[NSFW] If u suck your own dick while you turn 18, it is considered illegal due to gravitational time dilation?

WØLF

WØLF

I CAN'T BREED
★★★★★
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Posts
12,002
Online
55d 7h 45m
NSFW?? Ok hear me out. Due to gravitation time dilation, your upper body is technically older then your lower body due to Gravitational Time Dilation. Gravitational Time Dilation the effect gravity has on time. The lower the gravitational potential, the faster time is. Knowing this, because your dick has more gravitational potential then your head, your head is older then your dick (by like less then a millionth of a nanosecond but that doesn’t matter). So if you were sucking your own dick while you turned 18, your head would age first. This means your 18 year old head would be sucking you 17 year old dick. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk
 
Copexodius Maximus

Copexodius Maximus

Captain
★★★★★
Joined
Jul 21, 2020
Posts
1,602
Online
6d 12h 44m
This is the greatest post I have ever read in my life.
But most places have a 2-4 year or more age gap that can be applied, so you are good anyways.
 
LiterallyASoyboy

LiterallyASoyboy

King of Virgins, Lord of LDAR
★★★★★
Joined
May 29, 2018
Posts
9,126
Online
54d 12h 56m
It's still sucking your own dick though jfl.
 
WØLF

WØLF

I CAN'T BREED
★★★★★
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Posts
12,002
Online
55d 7h 45m
This is the greatest post I have ever read in my life.
But most places have a 2-4 year or more age gap that can be applied, so you are good anyways.
Finally a fellow Mensa IQcel
It's still sucking your own dick though jfl.
Even though your dick is closer to the center of the Earth which means it should be younger then your head, there is another factor we must bring into this theory and that is velocity time dilation. This is the slowing down of time that is causes by a high velocity. According to Kepler's Second Law: The orbital radius and angular velocity of the planet in the elliptical orbit will vary. This is shown in the animation: the planet travels faster when closer to the Sun, then slower when farther from the Sun. Kepler's second law states that the blue sector has constant area. Using this knowledge we know our head is moving faster around the Earth than our dick because it has to travel around the Earth at the same speed as our dick but our head is further from the center of the Earth. Using common sense you would know this means that our head is going to finish one complete revolution in 24 hours, the same as a dick, but it will cover more area. Using the equation v=deltaX/t, we can conclude our head is going faster then our dick. With this knowledge we can now determine that velocity time dilation does in fact clash with gravitational time dilation, which will end up canceling out the 2 dilation thingies. This means it is safe to suck your own dick when you durn 18.
 
Last edited:
Lookscel

Lookscel

Better to die an incel than live like a cuck
★★★★★
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Posts
11,611
Online
106d 18h 14m
High IQ post
images - 2020-08-01T140210.257.jpg
 
BrazilianSigmasDad

BrazilianSigmasDad

mentally crippled by lonely teen years
★★★
Joined
May 20, 2020
Posts
4,227
Online
16d 23h 31m
Copexodius Maximus

Copexodius Maximus

Captain
★★★★★
Joined
Jul 21, 2020
Posts
1,602
Online
6d 12h 44m
Finally a fellow Mensa IQcel

Even though your dick is closer to the center of the Earth which means it should be younger then your head, there is another factor we must bring into this theory and that is velocity time dilation. This is the slowing down of time that is causes by a high velocity. According to Kepler's Second Law: The orbital radius and angular velocity of the planet in the elliptical orbit will vary. This is shown in the animation: the planet travels faster when closer to the Sun, then slower when farther from the Sun. Kepler's second law states that the blue sector has constant area. Using this knowledge we know our head is moving faster around the Earth than our dick because it has to travel around the Earth at the same speed as our dick but our head is further from the center of the Earth. Using common sense you would know this means that our head is going to finish one complete revolution in 24 hours, the same as a dick, but it will cover more area. Using the equation v=deltaX/t, we can conclude our head is going faster then our dick. With this knowledge we can now determine that velocity time dilation does in fact clash with gravitational time dilation, which will end up canceling out the 2 dilation thingies. This means it is safe to suck your own dick when you durn 18.
I think the time dilation by gravity more than makes up for this, as atomic clocks in satellites are faster than on earth (if I remember correctly).
 
schrodingercoper

schrodingercoper

Working to become a van drivER
★★★★★
Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Posts
7,300
Online
38d 10h 8m
@mental_out is this true?
 
WØLF

WØLF

I CAN'T BREED
★★★★★
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Posts
12,002
Online
55d 7h 45m
I think the time dilation by gravity more than makes up for this, as atomic clocks in satellites are faster than on earth (if I remember correctly).
Your head may be travelling faster, yes, so (in some appropriate reference frame, say one where Earth has only rotational motion), bringing time dilation due to speed into things - and it is rotational motion, so actually there is also acceleration present and thereby we need general relativity to work out what the dilation effects are. This also depends a lot on your latitude - the difference in speeds is much smaller if you are far from the equator.

But actually this doesn't matter, because these effects turn out to be negligible compared to the gravitational time dilation, iirc

And gravitational time dilation means that the part of you in the stronger field ages more slowly, ie that your lower half is younger than your head.

Tl:dr actually it's probably correct
 
Cowcel

Cowcel

moo into the void
★★★★★
Joined
May 6, 2020
Posts
6,108
Online
23d 15h 27m
Are you in MENSA?
 
WØLF

WØLF

I CAN'T BREED
★★★★★
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Posts
12,002
Online
55d 7h 45m
Are you in MENSA?
Indubitably. @MENSA_IQcel can back me up on this as well. Him and I have been working long, exhausting hours on the subject at hand.
 
Jazavac

Jazavac

Localized celibacy
★★★★★
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Posts
13,367
Online
51d 19h 56m
Nah, a 2 year gap is acceptable by law.
 
AAAAAAAAAAAcel

AAAAAAAAAAAcel

Theorizer
★★★★★
Joined
Sep 30, 2019
Posts
8,390
Online
45d 3h 16m
that's gay anyway
 
HyperVersager_4EVER

HyperVersager_4EVER

Mentally crippled by lonely coomer years
Joined
Nov 4, 2019
Posts
2,534
Online
31d 7h 37m
Unfathomably high IQ thread
High_Iq.jpg
 
NuclearCel

NuclearCel

From The Deepest, Darkest, Ominous Blackpill Pit
★★★★★
Joined
May 26, 2020
Posts
1,461
Online
14d 21h 6m
NSFW?? Ok hear me out. Due to gravitation time dilation, your upper body is technically older then your lower body due to Gravitational Time Dilation. Gravitational Time Dilation the effect gravity has on time. The lower the gravitational potential, the faster time is. Knowing this, because your dick has more gravitational potential then your head, your head is older then your dick (by like less then a millionth of a nanosecond but that doesn’t matter). So if you were sucking your own dick while you turned 18, your head would age first. This means your 18 year old head would be sucking you 17 year old dick. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk
I dont think time dialation or its effects applies here. Maybe try sucking your dick near a blackhole. You must be close to the event horizon to witness this phenomenon for the maximum effect. You wont really be able to feel it either, but an observer outside the vicinity of the blackholes gravitational pull will be able to validate the effects of time dialation because what would seem like minutes of sucking your dick for you, will be years for him. [The time ratio used for comparing targets time and observers time within this example is hypothetical].
 
WØLF

WØLF

I CAN'T BREED
★★★★★
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Posts
12,002
Online
55d 7h 45m
I dont think time dialation or its effects applies here. Maybe try sucking your dick near a blackhole. You must be close to the event horizon to witness this phenomenon for the maximum effect. You wont really be able to feel it either, but an observer outside the vicinity of the blackholes gravitational pull will be able to validate the effects of time dialation because what would seem like minutes of sucking your dick for you, will be years for him. [The time ratio used for comparing targets time and observers time within this example is hypothetical].
Holy IQ
 
Idotms

Idotms

U wouldn't get it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
★★
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Posts
5,142
Online
19d 20h 6m
interesting
 
ihaveno1

ihaveno1

Obscure
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 11, 2018
Posts
35,435
Online
69d 17h 24m
wow never thought about this before
 
Caesercel

Caesercel

Commander
★★★★★
Joined
Jun 14, 2020
Posts
3,420
Online
28d 15h 42m
Its simply really. Your head will have to lower its gravitational potential to reach your dick. This is acceleration via force. Acceleration will change your head's frame of reference in space time. And the deacceleration achieved when your head stops to reach your dick will readjust the frame to that of your dick. Hence your head and dick would have aged similarly in the end.
 
BurntNegroid_Cel077

BurntNegroid_Cel077

Over 4 African-cels my bruddahs
Joined
Jan 2, 2020
Posts
532
Online
6d 22h 26m
This is what .co was created for
 
Joelossus

Joelossus

high T af, and a psychopath
★★★★★
Joined
Mar 25, 2019
Posts
10,737
Online
36d 9h 32m
I think @knajjd once said that he can suck his own dick. Not sure if it's true or not, tho.
 
SadLonelySingle

SadLonelySingle

Call me human, Mr. Subhuman.
★★★★★
Joined
Apr 30, 2020
Posts
4,998
Online
41d 32m
It's considered retarded.
 
Top