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Guys, you really need to build a healthy social circle and I'll tell you why.

  • Thread starter Deleted member 7448
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Deleted member 7448

Deleted member 7448

Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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Lately it's been clearer to me why inceldom will be a big problem for me in the future. I thought it's slowly becoming not as much of a problem since I'm getting used to the idea of no sex or relationship, really those needs aren't as bad as they were when I was younger.

The big problem is when you get older and you're all alone in the world. That's the biggest pain of inceldom, and you'll only realize it when your parents get older.

The grief of losing one's parents is insanely painful and it never really goes away, I can't even imagine it and I hope that day doesn't come soon for any of us. But for normal people, even though it doesn't go away, that hole in their life is filled by their other relationships. Spouse and kids first and foremost, then a social circle.

I really hope that you guys eventually get to the spouse and kids part, but even if you don't I suggest really working on building that social circle, because it may be a nice comfort when you're all alone. I imagine even a passing conversation with someone will be extremely valuable when you're ~45 and haven't talked to a soul outside of work for years. Or maybe you have relatives and whatnot, I hope you do have that and it's enough for you, but I know a lot of you out there are like me and your parents are the only people in the world that love you, nay, the only people that you ever interact with. So the grief over that loss will be unimaginable, and if you can't fill the hole/distract yourself with other human relationships, it's going to drive you beyond insane with grief.


I have a very avoidant personality to the point it's a sickness, so I know what I'm talking about since I've doomed myself by my own hands in this regard, I'll never have social circle or even just a friend because I'll always avoid creating connections and friendships, I can't help it, just talking to a person other than for mandatory crap like work triggers my avoidance and I try to crawl out of that conversation asap. It's just so draining for me, a conversation is physically taxing for me, I feel flushed and my heart beats fast and I sweat etc... Even online, I just can't talk to people, it's so mentally exhausting and uncomfortable. Even when I actually want to change I can't, it's just too hard and uncomfortable.

Anyway, if you don't have friends and such I suggest really putting effort into it if you can, it's going to be really painful when you're older and all alone, so if you can, do try.
 
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I hate my parents and wish them death
 
I mean I wish I could, but I can't for obvious reasons.

20200221 105816
 
Nah, I doubt I'll still have friends at 45, assuming I'm even alive to see 45.
 
That's been my life for years now and it's not that hard. I talk with my parents once every couple of weeks and I nod at the receptionist at the gym and that's pretty much it.

Having friends doesn't really sound appealing. From what I remember, being around "friends" meant being the butt of jokes and mean comments. When I stood up for myself, I got gaslighted and soon cut off. I'd rather be alone than at the bottom of the totem pole social situations. Not that I'd know how to make friends as an adult.
 
I hate my parents and wish them death
Sorry to hear that, hope you find some peace and happiness in your life.
I mean I wish I could, but I can't for obvious reasons.

View attachment 394243
You don't have to worry, gorillas always have a big and happy group to keep them company.
Nah, I doubt I'll still have friends at 45, assuming I'm even alive to see 45.
That's why you need to try to build the kind of social circle that will be with you even at 45. Even if it's just someone to talk to every few days. And you never know how life turns out, you could live to 80, who knows? I've got various heath issues too but nowadays people don't just drop dead that often. So maintain your health mate, try to live healthy and build some relationships if you can, of course.
 
I’ve been thinking of this lately as well.

If my parents died and I hadn’t started a family of my own, I would sui with no hesitation.
 
cope, in fact i have stopped hanging out with my friends bc i dont care about them, i just want a gf

i will rope before im old if i dont get a gf anyway
I hate my parents and wish them death
based
 
That's been my life for years now and it's not that hard. I talk with my parents once every couple of weeks and I nod at the receptionist at the gym and that's pretty much it.

Having friends doesn't really sound appealing. From what I remember, being around "friends" meant being the butt of jokes and mean comments. When I stood up for myself, I got gaslighted and soon cut off. I'd rather be alone than at the bottom of the totem pole social situations. Not that I'd know how to make friends as an adult.
Well, I never really had friends but in school and such I also remember social interactions being like that. Normies with their sarcastic smiles and constant subtle or not so subtle mockery, even if it's in jest and said with a smile and laughter.

Sorry to hear about your circumstances, glad it's not so bad for you though. Guess I'm just overly attached to my parents. Hope you find something to grant you some happiness though, maybe a fun hobby or something, that would really improve one's quality of life even in solitude.
 
I’ve stopped hanging out with my friends , We’re just too different and i’m tired of putting a normie facade
 
Guess I'm just overly attached to my parents.
Do you live with them? Do they support you financially? If yes and yes then maybe that's the cause of that attachment.
 
I’ve been thinking of this lately as well.

If my parents died and I hadn’t started a family of my own, I would sui with no hesitation.
Would be nice to have a bunch of sheep and a nice farm in some village, with your wife and kids and a community of other like-minded folk who live the same type of lives. Damn, never thought a lazy city kid like me would fantasize about that kind of life. Hope you do some day get to live the life of a shepherd. Even without the wife and kids it would be pretty dope, much better than a city wageslave.
Do you live with them? Do they support you financially? If yes and yes then maybe that's the cause of that attachment.
Yes to both but that's not why, it's a long and boring story. They're loving and I love them too, despite the complicated and sometimes tumultuous past we've now reached a sort of equilibrium of happiness and tranquility.
 
There is just one huge problem with this, how?
I mean, I do want a social circle, it’s something I thought I wanted as long as I can remember. But how do you get one?
There hasn’t been one instance where I was accepted into a group of friends or friends in general. Closest I had were some acquaintances I would see in school, who would work with me on homework when I was younger. These were temporary social interactions that wore off after our tasks were complete, they move on back to their real friends. And I was always back to being alone.

I honestly don’t know how to relate with people anymore.
 
i dont understand
 
There is just one huge problem with this, how?
I mean, I do want a social circle, it’s something I thought I wanted as long as I can remember. But how do you get one?
There hasn’t been one instance where I was accepted into a group of friends or friends in general. Closest I had were some acquaintances I would see in school, who would work with me on homework when I was younger. These were temporary social interactions that wore off after our tasks were complete, they move on back to their real friends. And I was always back to being alone.

I honestly don’t know how to relate with people anymore.
Yes, that is a great point. And it does seem nigh impossible to me too. Especially since we've developed such solitary tendencies. But I think (and I may be very wrong) that the key is simply the number of interactions, putting yourself out there enough. So going places and doing things with other people. There must be places where you get to interact with strangers and do things with them (and after that you get to personally make friends with people you like idk, I'm just thinking here), but I'm not knowledgeable enough about it to give proper examples. Maybe like a club for some hobby or something. Like improv/acting classes and such. Those things might not even exist in some countries like mine for example so idk, I might be spewing bullshit.
 
Would be nice to have a bunch of sheep and a nice farm in some village, with your wife and kids and a community of other like-minded folk who live the same type of lives. Damn, never thought a lazy city kid like me would fantasize about that kind of life. Hope you do some day get to live the life of a shepherd. Even without the wife and kids it would be pretty dope, much better than a city wageslave.
Yeah... I realized a few years ago that this is the only life that would make me happy. After traveling to work and learn on different farms in europe and the usa, I’m finally getting things going on my own. The sheer lack of happenstance interactions in the countryside is extremely low, so I’m pretty discouraged. Young people left for the cities after the first war. They called it the “brain drain”.

I’m thinking of getting a dog so I don’t go fucking crazy out here.
 
Yes, that is a great point. And it does seem nigh impossible to me too. Especially since we've developed such solitary tendencies. But I think (and I may be very wrong) that the key is simply the number of interactions, putting yourself out there enough. So going places and doing things with other people. There must be places where you get to interact with strangers and do things with them (and after that you get to personally make friends with people you like idk, I'm just thinking here), but I'm not knowledgeable enough about it to give proper examples. Maybe like a club for some hobby or something. Like improv/acting classes and such. Those things might not even exist in some countries like mine for example so idk, I might be spewing bullshit.
I have tried reaching out into my hobbies in general, attending conventions, hanging around gaming/hobby centres. But usually it’s always the same. I end up just looking over what other people are doing in their own groups, playing games and whatnot, I have never noticed a person enter one of these meet ups alone, they always have someone tagging along with them, except me.

I guess it depends on the circumstance, but I think the only true way people like us could still make friends is if we find people of a similar social withdrawal like us. Thinking about it, I highly doubt we can ever truly relate with our normie peers, relationships have to be built over time. If someone already has a lot of friends they are less likely to spend time with their newer friends, aka us if we were ever able to make one. Which is why young age is so important, it’s much easier to talk to a group of people when they are on the same social experience as you.
 
Yeah... I realized a few years ago that this is the only life that would make me happy. After traveling to work and learn on different farms in europe and the usa, I’m finally getting things going on my own. The sheer lack of happenstance interactions in the countryside is extremely low, so I’m pretty discouraged. Young people left for the cities after the first war. They called it the “brain drain”.

I’m thinking of getting a dog so I don’t go fucking crazy out here.
Ohh yeah, that's a good point, the number of interactions is lower out there. So if the neighbors aren't friendly it's pretty much even worse solitude than in the city, huh. Good point. Though there are villages with several thousand inhabitants I think, could be worth looking at one of those.

The dog is a good idea, maybe even more than 1.
I have tried reaching out into my hobbies in general, attending conventions, hanging around gaming/hobby centres. But usually it’s always the same. I end up just looking over what other people are doing in their own groups, playing games and whatnot, I have never noticed a person enter one of these meet ups alone, they always have someone tagging along with them, except me.

I guess it depends on the circumstance, but I think the only true way people like us could still make friends is if we find people of a similar social withdrawal like us. Thinking about it, I highly doubt we can ever truly relate with our normie peers, relationships have to be built over time. If someone already has a lot of friends they are less likely to spend time with their newer friends, aka us if we were ever able to make one. Which is why young age is so important, it’s much easier to talk to a group of people when they are on the same social experience as you.
Ohh wow, you actually did try those things. That's impressive tbh, that takes a lot of effort and energy. So sorry to hear that's how it turned out, damn, that was pretty much the only idea that I had. Such a bummer. So all that's left is what you described, huh. Wow, life is way too damn complicated I swear I'm not suited for human existence.
 
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Nah, I doubt I'll still have friends at 45, assuming I'm even alive to see 45.
It's pointless if you dont have a partner tbh, most people at that age already settled down with someone. Being 45 and single is a literal death sentence among those social circles.
 
High levels of IQ detected
 
It's pointless if you dont have a partner tbh, most people at that age already settled down with someone. Being 45 and single is a literal death sentence among those social circles.
Devastatingly accurate take ngl
 
Well, I never really had friends but in school and such I also remember social interactions being like that. Normies with their sarcastic smiles and constant subtle or not so subtle mockery, even if it's in jest and said with a smile and laughter.

Sorry to hear about your circumstances, glad it's not so bad for you though. Guess I'm just overly attached to my parents. Hope you find something to grant you some happiness though, maybe a fun hobby or something, that would really improve one's quality of life even in solitude.
I came here to write this exactly.
 
I'm sorry you've never had any friends, OP. But as you get older, every one of your friends will eventually get into relationships.
Suddenly you're the only single in the group, then one of two things will happen:
  • Either you won't feel comfortable around couples anymore (trust me, It's awkward af being the third wheel, you feel vulnerable, people often make fun of you, It's fucking terrible) and you will slowly distance yourself from them, until you're not even friends anymore
  • or your so-called "friends" will stop inviting you to hang out because their girlfriends don't feel comfortable around you
You just can't win as an incel.
 
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I'm sorry you've never had any friends, OP. But as you get older, every one of your friends will eventually get into relationships.
Suddenly you're the only single in the group, then one of two things will happen:
  • Either you won't feel comfortable around couples anymore (trust me, It's awkward af being the third wheel, you feel vulnerable, people often make fun of you, It's fucking terrible) and you will slowly distance yourself from them, until you're not even friends anymore
  • or your so-called "friends" will stop inviting you to hang out because their girlfriends don't feel comfortable around you
You just can't win as an incel.
Damn, that is brutal. So as an incel you're screwed either way, huh? Damn, life is hard.
 
Damn, that is brutal. So as an incel you're screwed either way, huh? Damn, life is hard.
well... this is basically how it goes in your 20s (or at least that's how my experience's been so far), in your 30s I would imagine It's even worse, since pretty much everyone would be married and have children of their own.
Maybe in our mid/late 30s we could join some interest group like a walking group and hopefully meet other lonely guys to hang out with.
 
That's been my life for years now and it's not that hard. I talk with my parents once every couple of weeks and I nod at the receptionist at the gym and that's pretty much it.

Having friends doesn't really sound appealing. From what I remember, being around "friends" meant being the butt of jokes and mean comments. When I stood up for myself, I got gaslighted and soon cut off. I'd rather be alone than at the bottom of the totem pole social situations. Not that I'd know how to make friends as an adult.
true shit quite relatable the only difference is i nod at the cashier
 
Devastatingly accurate take ngl
It's something I see everyday. I grow more conscious of this reality every year that passes by.

Im at a loss of what to do here after I crack 35 tbh you cant pretend to be a slayer bachelor your entire life if you aren't chad.
 
My parents hate me and want me dead.

And I'm gonna kill myself before 30 if I fail to ascend. So I don't really care about a social circle. They'll never help me ascend. All they'll do is tear me down and roast me in front of foids to make them laugh.
 
I hate my parents and wish them death
Same tbh — the truth is most low status poor ugly men (most men then) would’ve been better off never being born.
 
It's something I see everyday. I grow more conscious of this reality every year that passes by.
tbh it's no wonder that "single" guys that old basically drop off the face of the earth.
Im at a loss of what to do here after I crack 35 tbh you cant pretend to be a slayer bachelor your entire life if you aren't chad.
tbh the agepill assures even bachelors that were successful in their prime needing to settle down with a foid at some point if they want consistent sex and intimacy. Otherwise they become the creepy old guy at the club trying to unsuccessfully pick up foids or the guy known as going through a mid life crisis.
 
tbh it's no wonder that "single" guys that old basically drop off the face of the earth.
Tbh

There's no point in being out there when holes dont even want you as a token partner.
 
didnt read, already know its :bluepill:
no social circle for your face
 
I hate my parents and wish them death
same

and i have a social circle called life is a bitch
I hate my parents and wish them death
same

and i have a social circle called life
I'm sorry you've never had any friends, OP. But as you get older, every one of your friends will eventually get into relationships.
Suddenly you're the only single in the group, then one of two things will happen:
  • Either you won't feel comfortable around couples anymore (trust me, It's awkward af being the third wheel, you feel vulnerable, people often make fun of you, It's fucking terrible) and you will slowly distance yourself from them, until you're not even friends anymore
  • or your so-called "friends" will stop inviting you to hang out because their girlfriends don't feel comfortable around you
You just can't win as an incel.
 
I'm down to 1 parent already & after that there's no one, too late for me buddy.
 
I really hope that you guys eventually get to the spouse and kids part
im so confused by this. never once for any man in any time was it a good idea to attach yourself to a foid by making her your spouse and attaching yourself further by having kids. the latter perpetuates the fleeting and agonizing process of human experience for no reason and gives a person an unnecessary and pointless burden

the fact that this is especially the case for ugly men (whose foids are going to tell the chads of the village you raped her so they can murder you so the bitch can get sympathy, join chads harem, and allow her kids to be raised by chad who was their real father the whole time) and especially the case in the 21st century makes me more confused. i thought i understood incel ideology but no one even mentioned this in this thread and i dont get it
 
im so confused by this. never once for any man in any time was it a good idea to attach yourself to a foid by making her your spouse and attaching yourself further by having kids. the latter perpetuates the fleeting and agonizing process of human experience for no reason and gives a person an unnecessary and pointless burden

the fact that this is especially the case for ugly men (whose foids are going to tell the chads of the village you raped her so they can murder you so the bitch can get sympathy, join chads harem, and allow her kids to be raised by chad who was their real father the whole time) and especially the case in the 21st century makes me more confused. i thought i understood incel ideology but no one even mentioned this in this thread and i dont get it
I used to think like that too. No, I still think like you actually. It's just that when you get older things change. Nothing really gives you pleasure or is fulfilling anymore. So wife and kids is pretty much the only thing one can do in life that gives it a sort of meaning.
 
I prefer to continue alone without friends but have money. An incel with normies is always the object of ridicule
 
I used to think like that too. No, I still think like you actually. It's just that when you get older things change. Nothing really gives you pleasure or is fulfilling anymore. So wife and kids is pretty much the only thing one can do in life that gives it a sort of meaning.
we feel like it gives it meaning which is why people continue to purposely reproduce and get into marriages that are obviously doomed to fail before they begin. but the feeling of meaning is an illusion just like anger or lust for a foid. following the feeling uncritically will never give you the satisfaction you're looking for and you'll be constantly disappointed continuing to find the ultimate cope of meaning that doesn't exist in reality unless you're enlightened which I have no idea how to do or to be high as fuck on serotonin. and even then something is just waiting to go wrong like your bitch cheats on you or poisons the kids against you or some shit. trying for an ltr with kids is risky but it could function like you expect but i doubt it'll make you feel what you're looking for. id rather not bother and kill myself now since i die at the end of the story anyway but if you decide to chance it just have some dynamite for your neck ready if everything implodes
 
It's pointless if you dont have a partner tbh, most people at that age already settled down with someone. Being 45 and single is a literal death sentence among those social circles.
Exactly. No amount of social circle coping can make up for the lack of a partner at that age.
 
Exactly. No amount of social circle coping can make up for the lack of a partner at that age.
Tbh

unless you want that social circle validation, there's no point in betacucking for a hole that disgusts you.
 
im extremely lucky that i have a social circle because my brothers included me with their friends when i was younger. but im still incel so...
 

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