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Venting I can't tell if my Birthdays are becoming easier or harder to survive

  • Thread starter Deleted member 22685
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Deleted member 22685

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So the annual day of suffering has arrived the other day and as usual, the only people that gave a shit about bothering to congradulate it were my own parents(though frankly i wish they would stop too). This time however it was...different, i only cried a little bit as opposed to the usual hour of crying. Betwen this and the loss of empathy since the previous year, i think im slowly becoming soulless.
Im predicting that pretty soon il stop carring about anything at all and will just waddle around like a droid without any directions to follow. Or maybe this was just a one time thing, and if i find any hope that my bday will instantly crush it like a can and i will be feeling worse then ever before, guess il have to wait and see.
//Quick rant//
There are no words in the English language that would suffice to explain how much i hate people nowadays, i swear 3 times by Allah and the Judgement day that if i had the power to bring aliens or a similar calamity upon this planet, i would. This dumpster fire of a civilization deserves to have the floor mopped with it.
After all the shit i witnessed, not just on my own skin, but that happened to others aswell...i don't think we even have a chance at redemption.
//Rant over//
Having nobody give a fuck about you is a pretty hard way to live, not gonna lie :feelsbadman:
 
I count down the days that I have remaining until my next birthday day by day, the only way I can get motivation is by reminding myself that time is running out
 
I count down the days that I have remaining until my next birthday day by day, the only way I can get motivation is by reminding myself that time is running out
Damn, that's pretty masochistic isn't it?
 
Damn, that's pretty masochistic isn't it?
i hate looking at time in general, but its something i have to do out of necessity so i don't just ldar and do nothing, if i stop paying attention than the passage of time is going to come back to bite me eventually
 
i hate looking at time in general, but its something i have to do out of necessity so i don't just ldar and do nothing, if i stop paying attention than the passage of time is going to come back to bite me eventually
Oh i see, you're preparing yourself for the next day of misery basically. Yea i suppose it's better to endure that over a longer time then to have it all dogpile on you on a single day.
 
I know the exact same way you feel
When looking backwards you realize how pitiful your life has been in general and the fact that people are shit doesn't help
 
How old are you now also happy birthday :feelsautistic:
 
the fact that people are shit doesn't help
That really is the final nail in the coffin, when you reflect upon your experiences with people and see what kind of scum roams this planet. It's hard NOT to utterly lose faith honestly.
How old are you now also happy birthday :feelsautistic:
21 and don't do that please, it just makes me feel worse :feelsseriously:
 
At least you have parents that care. My Filipina mother hates me. My bio dad's dead. My white stepfather's way of saying happy birthday was giving me welts and bruises all over my body with a wrench.
 
At least you have parents that care. My Filipina mother hates me. My bio dad's dead. My white stepfather's way of saying happy birthday was giving me welts and bruises all over my body with a wrench.
Brutal
 
You have more self control than me

It's taking a lot of effort as we speak to not pull the plug. That said, he's physically hurting quite a bit. Accelerating to his death would be too merciful for him at this point. I want it to be slow and painful like it is rn while I sit back and make him hurt like how he made me hurt.
 
It's taking a lot of effort as we speak to not pull the plug. That said, he's physically hurting quite a bit. Accelerating to his death would be too merciful for him at this point. I want it to be slow and painful like it is rn while I sit back and make him hurt like how he made me hurt.
Fucking based :feelsthink:
 

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