Story father christmass switchblade sandwich

[Emba]

So, i bought myself a fancy American switchblade a fews years ago for christmass. It cost A LOT.

Anyway. I made a sandwich with it... See?

Nice huh? Lol.

It's legal to carry in my American state. I sometimes use it to cut up my pizza vegetables at the pizza place. Or open bags of stuff.

Switchblades are very fun and cool but they are not too practical. If they get linted (by lint in your pocket), they can fail to open. So, when you plan on being cool, you push the button and nothing happens, its annoying! And perhaps even dangerous.

Now add the need for it to constantly be super clean. So. You just get done cutting up some bloody thing, and...

Now it clogged! Crud in the springs! Blood in the crevices! You'll never be able to fully clean the thing!

Ok. So what else? How about weaknesses? Because of the various cutouts for the springs and latches, your blade is thinner! = weaker!

So. They're fucking cool. And you can look cool cutting food. But they are not good fighting or self defense knives! Sure, they CLICK! And open quickly. And seem scary. But a fixed blade is faster...

It's stupid how switchblades arr banned in places when they are actually INFERIOR KNIVES!

OK.

Where's the story?

Just this...

I tell everyone that my dad got it for me for christmass! That's the story!

My dad that doesn't give af about me@all gave me this expensive cool us made switchblade! [email protected]

Of well. I least i can make myself a nice sandwich before i clean the fuck out of it and put it away....

It's part of my knife collection. Just a fun and semi cheap cope.

I once found a dead mans knife collection in the trash in a city once... One day someone will find mine.

 

[JohnDoe]

Knives can be fun. I also have a switch blade but I need to flick a tab that sticks out to open it instead of pressing a button

 

[Emba]

I have some folding knives, I only carry them in case I run into a shit bull on my walks. I also carry a cheap stun gun which seems to be basically worthless.

I once had a stun gun that had the shape of a dagger handle and used a 9v battery. They are impossible to find these days. I miss that damned useless cool thing.

Knives can be fun. I also have a switch blade but I need to flick a tab that sticks out to open it instead of pressing a button

Ahh. The lever kind... Nice. I saw a few Eastern European ones, that looked cool (stag handes yup) but i didn't like the blade shape.

 

[FidelCashflow]

This whole picture is depressing

 

[deathsh+rt]

fucking lucky bro I have knives that fold but they just sit in a box but I always wanted a switch blade.

 

[Emba]

This whole picture is depressing

Ofc it is, bro. Sad shit sandwich man, men.

fucking lucky bro I have knives that fold but they just sit in a box but I always wanted a switch blade.

#metoo i had found many broken peices of them on my travels. And then bought a tiny one that looked like a peanut. Then i had to sell it and a bunch of other knives and things, and half of my axe collection to buy my fancy bicycle. Then years later (when my budget recovered) i got a few cheap ones and that fancy one. They are fun and cool toys that hold value.

Mine's a thing I bought for 20 or 30 dollars on Amazon, it makes a loud electric crack noise that makes most barking small dogs run away.

We have larger free dogs around here. For a while i carried a fixed blade huge dagger. But i am on good terms with those dogs because i keep going and don't stop in their territory. I try to outrun them with my engined bicycle.

 

[FinnCel]

Don't go ER with that, buddy boyo

 

[Emba]

Don't go ER with that, buddy boyo

Ok.

I take the same route every night, and only change it if some fucker gets a new annoying or dangerous dog. Sometimes they're off the leash roaming though, right on main street. If I see a big dog-like shape in the distance, and I can't tell if it's a shitty breed, I just turn around, I've seen multiple shit bulls ahead of my path before but thankfully they didn't notice me.

I was once knocked off my bike by two of them. I punched and kicked and yelled at them and they ripped my clothes a bit but they quit after being punched a lot in their eyes.

After that i carried a dagger and a big fibreglass stick. For reach.

But shortly after that happened they split. I guess they didn't want their dogs beheaded for a rabies test!

On my slow (regular unmotorized) bike i carry a 4 foot stick. If i was walking i would use a cane...

Most dogs around here are working dogs. Living security. That's their job. So killing them is a last resort. So a stick is "more polite."

Once i whacked a mean uncontrollable huge dog in front of its landwhale owner. She didn't say shit!

I have to admit that before that she did at least try to control the thing! Even tried a shock collar! It pissed that dog off big time! Eventually someone (else) poisoned it. Probably for killing - or hassling livestock. I lost a few dogs that did that too! But mine were shot.

 

[startcel]

Go ET

 

[Emba]

Go ET

Extra Torrent?

Poisoned dogs?

I don't know about poison, I don't know about that

She said it was "Strychnine." From the way it died... It's popular around "chicken houses" - chicken farms... To kill rats... Plenty in the area...

Ruff way to go... I didn't hate that dog. It was only doing its job - too well. She moved after that and her old house is rotting.

 

[Vermilioncore]

Go ET

 

[Hail The Bloatlord]

Nice one! But I don't know if I would like the idea of it opening accidentally in my pocket...
I prefer folding knives, I try to always have an Opinel in my pocket

 

[zangano1]

Incel trait: using cardboard plates so you don't have to wash

 

[JohnDoe]

Incel trait: using cardboard plates so you don't have to wash

Whenever I do that with a pizza box I like to hit it with my knife afterwards

 

[Emba]

Nice one! But I don't know if I would like the idea of it opening accidentally in my pocket...
I prefer folding knives, I try to always have an Opinel in my pocket
View attachment 170198

Ain't you the mr. fancycel!
Classic good looking knife their!
Those are very classy.

Thats why i prefer tip down carry. Unfortunately my bokers are tip up. But at least they have a recessed button.

Incel trait: using cardboard plates so you don't have to wash

Lol. I have a fancy French glass sandwich plate (that i got from an abandoned building) but its dirty...

Whenever I do that with a pizza box I like to hit it with my knife afterwards

If you enjoy doing that...

Then try rolling up cardboard and hanging it from a ROPE!!!

And let your 3d edge training began!!!

 

[JohnDoe]

Then try rolling up cardboard and hanging it from a ROPE!!!

And let your 3d edge training began!!!

Kek. I would need a second rope to prevent it from spinning like a fucking disco ball

 

[Emba]

Kek. I would need a second rope to prevent it from spinning like a fucking disco ball

No. That's the idea!

If you think anything is going to just stay in one place when you are poking it, then you are not realistic.

It's about aiming and striking openings fast. Yet, knowing the correct timing....

 

[JohnDoe]

No. That's the idea!

If you think anything is going to just stay in one place when you are poking it, then you are not realistic.

It's about aiming and striking openings fast. Yet, knowing the correct timing....

Implying that someone that I'm striking will fly back and up as I strike them. 100% realism. Getting a dummy would be ideal

 

[Emba]

Implying that someone that I'm striking will fly back and up as I strike them. 100% realism. Getting a dummy would be ideal

They do!
I have done it myself!

You would be surprised at how fast you can twich out of the way of a knife.

Of course it's not a natural movement. But its fun and cheap. 59% realism... Lol.

Ofc a dummy would be better! Or a cardboard stuffed pair overalls...

 

[JohnDoe]

Ofc a dummy would be better! Or a cardboard stuffed pair overalls...

Alright. Time to give my retarded friend (the dummy) some card board armor and have at him. (This is a joke incase the mods see otherwise)

 

[Emba]

Alright. Time to give my retarded friend (the dummy) some card board armor and have at him. (This is a joke incase the mods see otherwise)

Thrift stores have coveralls cheap.

 

[JohnDoe]

Thrift stores have coveralls cheap.

Similar topic. I might make a cardboard target and get some throwing knives as a passtime

 

[Emba]

Similar topic. I might make a cardboard target and get some throwing knives as a passtime

Don't.

Do.

That.

It's stupid and pointless. It may be fun... but throwing you're knives away isn't a good survival tactic.

Learn anatomy instead.

 

[JohnDoe]

Don't.

Do.

That.

It's stupid and pointless. It may be fun... but throwing you're knives away isn't a good survival tactic.

Learn anatomy instead.

It's just to be a pass time. I'm not gonna use the skill. It will be like darts. But with knives