God's lonely man
- Apr 6, 2020
- 119d 14h 34m
I legitimately don’t know how I managed to wake up every morning looking like this without roping. I remember how just looking in a mirror or seeing people’s facial expressions when they look at me would instantly make my heart sink. It’s like this sudden shock and wave of dread that looms over you for the rest of the day.
It’s like a curse, everyone you meet is genuinely disgusted by you and sees you as an untouchable no matter what you do. For anyone who doesn’t know, cystic acne is 99.99% GENES. I spent every day washing, cleansing, moisturizing religiously, used every bullshit treatment like salicylic acid you can find, etc. I was more desperate to find a cure than a fucking cancer patient. Accutane is the only thing that can actually treat this kind of acne, everything else is like putting a band-aid on a severed leg
It’s not uncommon for people to LARP about “Women look at me with disgust bro, I’m repulsive” but in most cases nobody actually notices them, even ugly men usually just blend in with the rest of the crowd. When your skin looks like this people literally look at you like you’re the Ghouls from Fallout irl or carrying some contagious disease. Every social interaction you have is painful. Every second of the day is another brutal reminder that you’re not given the same empathy or respect as a normal human being. Cystic acne = SUBHUMAN
side note: the fact that treatment for my physical deformity costed a shit ton of money despite having insurance, while women can receive free plastic surgeries if they’re unhappy with their aesthetic appearance, INSTANTLY DEBUNKS the myth of “male privilege” and “patriarchy”