[Serious] Knowing that I'm ugly feels wrong

LiterallyASoyboy

LiterallyASoyboy

Existence is a nightmare
-
Joined
May 29, 2018
Posts
7,744
Online
28d 10h 35m
Like I mentioned in my other thread, lately I've been obsessing over old pictures of myself. Most of these are from before the point where having my picture taken would make me incredibly upset, that was when I was simply trying to deny that I was ugly, despite knowing the truth, hence my reaction. I can remember when many the pictures were taken, and then I'm once again faced with the reality that I'm subhuman trash. When I look through my eyes, I don't feel like I should be ugly. Sometimes I get intrusive thoughts asking what I did wrong, or why I couldn't have been attractive, but I know these are irrational. It's just weird how hard it is to reconcile the reality of my appearance with my own idea of what I am, it makes me feel like I'm trapped within my own head, a meaningless background character in another person's story, definitely a counter evolutionary intuition.

It simply amazes me that I was born, had all sorts of experiences, just to fully come to the realization that not only am I trapped in a decaying flesh prison, no somehow that's not enough, also my ugliness means that others will immediately think less of me, that I'll be isolated, sexually frustrated, and touch starved. I feel like a thing that simply shouldn't be, that every memory, every thought, every dream of mine would have been better off never having existed. Honestly it's difficult to describe this feeling, but it's awful, it makes my whole life feel like an elaborate joke.
 
anon1822

anon1822

Legend
★★★★★
Joined
May 16, 2018
Posts
3,993
Online
48d 13h 53m
I'm in a weird situation. I look in the mirror and I think I look good, idk.

Then if I have a photo taken of me, it's absolutely hideous. Like, what the fuck is this person? Can't be me, right?

And then the way women look at me. The indifference, the coldness. In school I remember one time a girl told me I look like Dwight Schrute, or that chinese pervert guy from Dexter. It's interesting how I coped and didn't realize I was ugly even back then, I just thought all that was wrong with me I was a little fat.
 
LiterallyASoyboy

LiterallyASoyboy

Existence is a nightmare
-
Joined
May 29, 2018
Posts
7,744
Online
28d 10h 35m
I'm in a weird situation. I look in the mirror and I think I look good, idk.

Then if I have a photo taken of me, it's absolutely hideous. Like, what the fuck is this person? Can't be me, right?
Yeah exactly, I just don't get it.
And then the way women look at me. The indifference, the coldness. In school I remember one time a girl told me I look like Dwight Schrute, or that chinese pervert guy from Dexter. It's interesting how I coped and didn't realize I was ugly even back then, I just thought all that was wrong with me I was a little fat.
I did this too, and then I lost some weight, obsessed over my appearance for a few years, and eventually I accepted that I realized that I was just ugly all along.
 
anon1822

anon1822

Legend
★★★★★
Joined
May 16, 2018
Posts
3,993
Online
48d 13h 53m
Yeah exactly, I just don't get it.

I did this too, and then I lost some weight, obsessed over my appearance for a few years, and eventually I accepted that I realized that I was just ugly all along.
Yeah, I became anorexic for a while. People told me I look like a skeleton, mom said I looked better when I was fat (with good intentions). Then I became fat again, cause what's the point of literally starving when I still don't look good?
 
FinnCel

FinnCel

Alcoholcel
★★★★★
Joined
Dec 13, 2018
Posts
27,031
Online
81d 6h 22m
In the past, we could have teamed up and taken chads out.
Now chads have no competition at all
 
Emergency Manual

Emergency Manual

Repenting of my sins | Jesus loves you
-
Joined
Nov 13, 2018
Posts
9,999
Online
36d 20h 17m
I would rope if I wasn't scared of the afterlife. I might try to get someone else to kill me.
 
needsolution

needsolution

Banned
-
Joined
Jul 24, 2019
Posts
20,521
Online
57d 16h 53m
knowing im disabled fuck is worse sometimes.
 
azakhan

azakhan

slavcel manlet with a raisin dick
★★
Joined
Oct 1, 2019
Posts
3,609
Online
49d 15h 45m
It's probably because we all want to feel like protagonists in a our own movie but protags are always attractive. No one wants to be some ugly extra who appears for a mere second.
 
-EndlessVirginity-

-EndlessVirginity-

Por favor!
-
Joined
Sep 21, 2019
Posts
750
Online
23d 2h 17m
Being ugly and its consequences will eat you alive.
 
Ropemaxx

Ropemaxx

Overlord
★★★★
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Posts
5,388
Online
62d 4h 7m
It simply amazes me that I was born, had all sorts of experiences, just to fully come to the realization that not only am I trapped in a decaying flesh prison, no somehow that's not enough, also my ugliness means that others will immediately think less of me, that I'll be isolated, sexually frustrated, and touch starved. I feel like a thing that simply shouldn't be, that every memory, every thought, every dream of mine would have been better off never having existed. Honestly it's difficult to describe this feeling, but it's awful, it makes my whole life feel like an elaborate joke.
Being touch starved is brutal. I lay awake at night in my bed, just craving a female to touch me, give me affection and approve of my worthless body. Its truly a starvation. I have thought of paying a prostitute to spoon me but feels too pathethic and stuff. I just wanna feel that soft female touch to make the world seem less cold and hostile
 
HueHueBr

HueHueBr

Allcel
★★
Joined
Mar 16, 2019
Posts
1,186
Online
14d 4h 6m
I lay awake at night in my bed, just craving a female to touch me, give me affection and approve of my worthless body. Its truly a starvation.
You still want that because you ignore the harmful female instinct. They only give affection and affection out of pure interest. Women will never desire man for man, only for what man has to offer. The only true love a woman can offer is to her children (and even for this kind of love there are exceptions, mothers hate incel children).
 
Ropemaxx

Ropemaxx

Overlord
★★★★
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Posts
5,388
Online
62d 4h 7m
You still want that because you ignore the harmful female instinct. They only give affection and affection out of pure interest. Women will never desire man for man, only for what man has to offer. The only true love a woman can offer is to her children (and even for this kind of love there are exceptions, mothers hate incel children).
Isn't that a cope? Women love Chads to death
 
Top