soymonkcel
Trying to reach longevity escape velocity.
★★★
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2020
- Posts
- 3,702
The dating market is highly competitive, hierarchical, and often cruel. This fact is uncomfortable for anyone who values egalitarianism, so a more appealing – albeit dishonest – option is to instead blame Incels for their plight by suggesting that their unpleasant personalities must be the problem. The truth is that sexual attractiveness is a profound form of inequality, affecting not only relationship prospects, but also e.g. income and popularity.
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So here’s the deal for a ‘Stacy’ in the modern dating economy, or indeed for a ‘Becky’ (a woman of average looks). She’s bombarded with male sexual attention, offline and online, most of which she doesn’t welcome, and some of which she feels harassed or frightened by. The ‘Chads’ she dates may be reluctant to commit to her exclusively, since there’s no longer social pressure on them to do so, meaning that she may end up as part of an informal harem, having plenty of sex, but without the kind of monogamous commitment that most women say they want. In our porn-saturated culture, the sexual script prioritises male pleasure over female, meaning that most women don’t orgasm during hook ups, and commonly experience unwanted acts of aggression like spitting and choking. Then there’s always the risk that she might go home with a man who turns out to be really dangerous. Of course there is a certain thrill in feeling attractive, which provides some compensation, but it’s time-limited; after a certain age, a woman can no longer rely on her looks as a source of self-esteem.
All of which is to say that ‘Stacys’/‘Beckys’ and Incels are all losers in the modern dating economy, and that as far as I can tell there is really only one group of winners: ‘Chads’. Which is why, although I don’t think we should ‘re-impose moth-eaten and oppressive sexual mores on women’ [note from me: she refers to enforced monogamy], I also see our current sexual mores as harmful to women, just in a different way.
Following a link on an article @FrailPaleStaleMale shared, I came across this, which happens to be written by a feminist (Louise Perry). What are your thoughts about this, supreme gentlemen?
