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I don't actually want to die, far from it. I want out of this world into a better existence, but I don't want my existence to end.

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Deleted member 7448

Deleted member 7448

Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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For like 12 years now I've thought very often thought about how I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

But I actually don't want my existence to end. It's like I want to ... wake up and be elsewhere. I wake up and somebody tells me "hey you anon, you're finally awake. We've been watching over you and waiting for you for so long. Glad you're finally here with us, do you remember us? Quite the trip you've been on, you're home now." And I look around and it's basically heaven, and it's a trippy and wonderful existence where anything you want happens, and it's and epic and happy and great.

Of course, I'm an atheist so I'm sure when you're dead you're just worm food and your consciousness is kaput. So we need to make a comfy and nice life for ourselves boys, here and now cause there's no other world or life. Though my anhedonic pos brain seems to not like anything, always anxious and unhappy.
 
take psychedelics
 
Ending your "existence" is permanent, I don't want to suicide either because of this, you'll not live again forever, and I don't want to end it, I know that our "existence" is not even real, but still, I want to live, at least I'm comfy.
 
take psychedelics
I'd do it every day if I could. But I can't ever do that, shithole country with strict laws, but more importantly, shit wages so doing it once would be like a good chunk of one's monthly salary and that's just not something you can spend on a consumable.
Ending your "existence" is permanent, I don't want to suicide either because of this, you'll not live again forever, and I don't want to end it, I know that our "existence" is not even real, but still, I want to live, at least I'm comfy.
Exactly. I really want happiness but it's such a hard thing to get even for normal people, and I happen to be far from normal, seemingly miserable and unhappy perennially and sometimes even for no reason.
 
I'd do it every day if I could. But I can't ever do that, shithole country with strict laws, but more importantly, shit wages so doing it once would be like a good chunk of one's monthly salary and that's just not something you can spend on a consumable.
Maybe try going mushroom hunting or growin your own
 
I wish an alien would abduct me and give me a new Giga-Chad body so I can restart life properly this time.
 
It's like I want to ... wake up and be elsewhere. I wake up and somebody tells me "hey you anon, you're finally awake. We've been watching over you and waiting for you for so long. Glad you're finally here with us, do you remember us? Quite the trip you've been on, you're home now." And I look around and it's basically heaven, and it's a trippy and wonderful existence where anything you want happens, and it's and epic and happy and great.
I used to have fantasies and daydreams about a group of people that one day will find me and reveal that they are my real friends, taking me away from my shitty existence and introducing me a to a better, normal world, where I'm just like a regular person with friends, love, validation and support.
 
I wanna go to nagyala
 
TL;DR: hateful inkwel wants to die without dying :soy::soy::soy:
 
Same OP.

It’d be great if this whole existence were just some kind of rotten nightmare or Total Recall movie (the superior original movie version) experience and one day we wake up and it’s all over and we find ourselves in giga Chad bodies in a paradise type environment with hot bitches all around who can’t wait to taste our nut/fondle our balls, etc, etc.

Also everyone there would be genuinely interesting and a worthwhile, trustworthy and loyal human being to be friends with if you like whether male or female.
 
I just want to feel excited about something. Everything is so boring.
 
For like 12 years now I've thought very often thought about how I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

But I actually don't want my existence to end. It's like I want to ... wake up and be elsewhere. I wake up and somebody tells me "hey you anon, you're finally awake. We've been watching over you and waiting for you for so long. Glad you're finally here with us, do you remember us? Quite the trip you've been on, you're home now." And I look around and it's basically heaven, and it's a trippy and wonderful existence where anything you want happens, and it's and epic and happy and great.

Of course, I'm an atheist so I'm sure when you're dead you're just worm food and your consciousness is kaput. So we need to make a comfy and nice life for ourselves boys, here and now cause there's no other world or life. Though my anhedonic pos brain seems to not like anything, always anxious and unhappy.
no solution to the inner problem you're describing. give up and blow up (your brainstem)
 
I wish all this was just a nightmare
 
For like 12 years now I've thought very often thought about how I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

But I actually don't want my existence to end. It's like I want to ... wake up and be elsewhere. I wake up and somebody tells me "hey you anon, you're finally awake. We've been watching over you and waiting for you for so long. Glad you're finally here with us, do you remember us? Quite the trip you've been on, you're home now." And I look around and it's basically heaven, and it's a trippy and wonderful existence where anything you want happens, and it's and epic and happy and great.

Of course, I'm an atheist so I'm sure when you're dead you're just worm food and your consciousness is kaput. So we need to make a comfy and nice life for ourselves boys, here and now cause there's no other world or life. Though my anhedonic pos brain seems to not like anything, always anxious and unhappy.
Agreed I hear you mate, I hear you.
 
Im sorry i just indetify with this thread so bad
 

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