E
I’ve struggled for the past few years. My life collapsed and I still have much to do in order to get my life back to normal. In the past, I was an incel who could still be happy and wouldn’t worry about anything dire. They say college is the best 4 years of life. Well I didn’t experience it that way in college. I go to a community college, and it doesn’t seem like what people described. Then I realized it’s more like that at a university instead. I have seen photos of my high school classmates at college, they have still managed to enjoy life. They have partied and they probably are having sex. I read that at age 19, most people have had sex, and many already have as high school seniors. I am 22 and have never kissed a girl, never had a girlfriend and never had sex. At my age, according to studies, it’s rare to be a virgin. I thought this couldn’t be true. I thought people lie in surveys because of the stigma against virginity. It’s too difficult to make friends at community college. At there, we all just go to class then go home. Most foids there are unattractive sub6 foids and it is impossible to find a situation where I can speak to someone without it being an awkward time to do so.
I have OCD. It got pretty bad during 12th grade, but I still could do so many interesting things back then and in 2nd semester the ocd wasn’t too bad anymore. I managed to enjoy 12th grade and I miss it. I never got laid. I never went to parties but I still had friends and had joy. My friends are far away and gone.
then in August 2016, when I was at the end of the summer after graduating high school, the catastrophe happened. My OCD suddenly went insane and I felt like a building I tried to keep up had collapsed and exploded. For the past few years, I tried to rebuild that tall building so to speak. My 1st year of college was horrible suicidefuel. The OCD interfered with my life and I spent a lot of the day trying to get rid of it. I got depressed and suicidal. The OCD got stronger. 2nd year of college was better. These past 2 years (years 3 & 4) have been good but I still feel isolated and my ocd isn’t completely gone. The building my OCD destroyed is only 50% rebuilt. When my OCD is gone, I will be alive again. This doesn’t mean that I’ll get laid though.
The internet caused my OCD. I don’t go into much detail about what my OCD was about because it’s personal but there was another particular subreddit that I hated and that was before IT.It’s a sub I hate more than IT. That sub had a huge influence on the internet before IT appeared. At the condition I am now, I couldn’t possibly even attempt to ascend if I was bluepilled or redpilled.
I’m still waiting for the day I am back alive.
I have OCD. It got pretty bad during 12th grade, but I still could do so many interesting things back then and in 2nd semester the ocd wasn’t too bad anymore. I managed to enjoy 12th grade and I miss it. I never got laid. I never went to parties but I still had friends and had joy. My friends are far away and gone.
then in August 2016, when I was at the end of the summer after graduating high school, the catastrophe happened. My OCD suddenly went insane and I felt like a building I tried to keep up had collapsed and exploded. For the past few years, I tried to rebuild that tall building so to speak. My 1st year of college was horrible suicidefuel. The OCD interfered with my life and I spent a lot of the day trying to get rid of it. I got depressed and suicidal. The OCD got stronger. 2nd year of college was better. These past 2 years (years 3 & 4) have been good but I still feel isolated and my ocd isn’t completely gone. The building my OCD destroyed is only 50% rebuilt. When my OCD is gone, I will be alive again. This doesn’t mean that I’ll get laid though.
The internet caused my OCD. I don’t go into much detail about what my OCD was about because it’s personal but there was another particular subreddit that I hated and that was before IT.It’s a sub I hate more than IT. That sub had a huge influence on the internet before IT appeared. At the condition I am now, I couldn’t possibly even attempt to ascend if I was bluepilled or redpilled.
I’m still waiting for the day I am back alive.
Last edited:
