Deleted member 7448
Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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- Joined
- May 16, 2018
- Posts
- 7,127
Lately it's been clearer to me why inceldom will be a big problem for me in the future. I thought it's slowly becoming not as much of a problem since I'm getting used to the idea of no sex or relationship, really those needs aren't as bad as they were when I was younger.
The big problem is when you get older and you're all alone in the world. That's the biggest pain of inceldom, and you'll only realize it when your parents get older.
The grief of losing one's parents is insanely painful and it never really goes away, I can't even imagine it and I hope that day doesn't come soon for any of us. But for normal people, even though it doesn't go away, that hole in their life is filled by their other relationships. Spouse and kids first and foremost, then a social circle.
I really hope that you guys eventually get to the spouse and kids part, but even if you don't I suggest really working on building that social circle, because it may be a nice comfort when you're all alone. I imagine even a passing conversation with someone will be extremely valuable when you're ~45 and haven't talked to a soul outside of work for years. Or maybe you have relatives and whatnot, I hope you do have that and it's enough for you, but I know a lot of you out there are like me and your parents are the only people in the world that love you, nay, the only people that you ever interact with. So the grief over that loss will be unimaginable, and if you can't fill the hole/distract yourself with other human relationships, it's going to drive you beyond insane with grief.
The big problem is when you get older and you're all alone in the world. That's the biggest pain of inceldom, and you'll only realize it when your parents get older.
The grief of losing one's parents is insanely painful and it never really goes away, I can't even imagine it and I hope that day doesn't come soon for any of us. But for normal people, even though it doesn't go away, that hole in their life is filled by their other relationships. Spouse and kids first and foremost, then a social circle.
I really hope that you guys eventually get to the spouse and kids part, but even if you don't I suggest really working on building that social circle, because it may be a nice comfort when you're all alone. I imagine even a passing conversation with someone will be extremely valuable when you're ~45 and haven't talked to a soul outside of work for years. Or maybe you have relatives and whatnot, I hope you do have that and it's enough for you, but I know a lot of you out there are like me and your parents are the only people in the world that love you, nay, the only people that you ever interact with. So the grief over that loss will be unimaginable, and if you can't fill the hole/distract yourself with other human relationships, it's going to drive you beyond insane with grief.
I have a very avoidant personality to the point it's a sickness, so I know what I'm talking about since I've doomed myself by my own hands in this regard, I'll never have social circle or even just a friend because I'll always avoid creating connections and friendships, I can't help it, just talking to a person other than for mandatory crap like work triggers my avoidance and I try to crawl out of that conversation asap. It's just so draining for me, a conversation is physically taxing for me, I feel flushed and my heart beats fast and I sweat etc... Even online, I just can't talk to people, it's so mentally exhausting and uncomfortable. Even when I actually want to change I can't, it's just too hard and uncomfortable.
Anyway, if you don't have friends and such I suggest really putting effort into it if you can, it's going to be really painful when you're older and all alone, so if you can, do try.
Anyway, if you don't have friends and such I suggest really putting effort into it if you can, it's going to be really painful when you're older and all alone, so if you can, do try.
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