Serious How to accept that i'll always be a faliure?

[BlackPilledKira]

I'm only a few months away from graduation and it dawned on me that i'm faliure with no hope at a productive future. I spent 3 years in a place surrounded by people my age and i still somehow managed to not make a single friend. This pretty much confirms that i'll never be able to integrate into society since i completely lack the ability to connect with others which is extremley crucial in this world.

My parents did everything they could to help me and even supported my desperate attempts at looksmax surgeries, yet i'm just too broken both physically and mentally to fix at this point.

Today i literally broke down crying on the train and had to quickly leave and run to a park where i sat down and cried non stop at how much of a faliure i am.

Right now i don't know whether to kill myself and save my parents having to watch me become a collosal dissappointment or live and become a leech NEET that does nothing with his life.

 

[Deleted member 14490]

What surgeries did you have done and did they improve your looks? Do you go to a university or have studied some occupation?

 

[Cow Tipper]

Hi BlackPilledKira, you have a bright promising future, you are only a failure if you give up and believe you are a failure. DO NOT GIVE UP. You can improve your situation. You may have wasted some of your given opportunities however you will have many to come. Do not kill yourself. Suicide is cowardice. You can do many great things with your life. Ask what are your passions? do you want to really give up those? Your parents love you and imagine how much damage it will do to them if they find out you killed yourself. Also look to what about your personality is wrong because there might be some problem if you cant find a friend. We can all self improve so look to see what you can do better. If not maybe you were just sorrounded by assholes. Graduation marks a new milestone in your life, trust me life will get better for you. Get out there, meet people. Go to bars, clubs, cafes or whatever and start making friends and finding people with similar interests. You can do it I believe in you! You're not ugly and i beleive you can find the right girl to.

 

[BlackPilledKira]

What surgeries did you have done and did they improve your looks? Do you go to a university or have studied some occupation?

Gynecomastia, scar treatments and braces. My face is beyond help due to an absolute garbage eye area which can never be fixed.

I went to university and graduate with a software engineering degree, however i'm losing hope and might flunk this last semester since i don't see any point. The degree is paperweight, what matters most is connections and ability to communicate and connect which i never had since birth.

 

[Deleted member 14490]

Gynecomastia, scar treatments and braces. My face is beyond help due to an absolute garbage eye area which can never be fixed.

I went to university and graduate with a software engineering degree, however i'm losing hope and might flunk this last semester since i don't see any point. The degree is paperweight, what matters most is connections and ability to communicate and connect which i never had since birth.

CS degree is valuable man, you should at least be able to get an OK job. Is it a good school?

 

[BlackPilledKira]

CS degree is valuable man, you should at least be able to get an OK job. Is it a good school?

Maybe, but what the hell am i gonna do with a job anyway? Buy copes to distract myself from the miserable fact that i'll be alone and ugly my whole life? Go to work and deal with shitty people 8 hours a day? Watch everyone else move on to the next phase of their lives with wives and kids while i'm stuck at home playing vidya in my room?

If you can't connect with others then it never began, you're an empty shell drifting through life with no purpose. The only thing that might give me meaning now is motivated through anger and hatred to bring about suffering to others for making me a social outcast. In fact the only reason i chose CS was to learn methods on how to be a cyber criminal that can utilise security flaws to fuck up businesses and normie lives.

 

[bakadesu]

If u plan to rope atleast wait till your parents die

 

[Hoppipolla]

Thing is man... one step at a time. Get the degree. Any step upwards is better than no step at all and if you've come this far then it would be silly to not get the degree to show for it. You never know what the future might bring and having it at the very least can't hurt.

It's hard to make friends for many people. I'm an extrovert who did pretty well socially before uni, but at uni I only really made 2 proper friends. It's not easy.

At the very least on this forum you have found a community of people who are in similar situations to you. I used to travel around the country here in the UK to meet-ups of people on a forum I was on, so you'd be surprised at how even that can improve your life

 

[Life Wasted]

Our lives are nothing but a cruel joke. You know shit is bad when cockroaches and rats go on to live more fulfilling lives than you. Feels like this world is some alternate version of hell that we got sent to.

 

[Fontaine]

You even failed in spelling failure. Truly is over.

 

[IsolationHurts]

I spent 3 years in a place surrounded by people my age and i still somehow managed to not make a single friend. This pretty much confirms that i'll never be able to integrate into society since i completely lack the ability to connect with others which is extremley crucial in this world.

Can relate..... wasted 5 years of my life in college and i could not even get a fucking friend.

Today i literally broke down crying on the train and had to quickly leave and run to a park where i sat down and cried non stop at how much of a faliure i am.

This happened me all the time before definetly becoming a western hikikomori. I would have panic attacks when i could hear my flat mates having sex with random girls, watching younger people with a gf and making friends easily....
Anyway, the ITS OVER meme is not just a meme.... if you really know that you had a chance to become a normie, to scape subhumanity and you failed, the feeling is overwhelming, i know.... Knowing that you will never enjoy the full human experience, just a isolated and painful version of it... it could make anybody cry believe me.

The only thing that might give me meaning now is motivated through anger and hatred to bring about suffering to others for making me a social outcast. In fact the only reason i chose CS was to learn methods on how to be a cyber criminal that can utilise security flaws to fuck up businesses and normie lives.

Go for it
I wish i could fullfill my misanthropic desires, but i studied a completely useles degree, unlike you, so ill be a harmless incel my whole life probably.
Good luck OP. Whatever you do.