[Theory] Lord of the Rings

FallenPrime

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So if real world becomes the Middle Earth in Lord of the Rings, the people will be classified into:

Note: LLmaxxed has to be 6 ft minimum after maxxing.

Gigachads: Dunedains

Chads and Stacies: Elves

Chadlites and Stacylites: Rohan, Gondor

Normies: Most humans

Sandcels : Haradrim, Uruk-Hai if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed

Ricecels: Easterlings, Uruk-Hai if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed.

Blackcels: Uruk-Hai if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed. Orcs if not.

Whitecels: Orcs, Trolls if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed.

Tacocels: Goblins, Orcs if average height and Uruk-Hai if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed.

Coping Manlets (Ex. Alpha M): Dwarves

Abos: Hobbits as no one wants to have anything to do with them, can date their looksmatch and heightsmatch

Truecels: Smeagol

Sauron would be the Spirit of Saint Elliot.

In the end, is this accurate?
 
Unhappy-Man

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I think tolkien would be really offended you compared hobbits to abos tbh
 
FallenPrime

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I think tolkien would be really offended you compared hobbits to abos tbh
Well think about it, Abos and Hobbits are pretty similar, small-statured and tend to keep it to themselves.
 
Unhappy-Man

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Hobbits are tolkiens ideal of a perfect society/community, they are not retarded but chose a simple life where even the little things are a homely pleasure.
 
FallenPrime

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Hobbits are tolkiens ideal of a perfect society/community, they are not retarded but chose a simple life where even the little things are a homely pleasure.
Fine. Then tell me aside from the Hobbits, is the chart accurate though?
 
Unhappy-Man

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Fine. Then tell me aside from the Hobbits, is the chart accurate though?
Just giving my opinion like you asked.
It is not hard to associate certain lotr groups with real groups no matter how much tolkien denied that they were inspired/based of real groups
Most seem accurate enough.
 
Blackpill Rage

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So if real world becomes the Middle Earth in Lord of the Rings, the people will be classified into:

Note: LLmaxxed has to be 6 ft minimum after maxxing.

Gigachads: Dunedains

Chads and Stacies: Elves

Chadlites and Stacylites: Rohan, Gondor

Normies: Most humans

Sandcels : Haradrim, Uruk-Hai if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed

Ricecels: Easterlings, Uruk-Hai if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed.

Blackcels: Uruk-Hai if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed. Orcs if not.

Whitecels: Orcs, Trolls if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed.

Tacocels: Goblins, Orcs if average height and Uruk-Hai if LLmaxxed and roidmaxxed.

Coping Manlets (Ex. Alpha M): Dwarves

Abos: Hobbits as no one wants to have anything to do with them, can date their looksmatch and heightsmatch

Truecels: Smeagol

Sauron would be the Spirit of Saint Elliot.

In the end, is this accurate?
Gigacope. Sauron would be the Eternal Jew.
 
Unhappy-Man

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CelticTruecel

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Only soys watch Lord of the soys.
 
BummerDrummer

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I’d be a hobbit or dwarf brutal
 
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AnonAutist

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Smeagol is the perfect truecel, a friendless, ugly, deformed, totally insane manlet coping in giant cave lake underneath a remote mountain, where his lonely obsession for a lifeless object turns him into a shadow of what he could have been had he not been cursed by fate. Talk about a basement dwellers, smeagol is the nec plus ultra.
 
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FallenPrime

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True and the ring is an analogy for coping. I think Sauron should be a chad though.
Sauron would be TeraChad since he is a Maiar.
Smeagol is the perfect truecel, a friendless, deformed, totally insane manlet coping in giant cave lake underneath a mountain where his obsession with a lifeless object turns him into a shadow of a hobbit.
He is even shorter than Frodo and being barely 4 ft tall if not hunched.
 
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Justice Bao

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you forgot something important: the ring is the blackpill
 
FallenPrime

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Yes. I'm a big fan of Tolkien's books as well.
Another thing about people saying Sauron = Jew, Sauron is TeraChad meanwhile most Jews have ugly features particularly the hook nose. Jews should be closer to Grima Wormtongue.
you forgot something important: the ring is the blackpill
My theory isn't finished yet. Thanks for reminding me.
 
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