is pointless as hes already dead. Anything to avoid kissing an incel
 
I like the fact that so many guys on this site would probably do this, but they'd ironically never pay for sex due to some "principle"

Tricking a woman into "kinda" kissing you doesn't "ruin the specialness" of the kiss, but paying a woman to legitimately kiss you somehow does "ruin the specialness"

@universallyabhorred
If you really wanted a first anything, you'd just go out and pay for it, and if you are ironically alright with tricking a woman into "kinda" kissing you, you should have no qualms (if you're being logically consistent) with getting said kiss via payment
 
I remember once in freshman high school my female swim teacher mentioned not to dive too deep that she'd have to perform CPR if we drowned, so this made me think if I could get my first kiss by drowning. Unfortunately I never did but maybe I should have.
JFL at her hinting at how unpleasant and unacceptable it would have been for her to make lip contact with a sub4. You would probably have died, bonus.
 
@universallyabhorred
If you really wanted a first anything, you'd just go out and pay for it, and if you are ironically alright with tricking a woman into "kinda" kissing you, you should have no qualms (if you're being logically consistent) with getting said kiss via payment
Not everyone lives in an area with legal prostitution nor has hundreds of dollars to throw around on an escort that might even reject us for being too ugly or awkward.
 
Women would just let an ugly male drown
 
Not everyone lives in an area with legal prostitution

Its not legal where I live, I just took a chance, for the most part police have a lot more important crimes to chase after than some guy trying to get laid, so getting caught in a "sting" is very unlikely

nor has hundreds of dollars to throw around

Ironically you'd buy a console or a "gaming pc" (and games), but you can't spend a few hundred (a single time) for a once in a lifetime experience, that you spend everyday complaining about never experiencing, JFL I swear you guys will never make any sense

an escort that might even reject us for being too ugly or awkward.

Escorts are more pricier, just fuck a regular old prostitute, also the only way you'd get rejected is not for mundane shit that we like to hype up on this site like a "recessed chin", they've fucked plenty of guys that are just plain ugly, the guys they'd refuse are men who look physically deformed, so unless you look like a literal mutant, you very likely won't be rejected

I notice a lot of incels on this site like to exaggerate their ugliness as though its some kind of competition, and creating unrealistic outcomes for scenarios - "Dude I'm not 6ft and I have small wrists, there's no way a prostitute would take my money"

If you don't look like a mutant, all you literally have to do is take a shower, brush your teeth, and show up with money, this is probably the only time the "shower advice" actually works, because these women really want your money

You are really just making excuses, if you really want something, nothing will stand in your way of getting it, outside of death. If you see these experiences as something that you can just spend your life complaining about online forever, then YOU DON'T REALLY WANT IT THAT BAD
 
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Wtf!? Someone blowing air into your lungs is not even remotely close to a kiss. It doesn't feel good at all.
 
Its not legal where I live, I just took a chance, for the most part police have a lot more important crimes to chase after than some guy trying to get laid, so getting caught in a "sting" is very unlikely
There's always the risk of getting caught, you need to know the right people to help you find one that will definitely put out. You mentioned your friend helped you find her, well I am not that fortunate.

Ironically you'd buy a console or a "gaming pc" (and games), but you can't spend a few hundred (a single time) for a once in a lifetime experience, that you spend everyday complaining about never experiencing, JFL I swear you guys will never make any sense
I don't have any money of my own, so I don't spend hundreds of dollars on gaming pc or games. imagine trying to convince your parents to pay for a whore JFL, that will go really well.

Escorts are more pricier, just fuck a regular old prostitute, also the only way you'd get rejected is not for mundane shit that we like to hype up on this site like a "recessed chin", they've fucked plenty of guys that are just plain ugly, the guys they'd refuse are men who look physically deformed, so unless you look like a literal mutant, you very likely won't be rejected
I have no idea where I'd even begin to find a prostitute that isn't an escort.

I notice a lot of incels on this site like to exaggerate their ugliness as though its some kind of competition, and creating unrealistic outcomes for scenarios - "Dude I'm not 6ft and I have small wrists, there's no way a prostitute would take my money"
I am ugly as shit dude unlike most people here, I am also curry.

If you don't look like a mutant, all you literally have to do is take a shower, brush your teeth, and show up with money, this is probably the only time the "shower advice" actually works, because these women really want your money
I have read too many horror stories of guys being rejected by escorts to believe that. Maybe that'd work for a street hooker, but it's not like they offer their services openly.
 
I don't have any money of my own, so I don't spend hundreds of dollars on gaming pc or games. imagine trying to convince your parents to pay for a whore JFL, that will go really well.

Depends on how religious/moral your parents are and depends on which parent

TBH I could have probably convinced my dad to take me, and he's the kind of guy that knows these places and has "street smarts", in fact if my friend didn't help me I was going straight to my dad, its the least he could help his son do

Wait how old are you that you don't have your own money?, don't tell me you are a neet, sorry dude I believe neets lose all rights to complain, being broke is a choice, you can't complain about having access to nothing if all you do is nothing

I am ugly as shit dude unlike most people here, I am also curry

The average prostitute would fuck this guy:
d477645c-c5a2-48ef-9e72-c24579e13881-jpeg.151340


As long as she's not a "high end exclusive client" type, which is the type you shouldn't be pursuing to begin with

So you're saying you're significantly uglier than this guy

I have read too many horror stories of guys being rejected by escorts to believe that. Maybe that'd work for a street hooker, but it's not like they offer their services openly.

Well I'm shortish (5ft 7In), very dark, autistic and I have a small penis, so if I had taken those stories at face value rather than testing to see myself, I've never have had sex

I'll never get the fear of rejection from a prostitute though, we've spent out entire lives being rejected, were already the lowest of the low, we don't magically become lower once we get rejected by a whore, were already at rock bottom, we have nothing to lose (except our virginity JFL)

As long as its not a "high end" escort it will work too

EITHER WAY ALL OF THIS IS OUT OF YOUR REACH TILL YOU GET YOUR OWN MONEY, SO GET A JOB OR SOMETHING, YOU ARE PRETTY MUCH STUCK BEING A VIRGIN TILL THEN
 
Depends on how religious/moral your parents are and depends on which parent

TBH I could have probably convinced my dad to take me, and he's the kind of guy that knows these places and has "street smarts", in fact if my friend didn't help me I was going straight to my dad, its the least he could help his son do
My parents are unfortunately religious and traditional

Well I'm shortish (5ft 7In), very dark, autistic and I have a small penis, so if I had taken those stories at face value rather than testing to see myself, I've never have had sex
I highly doubt you are autistic based on your posts you are a psychopath with street smarts which is why you are socially and professionally successful. If you were autistic you would have never had a normie social circle nor maintain a job nor be able to laugh and joke around with normie coworkers nor would you have been able to find and get with an escort, your lack of social skills would have made you a pariah. Honestly why is autism becoming a cool label used by almost every single incel here, I am actually autistic and I am sick of people thinking it's just shyness or anxiety, and that everyone who's different is autistic.
 
I highly doubt you are autistic based on your posts

There are degrees of autism you know, it isn't just one "level"

you are a psychopath with street smarts which is why you are socially and professionally successful

I have zero street smarts, I got lucky and knew a friend who did to take me to a brothel

If you were autistic you would have never had a normie social circle nor maintain a job nor be able to laugh and joke around with normie coworkers nor would you have been able to find and get with an escort, your lack of social skills would have made you a pariah.

1. Social skills can be emulated, I basically just learned to copy people and add my own spin to it

2. I hope you understand there are degrees of autism, and in some cases it can have a positive effect on ones mental capabilities (based on how it makes you think)

In other cases you become a complete retard and even are a danger to yourself:


I doubt you have this level of autism else you would not even be able to speak as well as you do or hold a conversation
 
foid life guards would rather have u die
 
1. Social skills can be emulated, I basically just learned to copy people and add my own spin to it
How did you become better with understanding non-verbal communication and holding conversations?
 
You'll just end up like that guy who tried to propose underwater tbh
 
How did you become better with understanding non-verbal communication and holding conversations?

I didn't tbh JFL, you kind of just learn from trial and error, facing a lot of awkward situations, even then you'll never be prepared to identify every situation as naturally as a regular person does.

What you need to understand is that at the end of every interaction there is a goal, that's the entire point of the interaction, if you make that goal your focus, then you can deduce what it is you need to do and how you need to act
 
:cryfeels:
Screenshot 2019 09 22 17 24 31 940 comgoogleandroidyoutube

This is all I ask for. Us lot will never experience love.
 
I like the fact that so many guys on this site would probably do this, but they'd ironically never pay for sex due to some "principle"

Tricking a woman into "kinda" kissing you doesn't "ruin the specialness" of the kiss, but paying a woman to legitimately kiss you somehow does "ruin the specialness"

@universallyabhorred
If you really wanted a first anything, you'd just go out and pay for it, and if you are ironically alright with tricking a woman into "kinda" kissing you, you should have no qualms (if you're being logically consistent) with getting said kiss via payment
If you think OP is serious about drowning to get a kiss, then I think you might have a touch of the autism.
 
If you think OP is serious about drowning to get a kiss, then I think you might have a touch of the autism.

He's not serious about drowning (obviously), but he is seriously considering the probability of doing something like this, which has more to do with my point

Tricking a woman into "kinda" kissing you = Acceptable
Paying for a legitimate kiss = Unacceptable ("ruins the kiss")

My point had nothing really to do with the danger of the act, but rather the implication of considering the act and the irony that many would consider "stealing a kiss" an option, but paying for it is "goes against their principles"
 
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JFL, do you actually think a female would save a sub5 male like this? Their number one priority in life is to kill off bad genes, thats it.
 
OP = high IQ

I'll start drowning myself regularly so I won't be lonely
 
I didn't tbh JFL, you kind of just learn from trial and error, facing a lot of awkward situations, even then you'll never be prepared to identify every situation as naturally as a regular person does.

What you need to understand is that at the end of every interaction there is a goal, that's the entire point of the interaction, if you make that goal your focus, then you can deduce what it is you need to do and how you need to act

That means you are probably not autistic, because if you were you wouldn't be able to understand social situations or non-verbal communication effectively through observation. For example no matter how hard I try I can't pick up on many of the subtle cues or understand what they mean irl especially stuff like gestures, facial expressions, body language and tone, I can rarely guess from context or tell if they are positive or negative.

On top of that I can't make small talk for more than a minute or so at max without it being extremely awkward, stuff like follow up questions or responding to things emotionally or making comments about situations doesn't come naturally to me. I have heavy obsessions with certain topics and don't follow normie trends at all which means I don't much about whatever they are into. I have to think this shit through and often times I say things that are factually incorrect just because it sounds cool in my head. I can often tell when I said something dumb inappropriate or awkward but the damage is already done. Persistent anxiety makes this even more difficult, sometimes I just say shit because I am sick of living in fear almost like IDGAF but that clearly doesn't work out.

I have goals when it comes to interactions most of the time but I have no idea how to get there. For example let's say there's someone important you want to befriend for whatever reason or get that person to like you, I'd have no idea how to do that. I know I'd have to understand the person and try to mimic them, act like we are very similar or that I possess attributes that the person respects or admires but I can't really figure the person out, which makes it nearly impossible to act in that way.
 
For example no matter how hard I try I can't pick up on many of the subtle cues or understand what they mean irl especially stuff like gestures, facial expressions, body language and tone, I can rarely guess from context or tell if they are positive or negative

Dude come, this is exactly what I was talking about in another thread where incels like to exaggerate their shortcomings like its a damn competition - "No bro, I'm the worst"'

You telling me that you don't understand what a smile is, what a sad face is, you can't see if someone is upset by a look of disgust on their face (despite seeing it on so many women's faces in response to approaching them - I can't ever forget that face JFL)

On top of that I can't make small talk for more than a minute or so at max without it being extremely awkward, stuff like follow up questions or responding to things emotionally or making comments about situations doesn't come naturally to me

1. That's because you are trying to make "normie" small talk, shit you don't care about, the stuff I talk about is the stuff I like to talk about, people either just say - "dude you know you're crazy right" or they start laughing and they add their 2 cents to it, you can't fall into the "normie pace" because it isn't your "environment". When conversations about dating and relationships come up I basically freeze up in most cases and start looking around frantically (something I am conscious of and these days force myself not to do), I just go to my usual routine of - "its a lot of hastle these days, especially marriage, not interested right now"

2. Your part about responding emotionally is also the same thing, you aren't an emotional person so why are you trying to be emotive, I straight let it be known that i'm not really a "feeling" kind of person, so people show me baby pictures and I say "I don't feel anything", something sad happens like a death I just "emulate" a face of concern and empathy and say something typical "sorry for your loss".

You are trying to take on a normie persona, rather than incorporating normie behaviors into your persona

That's why your "personality" isn't believable, people think I'm genuinely the guy I am at work, because the guy I am at work is like 90% me, you are going about this "blending into society" thing wrong, what you are trying to do is something I admitted to myself I could never pull off, tried to do it at university, failed horribly, a lot of awkward memories I cringe at every single day

I have heavy obsessions with certain topics and don't follow normie trends at all which means I don't much about whatever they are into. I have to think this shit through and often times I say things that are factually incorrect just because it sounds cool in my head.

So don't talk about those things then, and don't really talk to them

The most significant thing here is your environment, I'm speaking about myself at a work environment, but if I were at school I'd be a social leper with my work place personality, don't know how to help you there, this is why I asked your age at the beginning, the more you speak, the more you make it sound like you are a young guy at school or university trying to "fit in", nothing I'm telling you is going to help with that, it just works in the work place because work environments are more impersonal

For example let's say there's someone important you want to befriend for whatever reason or get that person to like you, I'd have no idea how to do that.

Why are you even trying to do that, to me that just sounds weird, I never really like anybody tbh, not enough that I'd try to make them befriend me, I always just be myself, and if they want nothing to do with me, they have nothing to do with me, its much better to find a small group of people you share similarities with, than to try and "force" a relationship into existence where you have to pretend and fake it, you sound more and more like you are at a school environment, this doesn't sound like someone who is in the working world at all, I can't really help you, because I'm past that stage of my life and I'm glad, once the "schooling" phase is done life becomes much simpler and you have to pretend less, your priorities change, you aren't trying to "fit in" anymore, you are trying to "get ahead"
 
What if Chad saves you though?
 
That means you are probably not autistic, because if you were you wouldn't be able to understand social situations or non-verbal communication effectively through observation. For example no matter how hard I try I can't pick up on many of the subtle cues or understand what they mean irl especially stuff like gestures, facial expressions, body language and tone, I can rarely guess from context or tell if they are positive or negative.

On top of that I can't make small talk for more than a minute or so at max without it being extremely awkward, stuff like follow up questions or responding to things emotionally or making comments about situations doesn't come naturally to me. I have heavy obsessions with certain topics and don't follow normie trends at all which means I don't much about whatever they are into. I have to think this shit through and often times I say things that are factually incorrect just because it sounds cool in my head. I can often tell when I said something dumb inappropriate or awkward but the damage is already done. Persistent anxiety makes this even more difficult, sometimes I just say shit because I am sick of living in fear almost like IDGAF but that clearly doesn't work out.

I have goals when it comes to interactions most of the time but I have no idea how to get there. For example let's say there's someone important you want to befriend for whatever reason or get that person to like you, I'd have no idea how to do that. I know I'd have to understand the person and try to mimic them, act like we are very similar or that I possess attributes that the person respects or admires but I can't really figure the person out, which makes it nearly impossible to act in that way.
I have that same problem when it comes to talking.
 
a foid would rather me suffocate than give me CPR
 
Dude come, this is exactly what I was talking about in another thread where incels like to exaggerate their shortcomings like its a damn competition - "No bro, I'm the worst"'

You telling me that you don't understand what a smile is, what a sad face is, you can't see if someone is upset by a look of disgust on their face (despite seeing it on so many women's faces in response to approaching them - I can't ever forget that face JFL)
Sure I know what basic facial expressions look like in theory. But I can't usually detect subtle emotional changes in real time and read faces accurately, generally I can tell the difference between positive or negative emotions but not necessarily what people are feeling at the moment.

That's because you are trying to make "normie" small talk, shit you don't care about, the stuff I talk about is the stuff I like to talk about, people either just say - "dude you know you're crazy right" or they start laughing and they add their 2 cents to it, you can't fall into the "normie pace" because it isn't your "environment". When conversations about dating and relationships come up I basically freeze up in most cases and start looking around frantically (something I am conscious of and these days force myself not to do), I just go to my usual routine of - "its a lot of hastle these days, especially marriage, not interested right now"
I don't have many interests at all at least those I can talk about with normies. IDK what sort of stuff you talk about, but I remember you mentioned joking around with coworkers among other things, which I lack the social skills to do. I generally can't make conversation or banter at all.

Your part about responding emotionally is also the same thing, you aren't an emotional person so why are you trying to be emotive, I straight let it be known that i'm not really a "feeling" kind of person, so people show me baby pictures and I say "I don't feel anything", something sad happens like a death I just "emulate" a face of concern and empathy and say something typical "sorry for your loss".

You are trying to take on a normie persona, rather than incorporating normie behaviors into your persona

That's why your "personality" isn't believable, people think I'm genuinely the guy I am at work, because the guy I am at work is like 90% me, you are going about this "blending into society" thing wrong, what you are trying to do is something I admitted to myself I could never pull off, tried to do it at university, failed horribly, a lot of awkward memories I cringe at every single day
This is a good point. But even in situations like when you mentioned someone dying I'd have trouble mimicking the appropriate facial expression and tone.
So don't talk about those things then, and don't really talk to them
Isn't it true that in a work type environment if you don't talk to anyone or don't know how to talk to anyone without sounding very awkward then you'd probably end up being ostracized or bullied and get fired?
Why are you even trying to do that, to me that just sounds weird, I never really like anybody tbh, not enough that I'd try to make them befriend me, I always just be myself, and if they want nothing to do with me, they have nothing to do with me, its much better to find a small group of people you share similarities with, than to try and "force" a relationship into existence where you have to pretend and fake it
I want the benefits that having the right connections entail, but wouldn't know how to connect on a basic level. I would have thought that this would be important in the working world, at least building rapport with coworkers seems necessary, I don't want to be seen as the weird quiet guy and be ignored or disregarded my colleagues. At the same time I am not really trying to build deep friendships with people,
 
I did this. Not on purpose mind you. Ive always been ugly, minus baby phase, as a kid and so never went to the beach or outside. But one time I was forced to go with my parents to a family summer vacation. We went to a beach resort type place. There were these two cute swimmer trainers/guards patrolling the area. I didnt want to drown I just wanted to get their attention. Maybe talk and flirt a bit. I was 10/11yo and these girls were 16-18yo. Really fucking hot in their bikini and orange shirts. Gorgeous fucking tanned legs. I was hard all day and wanted to fuck. I plan on swimming out a bit and then waving at them. If they wave back then maybe that means they want to fuck me. (Legit what I thought)

Mind you i dont know and cant swim but my Mom has been yelling at me all day to join in on the “fun” with my cousins, whom are young Chads and Stacys at this point, as they found other kids and are playing beach volleyball. I dont know how to play volleyball either and am not athletic. I try and join my sexy cousins but they completely ignore me with one cousin, Ryan, obviously trying to get me to fuck off so he can try and fingerbang this qt. So I fuck off and go to the edge of the water to try and stay near the easy part so i can just like walk in the water and cool off. I had nothing else to do anyway as my Dad wouldnt give me anymore quarters for the nearby arcade.

I start walking and this is the first time Ive walked on sand and wet sand and first time Im in water besides bathtub. I quickly lose control and water keeps taking me more and more out. Im on tippy toes then cant feel the bottom. Om scared. I see my younger cousins and try to wave at them. They are 5 and 6 and swim-mogging me and wave back thinking im having fun. Im swallowing water and breathing it in real fast. This is it. It’s all over. At least I can get my kiss now and those cute girls will come and help me and probably make those cute girl noises when Im awake and ask me if Im okay.

Not sure what else happened but next thing I know my Uncle is smacking me on the back and telling me to cough. He is a doctor and came to rescue me. So my non-plan failed. I got lip-to-lip action from my fucking Uncle. Even worse I heard the girls didnt even see or try to rescue me. Like all women: They are shit in stressful situations and froze up. Even worse the rest of the day my Mom kept making fun of me because I drowned in about 6 feet of water. (Maybe 4ft at the time). My Dad was so embarrassed he ignored me for the rest of the trip. I was a bit happy because my Mom let me stay inside the hotel and I watched tv for the remainder of our stay instead of going out. So FYI you guys will mostly get kissed by other guys as females are shit in life or death situations.
 
I did this. Not on purpose mind you. Ive always been ugly, minus baby phase, as a kid and so never went to the beach or outside. But one time I was forced to go with my parents to a family summer vacation. We went to a beach resort type place. There were these two cute swimmer trainers/guards patrolling the area. I didnt want to drown I just wanted to get their attention. Maybe talk and flirt a bit. I was 10/11yo and these girls were 16-18yo. Really fucking hot in their bikini and orange shirts. Gorgeous fucking tanned legs. I was hard all day and wanted to fuck. I plan on swimming out a bit and then waving at them. If they wave back then maybe that means they want to fuck me. (Legit what I thought)

Mind you i dont know and cant swim but my Mom has been yelling at me all day to join in on the “fun” with my cousins, whom are young Chads and Stacys at this point, as they found other kids and are playing beach volleyball. I dont know how to play volleyball either and am not athletic. I try and join my sexy cousins but they completely ignore me with one cousin, Ryan, obviously trying to get me to fuck off so he can try and fingerbang this qt. So I fuck off and go to the edge of the water to try and stay near the easy part so i can just like walk in the water and cool off. I had nothing else to do anyway as my Dad wouldnt give me anymore quarters for the nearby arcade.

I start walking and this is the first time Ive walked on sand and wet sand and first time Im in water besides bathtub. I quickly lose control and water keeps taking me more and more out. Im on tippy toes then cant feel the bottom. Om scared. I see my younger cousins and try to wave at them. They are 5 and 6 and swim-mogging me and wave back thinking im having fun. Im swallowing water and breathing it in real fast. This is it. It’s all over. At least I can get my kiss now and those cute girls will come and help me and probably make those cute girl noises when Im awake and ask me if Im okay.

Not sure what else happened but next thing I know my Uncle is smacking me on the back and telling me to cough. He is a doctor and came to rescue me. So my non-plan failed. I got lip-to-lip action from my fucking Uncle. Even worse I heard the girls didnt even see or try to rescue me. Like all women: They are shit in stressful situations and froze up. Even worse the rest of the day my Mom kept making fun of me because I drowned in about 6 feet of water. (Maybe 4ft at the time). My Dad was so embarrassed he ignored me for the rest of the trip. I was a bit happy because my Mom let me stay inside the hotel and I watched tv for the remainder of our stay instead of going out. So FYI you guys will mostly get kissed by other guys as females are shit in life or death situations.
jfl at trusting a foid
 
There's just this one thing you're forgetting op: you are most likely ugly.
She would let you drown for fun.
And then she would pretend to have seen absolutely nothing.
 
Kiss and run is more better than this drowning thing. Just wear mask so the foid couldn't identify you.
 
There's just this one thing you're forgetting op: you are most likely ugly.
She would let you drown for fun.
And then she would pretend to have seen absolutely nothing.
Are you ugly and proud
 
It does not count as having your first kiss. Being "kissless" means you have never been kissed in a romantic way. 99.9999% of incels have been kissed before. It was just never in a romantic/sexual way.
 

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