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Venting Inceldom and being treated like a subhuman in general is driving me insane I think

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Deleted member 11159

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I need to vent.

Every second of my life is filled with stress and anxiety. I can't go out of my house unless I look "perfect". I spend minutes, sometimes hours just staring in a mirror before I go outside, even if it's just to a shop. When I am anywhere outside my house, I feel like every single person is observing me, mocking me. It's like I am walking around naked. I overthink everything I do. The way i'm walking, what i'm wearing. I imagine everyone pointing at me and discussing how weird I am. The only place I can escape this are forests and abandoned places where no one else is around. That's why I love spending hours in such places. Anywhere else, it feels like everyone is out to get me.

I also don't know what I look like. Every time I see my reflection I see something different. I always look ugly but some days I can actually identify myself in the mirror and see human-like features but other days it's like i'm looking at a blank page. I look away and I forget what I look like. On those days I have no motivation to do anything. I just sit in my bed all day, wondering why I was born.

Does anyone else have this?
 
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Yes definitely. I fear going outside because I think I’m going to be judged for my shit looks and stared out/laughed at. It’s hell. I would love to just escape to the forest or countryside so I don’t have to deal with people anymore.
 
On days where I have to go out in public or worse made fun of by strangers all my energy is drained and I have no option but to lay in bed and rot cuz I lose all my energy n motivation n all dat when that happens

Also the stuff u sayin about how u look different in the mirror I also get that
 
While I was psychotic I convinced myself that my parents were a Polish Jew and an intelligence agent and I tried to kill the former. Then I believed the hospital would kill me. In a sense, it did, I'm on three meds rn and they told me it's permanent.
 
While I was psychotic I convinced myself that my parents were a Polish Jew and an intelligence agent and I tried to kill the former. Then I believed the hospital would kill me. In a sense, it did, I'm on three meds rn and they told me it's permanent.
Over for schizocels
 
I also don't know what I look like. Every time I see my reflection I see something different. I always look ugly but some days I can actually identify myself in the mirror and see human-like features but other days it's like i'm looking at a blank page. I look away and I forget what I look like. On those days I have no motivation to do anything. I just sit in my bed all day, wondering why I was born.
Mogs me, tbh. I always know what I look like and it's a horror show. I wish it at least varied a bit, that would be major lifefuel. Schizo derealization trait btw.
 
Overthinking and thinking everyone nearby is watching, laughing or talking about you is a classic incel trait.
 
I need to vent.

Every second of my life is filled with stress and anxiety. I can't go out of my house unless I look "perfect". I spend minutes, sometimes hours just staring in a mirror before I go outside, even if it's just to a shop. When I am anywhere outside my house, I feel like every single person is observing me, mocking me. It's like I am walking around naked. I overthink everything I do. The way i'm walking, what i'm wearing. I imagine everyone pointing at me and discussing how weird I am. The only place I can escape this are forests and abandoned places where no one else is around. That's why I love spending hours in such places. Anywhere else, it feels like everyone is out to get me.

I also don't know what I look like. Every time I see my reflection I see something different. I always look ugly but some days I can actually identify myself in the mirror and see human-like features but other days it's like i'm looking at a blank page. I look away and I forget what I look like. On those days I have no motivation to do anything. I just sit in my bed all day, wondering why I was born.

Does anyone else have this?
Feel the exact same bro
 
you cant look perfect if your ugly
I need to vent.

Every second of my life is filled with stress and anxiety. I can't go out of my house unless I look "perfect". I spend minutes, sometimes hours just staring in a mirror before I go outside, even if it's just to a shop. When I am anywhere outside my house, I feel like every single person is observing me, mocking me. It's like I am walking around naked. I overthink everything I do. The way i'm walking, what i'm wearing. I imagine everyone pointing at me and discussing how weird I am. The only place I can escape this are forests and abandoned places where no one else is around. That's why I love spending hours in such places. Anywhere else, it feels like everyone is out to get me.

I also don't know what I look like. Every time I see my reflection I see something different. I always look ugly but some days I can actually identify myself in the mirror and see human-like features but other days it's like i'm looking at a blank page. I look away and I forget what I look like. On those days I have no motivation to do anything. I just sit in my bed all day, wondering why I was born.

Does anyone else have this?
yea its called anxiety buddy boyo. Like real anxiety, not the "anxiety" the females claim to have among 100 other "diagnoses"
 
I don't go out in public much lately since school is shut down & all. if I do it's just for exercise, in which case I'm not really dressing for appearances
 

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