Indian parents are the fucking worst, but my autistic naivety led me to confide and trust them with personal matters I shouldn't have. I find this experience to be truly cringey and humilating and I am sure you'd agree with me.
One day when I was 13, and I was on the internet, I remembered the name of an adult site one of the kids had mentioned, tempted by curiosity I decided to explore it. I entered the url into the address bar and there it was. I had never seen pornography and I felt extremely strange, in some ways I felt traumatized by it like I wasn't emotionally ready. I was afraid that something bad would happen, I immediately deleted it from the history, to hide it from my parents, but the thoughts and emotions lingered. I could have simply called it a day but I decided to do something extraordinarily dumb.
I was fearful for some reason, I felt a little guilty too, perhaps I was hoping they'd help me make sense of my emotions. I decided to confess to them about it, to make the feelings go away. Naturally I got belted hard by my father and I let it happen because I thought maybe I deserved the punishment. After the incident I was treated terribly by them and made to feel like a unnatural pervert for weeks or months, for having normal heterosexual urges at the right age, though they eventually forgot about it.
They also installed child lock on the computer, in the beginning, I thought perhaps this was for the best. It was a complicated time I had some of my strongest crushes on girls in my class, but I could never express it, because of this and my low social status. But I discovered the joys of masturbation without porn while in my room and over time I came to disregard the idea of it being wrong.
A year later, I figured out a way to overcome the child-lock by tricking it and it was thrilling to watch porn while hiding it from my parents, there were numerous times I almost got caught, but I was extremely sneaky. They did nothing about it when they found out, many years later.
One day when I was 13, and I was on the internet, I remembered the name of an adult site one of the kids had mentioned, tempted by curiosity I decided to explore it. I entered the url into the address bar and there it was. I had never seen pornography and I felt extremely strange, in some ways I felt traumatized by it like I wasn't emotionally ready. I was afraid that something bad would happen, I immediately deleted it from the history, to hide it from my parents, but the thoughts and emotions lingered. I could have simply called it a day but I decided to do something extraordinarily dumb.
I was fearful for some reason, I felt a little guilty too, perhaps I was hoping they'd help me make sense of my emotions. I decided to confess to them about it, to make the feelings go away. Naturally I got belted hard by my father and I let it happen because I thought maybe I deserved the punishment. After the incident I was treated terribly by them and made to feel like a unnatural pervert for weeks or months, for having normal heterosexual urges at the right age, though they eventually forgot about it.
They also installed child lock on the computer, in the beginning, I thought perhaps this was for the best. It was a complicated time I had some of my strongest crushes on girls in my class, but I could never express it, because of this and my low social status. But I discovered the joys of masturbation without porn while in my room and over time I came to disregard the idea of it being wrong.
A year later, I figured out a way to overcome the child-lock by tricking it and it was thrilling to watch porn while hiding it from my parents, there were numerous times I almost got caught, but I was extremely sneaky. They did nothing about it when they found out, many years later.
Last edited:
