how to summon weed man (step by step)
materials needed:
- salt
- knife (length isn't important, as long as it can kill a chicken reasonably well)
- a bottle of rum
- an open space, outside and far from any civilization
- a free night on april 20th
steps:
- gather your materials no less than 24 hours before the ritual
- drive, or use any mode of transportation available, to get to the summoning ground*
- make a symbol on the ground with the salt, the symbol should be in the shape of a cannabis leaf (you should know what they look like, if not you can just google it)
- make sure it is completely dark, no light should be cast upon your summoning ground except for the light of the moon (if the moon is out that particular night)**
- open your bottle of rum and baptize the chicken with it***
- wait 30 seconds
- get your knife and slice the throat of the chicken (what ever you do, do not behead the chicken)
- close you eyes
- chant "dude weed lmao" 3 times while tapping your heels together
- wait another 30 seconds
- open your eyes (do not open them before 30 seconds have elapsed)
at this point, weed man should be standing in front of you. don't ask outright for weed or else he will just ignore you and likely leave. don't worry, he can't hurt you, that was the entire point of making the salt leaf. he won't so much "talk" to you as much as telepathically communicate with you. he can read your thoughts, so be careful of what you're thinking, you might offend him and he may leave. it is important to be polite to weed man, don't say or think anything non-NT. after you have spoken with weed man, politely ask for a bag of weed. assuming you were NT enough, he will oblige you with a large bag of weed.
notes:
*unless it wasn't obvious, this ritual will only work on april 20th between the hours of 9pm and 11pm. also, plan your trip ahead of time.
**the darkness will make it difficult to see what you're doing, so i don't recommend trying this on a cloudy night or during a new moon
***if the chicken is panicking, or is resisting you, stop the ritual immediately and pour salt on yourself and the chicken. wait until sunrise before leaving the summoning ground.
it is also important to mention you will likely be teleported away from the summoning ground. locations vary, but most people report being teleported to southern alberta; reasons for this location in particular are unknown. don't worry, you won't be teleported somewhere crazy like the middle of the ocean or desert. all recorded instances of teleportation have occurred within at least 100 miles of civilization.
have fun and be safe