Deleted member 7448
Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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- Joined
- May 16, 2018
- Posts
- 7,127
Whenever I post something somewhere and I get advice, I can never take it. It's always something that would require me to fix 100 other things, but it's something that would be so easy for normies. For me to take advice X, I'd need to get over A,B,C and 100 other things.
For example, if I ask on reddit about how to find something to like, an interest, an activity that I would enjoy. Inevitably somebody says something about doing things with other people, with friends. Well, right there is something I can't respond to.
I basically need to write entire paragraphs every time just to explain why that won't work, so I just don't do it. I can't just write every time, "well, you see, I'm avoidant of people and I may also be somewhat autistic, and I never had any friends and I blew the few chances I did have by avoiding people, and I've been depressed and anhedonic since I was 13 and now I'm in my mid to late 20s, and I've been rotting since then, literally not doing anything but lying in bed and watching sitcoms and browsing the internet". And that's still a short version that doesn't include a lot of things. Same thing with other pieces of advice. "Do what you like just a little bit, or what you liked as a kid". I never liked anything, I've been rotting for over a decade just lying in bed with my laptop. But I can't just say that, people don't understand. They just tell me to go to a psychiatrist.
Seriously, I can't take any advice because there's just so much wrong with me I can't even explain it all. If someone says "go see a psychiatrist", I can't do that either! And I have so, so many reasons for that too. Literally I could give you like 7 reasons off the top of my head right now, and they'd all be equally debilitating and would take too much for me to overcome.
I can't explain it properly, I'm just too far gone. I haven't met anyone as fucked up as me, and yet outwardly I seem relatively normal. Hell, my parents know me better than anyone and yet they still think I'm just normal but just spending too much time at home on my PC, they think that when I get a job I'll just be entirely normal, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm glad they think that though, don't want to stress them and hurt them more than I have already. Actually, me being this mentally screwed is weird since I've had such loving and good parents and they provided me with everything I've ever needed.
For example, if I ask on reddit about how to find something to like, an interest, an activity that I would enjoy. Inevitably somebody says something about doing things with other people, with friends. Well, right there is something I can't respond to.
I basically need to write entire paragraphs every time just to explain why that won't work, so I just don't do it. I can't just write every time, "well, you see, I'm avoidant of people and I may also be somewhat autistic, and I never had any friends and I blew the few chances I did have by avoiding people, and I've been depressed and anhedonic since I was 13 and now I'm in my mid to late 20s, and I've been rotting since then, literally not doing anything but lying in bed and watching sitcoms and browsing the internet". And that's still a short version that doesn't include a lot of things. Same thing with other pieces of advice. "Do what you like just a little bit, or what you liked as a kid". I never liked anything, I've been rotting for over a decade just lying in bed with my laptop. But I can't just say that, people don't understand. They just tell me to go to a psychiatrist.
Seriously, I can't take any advice because there's just so much wrong with me I can't even explain it all. If someone says "go see a psychiatrist", I can't do that either! And I have so, so many reasons for that too. Literally I could give you like 7 reasons off the top of my head right now, and they'd all be equally debilitating and would take too much for me to overcome.
I can't explain it properly, I'm just too far gone. I haven't met anyone as fucked up as me, and yet outwardly I seem relatively normal. Hell, my parents know me better than anyone and yet they still think I'm just normal but just spending too much time at home on my PC, they think that when I get a job I'll just be entirely normal, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm glad they think that though, don't want to stress them and hurt them more than I have already. Actually, me being this mentally screwed is weird since I've had such loving and good parents and they provided me with everything I've ever needed.
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