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Venting I absolutely despise existence

  • Thread starter Deleted member 8353
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Deleted member 8353

Deleted member 8353

Former Hikikomori, Aimless Pleasure Seeker
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May 29, 2018
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Every time I feel a slight amount of hope for the future suicidal depression comes in equal measure, seriously I often feel so bad that I end up punching myself over and over just attempting to make it stop. It's the desire for something, the need for experience, the goal of satisfying my will. It makes me remember that I'm a reject, a catastrophic failure of a man, and that I've been robbed of almost anything which could even possibly justify my own existence, at least from a purely hedonic standpoint.

However I'm eventually reminded of my resentment, of the pure rage I feel towards just about all of existence, but especially regarding the people who succeed in society, and hypocritically benefit from their predatory nature while commanding us to restrain our own. My waifu helps me focus all the pain directly at those who were cruel to me, and instead of desiring their happiness I'd much rather see it torn down, to see everything that they are, everything which they value be crushed into dust. It's liberating really, instead of playing their little game I can take pleasure in knowing that eventually, nobody will ever be playing it again. Just the thought of this planet eventually being devoid of life is comforting to me. Even though I'm unable to take revenge directly, the knowledge of human futility, of their mortality, it satisfies me to know that my bullies, that foids and high value males will lose eventually just as surely as I have.
 
The main issue of existence for me is having to deal with people. Why do so many people have to be such absolute fucking spastics?
 
My emotions work in a circle Hopelessness>Rage>Hope.
 
In the end, all roads lead to the same destination
 
Good post OP, I can tell you're a truecel. Fakecels will post about hating foids, rejection, loneliness, and "daily reminders" just to larp but only truecels post depressing shit like this. Actual, existential depression, existential futility. Only truecels reach the point where they realize that everything that exists is better off not existing. Only truecels are high IQ enough to abandon all hope and eagerly await for the misfortune of others their whole life until they rot or sui.
 
Good post OP, I can tell you're a truecel. Fakecels will post about hating foids, rejection, loneliness, and "daily reminders" just to larp but only truecels post depressing shit like this. Actual, existential depression, existential futility. Only truecels reach the point where they realize that everything that exists is better off not existing. Only truecels are high IQ enough to abandon all hope and eagerly await for the misfortune of others their whole life until they rot or sui.
 
Good post OP, I can tell you're a truecel. Fakecels will post about hating foids, rejection, loneliness, and "daily reminders" just to larp but only truecels post depressing shit like this. Actual, existential depression, existential futility. Only truecels reach the point where they realize that everything that exists is better off not existing. Only truecels are high IQ enough to abandon all hope and eagerly await for the misfortune of others their whole life until they rot or sui.
It's a comforting realization in a way, as I'm not particularly afraid of death anymore, other than potentially the process of dying, but that's not the same thing. Tbh at first I tried to convince normies through rational arguments, but eventually I just stopped trying, they're not interested in being honest with themselves about the reality of existence.
 
Every time I feel a slight amount of hope for the future suicidal depression comes in equal measure, seriously I often feel so bad that I end up punching myself over and over just attempting to make it stop. It's the desire for something, the need for experience, the goal of satisfying my will. It makes me remember that I'm a reject, a catastrophic failure of a man, and that I've been robbed of almost anything which could even possibly justify my own existence, at least from a purely hedonic standpoint.

However I'm eventually reminded of my resentment, of the pure rage I feel towards just about all of existence, but especially regarding the people who succeed in society, and hypocritically benefit from their predatory nature while commanding us to restrain our own. My waifu helps me focus all the pain directly at those who were cruel to me, and instead of desiring their happiness I'd much rather see it torn down, to see everything that they are, everything which they value be crushed into dust. It's liberating really, instead of playing their little game I can take pleasure in knowing that eventually, nobody will ever be playing it again. Just the thought of this planet eventually being devoid of life is comforting to me. Even though I'm unable to take revenge directly, the knowledge of human futility, of their mortality, it satisfies me to know that my bullies, that foids and high value males will lose eventually just as surely as I have.
I feel you. My biggest gripe with existence is that i have to be a wageslave and work 8-10h a day just to survive. Life could be somewhat tolerable without it.
 
Existence is pain, to live is to be a coward tbh.
 
the entire concept of life is one of the most retarded things tbh, u have literally no control over any major things in ur life, the entire concept of the space and the universe is pointless as fuck
 
However I'm eventually reminded of my resentment, of the pure rage I feel towards just about all of existence, but especially regarding the people who succeed in society, and hypocritically benefit from their predatory nature while commanding us to restrain our own.
I feel the whole post, and this i really feel
 

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