It feels like I've existed for three eons

ScornedStoic

ScornedStoic

Executioner of Shadow, Bearer of the Curse
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I don't know how I'm gonna feel when I'm 40, because I already feel like an old man now. Maybe it's because I've mentally always been far older than my peers in every way, maybe it's because I've a shit life, or maybe it's both. But I truly feel I've existed for an indescribable amount of time, it's hard to imagine how I'll feel later.

I was always incredulous at the idea that I'd live much past around the age I'm at now, even as a small kid. I always kind of knew I'd die around this point, as I got older I realized it'd be from suicide.

Fuck, man, life is just a wild trip. In the words of a lost friend of mine, you're born, shit happens, then you die.
 
needsolution

needsolution

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u will be death before 40 so dont worry
 
mcfroggy

mcfroggy

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Life just feels like a fever dream.
 
Dionysus

Dionysus

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i feel old as well man
 
FinnCel

FinnCel

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I feel the same.
I read a lot about history.

It's almost like I lived in the past...
 
acnescarcel

acnescarcel

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try to cope well before roping at least u will get some little good memories
even memories are worthless considering you will probably die without a flash of your whole life like the movies and won’t remember them after you’re dead
 
needsolution

needsolution

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even memories are worthless considering you will probably die without a flash of your whole life like the movies and won’t remember them after you’re dead
sometimes im scared of death, no existing, i wonder what will happen sometimes for hours in night
 
acnescarcel

acnescarcel

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sometimes im scared of death, no existing, i wonder what will happen sometimes for hours in night
it will be like sleeping. i’m more afraid of pain than not existing
 
needsolution

needsolution

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it will be like sleeping. i’m more afraid of pain than not existing
i guess most of people afraid that they dont know what will happen
unknown in one word
 
ScornedStoic

ScornedStoic

Executioner of Shadow, Bearer of the Curse
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even memories are worthless considering you will probably die without a flash of your whole life like the movies and won’t remember them after you’re dead
Exactly.
sometimes im scared of death, no existing, i wonder what will happen sometimes for hours in night
I'm not. I welcome nonexistence.
 
acnescarcel

acnescarcel

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i guess most of people afraid that they dont know what will happen
unknown in one word
i mean we can look at dead bodies. they have no feeling aren’t conscious and no spirit leaves their body pretty sure that feels like sleeping forever with no afterlife.
 
needsolution

needsolution

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i mean we can look at dead bodies. they have no feeling aren’t conscious and no spirit leaves their body pretty sure that feels like sleeping forever with no afterlife.
well may be it will be better than our actual life
 
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Childhood was Paradise
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I feel so old too I want to be an 8 year old child again so bad so now that I am 25 I might as well be 80 in my mind I look sooo old and I hate body hair because it reminds me that I am not a child anymore.
 
ScornedStoic

ScornedStoic

Executioner of Shadow, Bearer of the Curse
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I feel so old too I want to be an 8 year old child again so bad so now that I am 25 I might as well be 80 in my mind I look sooo old and I hate body hair because it reminds me that I am not a child anymore.
I feel the same. I'm just waiting out death at this point, I've passed the best years of my life. I'd do anything to be 8 again.
 
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Childhood was Paradise
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I feel the same. I'm just waiting out death at this point, I've passed the best years of my life. I'd do anything to be 8 again.
Same here I often hope that when I die I just wake up as a child again this is of course extremely desperate but to me Childhood was heaven on Earth so it´s my ideal paradise.

Death can´t come soon enough I have rotted alone with no friends or hobbies for years I lived my in 1 year when I was 16 or younger than I have done in he last 7 years I should just have killed myself like I planned those 7 years ago when I was 18-19
 
angrycurrycel

angrycurrycel

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I have asked myself for the past year if i can make it past the age of 25
 
ihaveno1

ihaveno1

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I think a lot of it has to do with time feeling slower during childhood
 
ScornedStoic

ScornedStoic

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Same here I often hope that when I die I just wake up as a child again this is of course extremely desperate but to me Childhood was heaven on Earth so it´s my ideal paradise.

Death can´t come soon enough I have rotted alone with no friends or hobbies for years I lived my in 1 year when I was 16 or younger than I have done in he last 7 years I should just have killed myself like I planned those 7 years ago when I was 18-19
I've often thought how it would be all I desire if after I die I woke up as a child. It hurts to know that it's just a fantasy but it would be paradise and if there's a God that's all I ask for.

Fuck, I've existed for way too long. I feel weary. I've long thought I should've killed myself at 13
 
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Childhood was Paradise
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I've often thought how it would be all I desire if after I die I woke up as a child. It hurts to know that it's just a fantasy but it would be paradise and if there's a God that's all I ask for.

Fuck, I've existed for way too long. I feel weary. I've long thought I should've killed myself at 13
Yeah heaven for me would be to live my childhood over and over again where it would reset every time I hit puberty with an clean mind of course so it would be a new experience again and again.

I was suicidal since 14 so I know how it feel especially when I know how amazing life used to be as a child.
 
ScornedStoic

ScornedStoic

Executioner of Shadow, Bearer of the Curse
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Yeah heaven for me would be to live my childhood over and over again where it would reset every time I hit puberty with an clean mind of course so it would be a new experience again and again.

I was suicidal since 14 so I know how it feel especially when I know how amazing life used to be as a child.
We sound very similar.
 
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

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We sound very similar.
Maybe but I doubt it I have made many nostalgia threads on this forum and sanctionedsuicide to see if I can find people who feel similar to me and I have only found 1 person which is almost never online.

I feel as it says below my name Childhood was Paradise on Earth it was heaven to me and I might have had the best childhood in the world and I desperately want to experience it again there is nothing but pain and suffering in the future for me including my over half a dozen physical illnesses that gets worse by each passing year so the only thing that brings me a just a tiny spark of happiness is to look through nostalgic stuff like pictures, school books, gameplay videos of childhood games etc. there is NOTHING in the present or future for me.
 
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