I regret everything

[Deleted member 27249]

I've wasted my life... I am 26 years old. 4 years ago, If you asked me where I'd be by the time I'm 26 I would have told you "Dead". And 11 years ago if you had asked me that I would have told you "a doctor". I'm too much of a coward to even ever end the misery it seems. Lately I've been having more and more of these thoughts of what I could have been. I was kinda a cute kid. I was definitely smart. What if I actually grew up to be tall? My brothers are tall, why wouldn't I have been? It doesn't make sense. What if my chin grew properly? what If I dealt with this acne early on?

What if I was never bullied in school and actually managed to finish and get my degree. I could have been an engineer. Instead I am in retail and have to see couples shopping together every fucking day, piercing stares and giggles all around me.

I can not take care of myself anymore. I am decaying with every week that passes. Once I'm home I can't get out of bed. I can't get out of bed to go eat. I can't get out of bed to go drink water. One time I couldn't even care enough to get out of bed to pee. I am disgusting. I haven't brushed my teeth in months. My posture is getting more hunched every day making me shorter. I am greasy and disgusting. I can't stand light anymore. I never even turn on the light in my room. It's just the light of my laptop that I see with.

 

[ThoughtfulCel]

View: https://youtu.be/illmRq0PATk

 

[Jungle]

time goes too fast

 

[LittleDarkAge]

It is better to be dead than to live in regret

 

[Deleted member 26242]

I'm sorry you go through this brothercel. The blackpill can break you in ways you don't even imagine. I once thought I could accomplish many things, not even as far as dating, but bettering my life as a whole. But as you grow older, you start to realize, youll never become any of things you thought you could grow up to be as a kid or teenager. You're just another slave wager working for the benefit of the rich and powerful.

 

[Deleted member 23813]

I've wasted my life... I am 26 years old. 4 years ago, If you asked me where I'd be by the time I'm 26 I would have told you "Dead". And 11 years ago if you had asked me that I would have told you "a doctor". I'm too much of a coward to even ever end the misery it seems. Lately I've been having more and more of these thoughts of what I could have been. I was kinda a cute kid. I was definitely smart. What if I actually grew up to be tall? My brothers are tall, why wouldn't I have been? It doesn't make sense.

Holy shit. Are you the future version of me? . Everything you've listed is pretty much me. I thought I was destined for greatness, to have a great job, be tall and good looking. Man I wish I knew this would be my fate. Idk if I'd do anything different if I knew it was over sooner but I probably wouldn't have wasted 4 years of my life on my worthless degree. I'm too far into it that I have to finish, since I graduate this spring. I have no sense of direction though and zero connections so your future looks like it's going to quickly become mine

 

[Deleted member 27249]

I got a degree and now I'm neet and can't find a job, not even shitty entry level ones, so really you can do all that and end up nowhere. Gotta have at least 1 year of experience just to glue shit together now.

It's all about having connections to set you up with a job. Even my current job I got through a friend of my dad. There's no such thing as building yourself up

Holy shit. Are you the future version of me? . Everything you've listed is pretty much me. I thought I was destined for greatness, to have a great job, be tall and good looking. Man I wish I knew this would be my fate. Idk if I'd do anything different if I knew it was over sooner but I probably wouldn't have wasted 4 years of my life on my worthless degree. I'm too far into it that I have to finish, since I graduate this spring. I have no sense of direction though and zero connections so your future looks like it's going to quickly become mine

At least you got a degree. That's very important part of status these days.

 

[anon2719]

I feel the same way brocel

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

I'm 26, too. I've done nothing with my life. Dropped out of high school at 15. Neet for 11 years.

 

[Deleted member 23634]

welcome to the club my bro

 

[Incline]

I got a degree and now I'm neet and can't find a job, not even shitty entry level ones, so really you can do all that and end up nowhere. Gotta have at least 1 year of experience just to glue shit together now.

qt new avi

I've wasted my life... I am 26 years old. 4 years ago, If you asked me where I'd be by the time I'm 26 I would have told you "Dead". And 11 years ago if you had asked me that I would have told you "a doctor". I'm too much of a coward to even ever end the misery it seems. Lately I've been having more and more of these thoughts of what I could have been. I was kinda a cute kid. I was definitely smart. What if I actually grew up to be tall? My brothers are tall, why wouldn't I have been? It doesn't make sense. What if my chin grew properly? what If I dealt with this acne early on?

What if I was never bullied in school and actually managed to finish and get my degree. I could have been an engineer. Instead I am in retail and have to see couples shopping together every fucking day, piercing stares and giggles all around me.

I can not take care of myself anymore. I am decaying with every week that passes. Once I'm home I can't get out of bed. I can't get out of bed to go eat. I can't get out of bed to go drink water. One time I couldn't even care enough to get out of bed to pee. I am disgusting. I haven't brushed my teeth in months. My posture is getting more hunched every day making me shorter. I am greasy and disgusting. I can't stand light anymore. I never even turn on the light in my room. It's just the light of my laptop that I see with.

Yeah I'm kinda in the same spot. Shock therapy is the only thing that will even remotely have any effect at this point. Consider ditching your current life and doing a 1 year flash course on a language of your choice then get a visa fuck knows where. You seem to be a native English speaker so that won't be much of a problem for you since English schools all around the world hire without much of a hassle. Pick a location and gtfo there for a few years. Mark your life in stages and never surrender more than 3 years to any stage of your life or you won't get out.

Ironically it will be much easier to assimilate in foreign culture since you'll be considered an outsider regardless of your social standing unlike in your current location where you're an outsider precisely because of your social standing.

It's fucking over but it's not over yet. 26 you still got at least 4 more years before your life will start decaying. Then rope at 40 and call it a day after fucking thai hookers all day on ur 40s birthday. Sounds like a grand plan to me. 3 years 1 stage max. Never tie yourself down for any longer or it's over.

I don't know what to say really not like I know the answer since I'm just as fucked up as you are. But I guess it's worth a shot.

 

[incelerated]

Don't do that to yourself. It's a vicious downward spiral. Either actually rope or improve your life. This limbo state will fuck you up more week by week as you've noticed yourself.

 

[Jungle]

It is better to be dead than to live in regret

true

 

[Deleted member 10124]

I've wasted my life... I am 26 years old. 4 years ago, If you asked me where I'd be by the time I'm 26 I would have told you "Dead". And 11 years ago if you had asked me that I would have told you "a doctor". I'm too much of a coward to even ever end the misery it seems. Lately I've been having more and more of these thoughts of what I could have been. I was kinda a cute kid. I was definitely smart. What if I actually grew up to be tall? My brothers are tall, why wouldn't I have been? It doesn't make sense. What if my chin grew properly? what If I dealt with this acne early on?

What if I was never bullied in school and actually managed to finish and get my degree. I could have been an engineer. Instead I am in retail and have to see couples shopping together every fucking day, piercing stares and giggles all around me.

I can not take care of myself anymore. I am decaying with every week that passes. Once I'm home I can't get out of bed. I can't get out of bed to go eat. I can't get out of bed to go drink water. One time I couldn't even care enough to get out of bed to pee. I am disgusting. I haven't brushed my teeth in months. My posture is getting more hunched every day making me shorter. I am greasy and disgusting. I can't stand light anymore. I never even turn on the light in my room. It's just the light of my laptop that I see with.

Same bro. However with the digitisation of education & evening- weekend colleges/ universities you maybe able to go back and finish? That's what I'm doing at least.

 

[Deleted member 27249]

Same bro. However with the digitisation of education & evening- weekend colleges/ universities you maybe able to go back and finish? That's what I'm doing at least.

Don't have anyone supporting me

 

[Deleted member 10124]

Don't do that to yourself. It's a vicious downward spiral. Either actually rope or improve your life. This limbo state will fuck you up more week by week as you've noticed yourself.

I got a degree and now I'm neet and can't find a job, not even shitty entry level ones, so really you can do all that and end up nowhere. Gotta have at least 1 year of experience just to glue shit together now.

What degree if you don't mind me asking?

 

[WizardofSoda]

I've wasted my life... I am 26 years old. 4 years ago, If you asked me where I'd be by the time I'm 26 I would have told you "Dead". And 11 years ago if you had asked me that I would have told you "a doctor". I'm too much of a coward to even ever end the misery it seems. Lately I've been having more and more of these thoughts of what I could have been. I was kinda a cute kid. I was definitely smart. What if I actually grew up to be tall? My brothers are tall, why wouldn't I have been? It doesn't make sense. What if my chin grew properly? what If I dealt with this acne early on?

What if I was never bullied in school and actually managed to finish and get my degree. I could have been an engineer. Instead I am in retail and have to see couples shopping together every fucking day, piercing stares and giggles all around me.

I can not take care of myself anymore. I am decaying with every week that passes. Once I'm home I can't get out of bed. I can't get out of bed to go eat. I can't get out of bed to go drink water. One time I couldn't even care enough to get out of bed to pee. I am disgusting. I haven't brushed my teeth in months. My posture is getting more hunched every day making me shorter. I am greasy and disgusting. I can't stand light anymore. I never even turn on the light in my room. It's just the light of my laptop that I see with.

With our inferior genetics we don't grow to our full size. And something like engineering school takes huge energy.. something a body struggling with health problems from bad genetics, can't produce that much energy.

I spent many years just coming back from work, then going to bed. Then sleeping all the way to the morning and doing it again. With only a 1-2 hour break I would get up and go on the computer and read.

On weekends I'd spend 18 hours+ a day sleeping.

 

[VindalooCell]

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

time goes too fast

Not if you do psychadelics.

 

[Jungle]

Not if you do psychadelics.

true, but psychedelics only dilate time as well as weed while youre on them

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

true, but psychedelics only dilate time as well as weed while youre on them

People claim they've spent thousands of years in experiences like using dmt.

 

[Jungle]

People claim they've spent thousands of years in experiences like using dmt.

that is what it feels like, but the experience in of itself lasts no more than 15 mins

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

that is what it feels like, but the experience in of itself lasts no more than 15 mins

Imagine how many years you could rack up in your lifetime.

 

[Incline]

that is what it feels like, but the experience in of itself lasts no more than 15 mins

DMT is on my bucket list before I go.

 

[Jungle]

Imagine how many years you could rack up in your lifetime.

true, whenever i smoke 10 mins feels like 30, and on 4-aco-dmt, lsd, and dxm time drags like a mf

never done dmt though, dont no where to source it other than the dnms

DMT is on my bucket list before I go.

same

 

[Tenshi]

that hits too close to home bro, I'm very sorry. Wish I could say something more positive things to you but life is a miserable experience for many of us humans.

You can't do anything about the past and the future has nothing but sadness, but perhaps you can do something about your present. You see, as much miserable as you were in the past, you still wanted to go back and change things, even if they didn't do much for your future.

In the future, you most likely will feel this way about today. So who knows? If you ain't roping, you mighty as well give life a try, not like you have much to lose at this point.

 

[Deleted member 10124]

A STEM one, I wont say which specifically incase.

Smart bastard. Respect Homie.

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

true, whenever i smoke 10 mins feels like 30, and on 4-aco-dmt, lsd, and dxm time drags like a mf

never done dmt though, dont no where to source it other than the dnms

same

the stronger the dose, the more time will dialate.

 

[Jungle]

the stronger the dose, the more time will dialate.

it has a stopping point ime

 

[Urekkim]

That is fucking brutal. I too regret things so fucking much. I failed College/Uni 2 times, so I got 1 last attempt or I can never get a degree. And it was before I knew about Inceldom, so it was basically in my genes to be lazy af.

 

[Eschewcel]

I don't regret anything because this is how it was supposed to happen. I blame my parents for being blind to what was happening to me in high school.
Everything happens for a reason.

The only thing I regret right now is not having killed myself when I saw all that shit coming.

People claim they've spent thousands of years in experiences like using dmt.

Quite interesting.

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

it has a stopping point ime

True, but at some point you will have spent most of your life in that dimension and the human experience without it will seem insignificant.

 

[Jungle]

True, but at some point you will have spent most of your life in that dimension and the human experience without it will seem insignificant.

While you’re tripping, it feels like an eternity

Kinda why I’m not an atheist anymore, as well as actually feeling like I got punished by God for it .