I used to be a pretty smart kid with lots of friends. I've always been an aspie, but it didn't really stop me from doing anything. I learned how to read and talk in complete sentences by the time I was a year old, started using the Internet when I was two to three, and had a college reading comprehension level by the time I was in elementary school. I also had an IQ of 146. I nearly skipped a grade a couple times, but it didn't go through, due the fact that some of my teachers thought that my social skills were too "abnormal" for me to skip.
I was well liked, top of the class, and highly advanced in most subjects. I always threw big birthday parties and I was always invited to other people's big birthday parties. Until I was 10 and I moved to a different school, which was also around the time I hit puberty.
I acted the same like I always did at the old school (where everyone liked me), tried to make friends, and nope. People would literally just tell me to fuck off and go away. In middle school, I only made friends with a thug and another guy and that was fun while it lasted, until he went to jail. Most I did was spraypainting people's fences and we pulled down the fire alarm in 8th grade.
But I also noticed that as soon as I became friendless and ostracized, my grades dropped hard. I also started to develop problems with concentrating and remembering, which I still struggle with. My dreams of going to an Ivy League diminished, as I knew on this path I wouldn't be able to be accepted.
I graduated with a 2.8 GPA in high school compared to the constant 90s and 100s I had until 5th grade (mostly 100s). Now my GPA is low (1.9) and I feel like I'm accomplishing nothing, along with the fact that I have no motivation to do anything anyways. I'm genuinely scared I'm going to fail out of college, as I was already put on academic probation last semester. I already have a couple 50s and 60s and the semester just started. I'm going to be sent straight to the streets if I fail out.
All I feel is hate and complete and utter resentment towards foids, as I feel they were the main motivators for my bullies to bully me back in middle school, along with being the motivators for people to ostracize me and treat me like shit whenever they came into contact with me in high school. My bullies were getting blowjobs in the bathroom in 8th grade while I was collecting TF2 hats and rotting in my room after school. My only two emotions consist of being sad and being angry. Of couse, I'm Dr. Jekyll in real life. Foids are nice enough to me, but they feel absolute hatred when I seem interested in them.
I was well liked, top of the class, and highly advanced in most subjects. I always threw big birthday parties and I was always invited to other people's big birthday parties. Until I was 10 and I moved to a different school, which was also around the time I hit puberty.
I acted the same like I always did at the old school (where everyone liked me), tried to make friends, and nope. People would literally just tell me to fuck off and go away. In middle school, I only made friends with a thug and another guy and that was fun while it lasted, until he went to jail. Most I did was spraypainting people's fences and we pulled down the fire alarm in 8th grade.
But I also noticed that as soon as I became friendless and ostracized, my grades dropped hard. I also started to develop problems with concentrating and remembering, which I still struggle with. My dreams of going to an Ivy League diminished, as I knew on this path I wouldn't be able to be accepted.
I graduated with a 2.8 GPA in high school compared to the constant 90s and 100s I had until 5th grade (mostly 100s). Now my GPA is low (1.9) and I feel like I'm accomplishing nothing, along with the fact that I have no motivation to do anything anyways. I'm genuinely scared I'm going to fail out of college, as I was already put on academic probation last semester. I already have a couple 50s and 60s and the semester just started. I'm going to be sent straight to the streets if I fail out.
All I feel is hate and complete and utter resentment towards foids, as I feel they were the main motivators for my bullies to bully me back in middle school, along with being the motivators for people to ostracize me and treat me like shit whenever they came into contact with me in high school. My bullies were getting blowjobs in the bathroom in 8th grade while I was collecting TF2 hats and rotting in my room after school. My only two emotions consist of being sad and being angry. Of couse, I'm Dr. Jekyll in real life. Foids are nice enough to me, but they feel absolute hatred when I seem interested in them.
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