It's so sad that we replace socialization with this forum.

Normal are constantly making memories, and those memories are almost always related to doing stuff with other people.

I tried for the past 2 days to enjoy a whole bunch of stuff: movies, anime, manga, novels, games. And they all felt so hollow.

And for example about anime ... I recalled nostalgically stuff from like 5th grade. I guess that's around the time I stopped forming memories, or at least a few years before. There was a girl in class also watching anime, and while she didn't pay any attention to me even when I liked her till 12th grade (she was kind of a nerd and a weird girl so I guess I thought I might've had a chance with her, but I never did though I'm sure she knew I liked her), I still have memories associated with watching a few anime series that she was discussing during break time, at least with others.

I watched those anime series all alone but I still am nostalgic after them because they had a social context. Because I heard others talking about them, and maybe I said a few words too (though iirc I might've kept it secret that I was watching these things).

But now I have no memories for so many years cause ... they lack social context. Even now, I can't properly enjoy things, cause it's just me consuming and forgetting once the series is over. Because there's no social investment, no emotional investment, it's just something I consumed like a bag of chips and then I forget it forever.

I guess this is why I posted so much on this forum. It felt like it gave my days a social element. Felt like posting and having these posts read by some people would give these years some sort of feeling when I recall them afterwards. Like somebody out there remembers me for who I was these few years. Cause unlike that 5th grade time when I was watching anime, for the rest of my life I'll look back to my teens and my twenties and it'll just be a blur. I won't be nostalgic after anything cause no memories were formed. My actions had no social context so they had no emotional weight, no point, no way to turn into memories.

And worst of all, I'm now an adult, and adults are supposed to already have had a bunch of social experiences, to have a social circle, and from now on for them it's just grinding at a job and starting a family and going through life with less time for friends and such. Not that it matters, I'm too avoidant and anxious to a pathological level to actually change and start socializing. I tried, it just ended up worse for me in the end.
 
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anon1822

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Holy shit I just noticed you can't keep memories if they have no social context? I mean, nothing is memorable alone. If you remember something, it's always the interactions with others.
Yeah it was a weird realization for me too but the more I think about it the more I realize that's the case. Especially in the long term.
 
Fancy Alcoholic

Fancy Alcoholic

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I'm not a normie or even a failed one so I don't care, socialization is nothing to me, I couldn't care less.
tbh

This post sounds like neurotypical problems ngl

On the contrary I hate forced socialization (at work, with roommates ....) I've always been better off alone.
 
W0rmWood

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Reading this makes me want to kill myself
 
Pengwin

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Nothing exciting happens in my life.
 
Guykild

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I really don't, which is why I barely talk. My socialization comes from singleplayer games.
 
lifeisbullshit95

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It's not sad.. because socialization is manipulation if you think otherwise you are retarded asf.
 
kampman

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I have never been popular, so how else could I socialize?
 
ionlycopenow

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My games have gotten weirder and weirder and more difficult just to get some sense of fun from them. I'm really good at online games now and having almost no fun. Meanwhile Normies are crying how "sweaty" these games are and I am effortlessly doing well every game, and that's not even a brag I have just played it too much.
 
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Pumkin

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Nothing exciting happens in my life.
When I login to incels.co and see a red notification is the only time my heart skips a beat anymore.
I hate holidays and tomorow is going to be ass. I have nothing to be thankful for. I want someone to kill me.
 
Emba

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Incellio

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When I login to incels.co and see a red notification is the only time my heart skips a beat anymore.
I hate holidays and tomorow is going to be ass. I have nothing to be thankful for. I want someone to kill me.
Same thing