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Story My Origin Story (+ Could my deformity ever be compensated for?)

PoodankMcGee

PoodankMcGee

Crohn's/ostomycel
Joined
May 1, 2018
Posts
4,052
Alright, since I've been a member here for quite a while now I've decided it's time to share my origin story formally in it's own thread. Some of you may know it already from my comments, but I've never laid it out in full, and I really don't post that much. Based on the reactions I have received, it seems my predicament is rather unique and undeniably truecel. All the way back when AM happened, I even shared my story with a normie boomer podcast, and it shocked them so much that it actually changed their minds about incels to some extent (27:30, 31:30, 37:15 my desc. of blackpill, 1:03:20), especially considering it was after one of the most inflammatory incidents this community has ever been the center of. Also, I'm planning to use this as a reference in the future to spare others the gory details. Ngl there are going to be some gross medical details here that will likely make you cringe.

Birth - age 14 (TLDR, just skip this section, next one is important)
So some quick background first. I was born an only child to parents in their late 20s. Because of my father's job in the military, my family constantly moved around the U.S. every 2-3 years as my father was re-stationed. Because of this, I never really had a stable social group or friendship base throughout my elementary school years. As soon as I started to get to know people enough to have a chance at making legit "friends," it would be time to leave them all behind for a completely new state and be the new kid without any friends again. Especially not having any siblings, all I could really do was play Pokemon Ruby on my Gameboy and watch incel-tier cartoons like Ed, Edd, and Eddy and Courage the Cowardly Dog. I don't remember really thinking about this at the time, but looking back I do wonder how much this fucked me up for years to come. Though I do suppose there are chads who've moved around a lot and been more than fine

Not much memorable happened during middle school. I started hearing about kids sexting over Facetime and shit, but I always thought that was rumor, until my future football-player classmates straight up showed me a titty show of one of my classmates. Needless to say, such was unfathomable to me. I did manage to lose my handholding card after relentlessly simping and orbiting one girl, only for her friend to presumably slander me for my looks and basically made her ashamed to associate with me. This basically threw me into my first depressive episode. I still had hope, though, so I asked out this one looksmatched girl in my class only to be brutally rejected during recess because she was taller than me (especially brutal because girls enter puberty like a year before boys). Since then, I've never really had a reasonable opportunity to "ask a girl out" without straight up cold-approaching or coming off as a creep or whatever.

Age 14: Where it Truly Becomes OVER
Up to this point, I might have been able to ascend via looksmaxxing or PUA and be a failed normie or something, but after the medical issues I suffered at the beginning of high school, it truly become over.

During the winter of my freshman year, I straight up began to shit blood out of nowhere. At first there wasn't much, but over the course of a week I went from being normal to shitting blood 20+ times a day with horrible, constant abdominal pain. My parents took me to the ER [teehee] (only after a foid doctor misdiagnosed me with constipation JFL) and I was eventually diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Basically my colon/large intestine was inflamed. My own body is so worthless that my immune system was dysfunctioned and attacking my own guts.

In order to treat this, the doctors tried various immunosuppressants, 4 in total. Because each of these take 2-3 weeks to work, I was forced to endure months of shitting blood and constant pain until they eventually gave up and decided I need surgery to straight up remove my large intestine. I had 24 blood transfusions during this time because that's how much fucking blood I lost.

The surgery is called a total colectomy. Basically they removed my entire large intestine and created an ileostomy pouch. Instead of shitting like a normal human, the end of my small intestine just pokes out of my belly into a bag where the shit goes, and I empty the bag when it fills up (see pic below, not mine). I don't my use my asshole. Since then I have basically given up and accepted that it is over. Most people who have this eventually get it reversed, but mine is permanent for life because my entire large intestine had to be removed. My case was worse than literal colon cancer patients.
1601509912570

14 - Present
Somehow I maintained motivation to finish near the top of my class in hs and graduate as salutatorian. Partly this is due to my NPC smoothbrain parents constantly drilling "muh education, muh education!" into my brain, partly because studymaxxing is the one thing I was good at and felt I had "control" over, considering I can't even control my own defecation. This got me into a top-tier elite uni, but i simply did not have any more motivation after witnessing all the gigachads and social justice cuckery that is ubiquitous on such campuses. I couldn't make any friends because they were literally all SJWs, and they all mog me to oblivion.

Eventually, after discussing with my parents, I decided withdraw and return home. I simply wanted to straight up leave immediately, but my parents insisted I meet with a counselor to get a medical withdrawal for depression so my tuition would be forgived. I revealed too much of my power level, and the counselor had security "escort" me to a psych ward. I technically consented, but only because I knew at that moment I didn't really have a choice and it would be more difficult to get out if it was involuntary. I spent a week in there and returned home.

My parents still forced me to go to uni because my dad is a fucking retard, but now I can at least commute so I don't have to live with normies that mog me constantly. I have a year left. Once I finish I intend to tell my parents to fuck off because I have done everything they told me to, I have spent my life studymaxxing hard only to be mogged by richboi Chads whose parents have the connections to get them into elite unis and high-paying jobs effortlessly and the genetics to get laid without trying even though they are braindead egotistical assholes. I'm fucking done, ldar and neetlife for me. They forced their worthless genes and this terrible life upon me, they can pay for the rest of it.

Conclusion

Basically I think it's over, but I also wanted to get some outside perspective from you guys. Do you agree, or is there any amount of looksmaxxing, NTmaxxing, and betabuxxing that could possibly make up for this? Based on my browsing of ostomy forums, there really isn't much hope. Most people who have these are middle-age or older, and apparently even foids get rejected over this.

One interesting consideration is this story of a male model that ended up with a ostomy. Do you think this guy could get laid or is it over for him as well

If you've made it this far, thank you for hearing out my story. Ngl this helped a lot to vent and actually put this all out in writing for once.
@OverBeforeItBegan sorry for being late on this
1601511152250
 
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your story is way more brutal then mine.I am sorry i can't do anything about your condition.you could pray,become a pilgrim and travel to lourdes.maybe the lord will cure you there if you have enough faith.
 
Wow that is brootal, having to use a bag full of shit in everyday life, with more shit leaking out all day into the bag.
your story is way more brutal then mine.I am sorry i can't do anything about your condition.you could pray,become a pilgrim and travel to lourdes.maybe the lord will cure you there if you have enough faith.
lord will regenerate his intestine? cope
 
your story is way more brutal then mine.I am sorry i can't do anything about your condition.you could pray,become a pilgrim and travel to lourdes.maybe the lord will cure you there if you have enough faith.

I appreciate the sentiment, but im not a believer. No righteous god would allow such things to befall his creation. Such a being does not deserve worship, assuming he even exists.

The only hope i have is that technology might advance enough in our lifetime that i could shed this biological husk altogether and inhabit some form of digital consciousness.

Chances are humanity will destroy itself before that happens though
 
Well not for that model it's not over. But you can take the ostomy bag off for stuff like sex, right?
 
Well not for that model it's not over. But you can take the ostomy bag off for stuff like sex, right?

Theoretically yes. I do have to take it off to paste a new one on every couple days. Else it starts to smell and the risk of leaking increases over time as the medical paste degrades.

However that would leave the end of my intestine free, potentially splooging shit onto my partner and I at any moment, as i have no way to control it.

Perhaps i could find solid ones like the model instead of the clear one i have now. Apparently people also wear fabric belts around their stomach to cover it. This is of course assuming i can even get to the point where that matters.
 
Theoretically yes. I do have to take it off to paste a new one on every couple days. Else it starts to smell and the risk of leaking increases over time as the medical paste degrades.

However that would leave the end of my intestine free, potentially splooging shit onto my partner and I at any moment, as i have no way to control it.

Perhaps i could find solid ones like the model instead of the clear one i have now. Apparently people also wear fabric belts around their stomach to cover it. This is of course assuming i can even get to the point where that matters.

Oh, there are modesty belts? What do they look like?
 
Oh, there are modesty belts? What do they look like?
1601516856944
1601516867029

These are the best ones I could find. I suppose it might be possible to hook up without having to explain everything. The prospect of opening myself to a foid and explaining this shit, awaiting her verdict whether I'm worthy of poon or not, absolutely fucking terrifies me. I'd rope if I am explicitly rejected in-person because of this.

Also, inb4 "just find a girl like you" theory:
Ostomy population

Ok, 500,000 Americans, so let's say 250,000 females with ostomies. How many could I be compatible with?

Based on this data, (it's formatted weird there, each gender for each ostomy type adds up to 100) it seems an average of just 7.6% of females with ostomies are ages 18-39. That leaves 19,000 females in the U.S. in my age group. Plus I'm only 21, so the upper portion of that bracket is already stretching the age gap there, not that I would necessarily exclude granny/milfmaxxing at this point.
 
Jesus man, your story made me really sad. I'm very sorry op, that's a pretty fucked up situation. It's not impossible but it will be difficult. Tbh I don't even know how things can work in your situation, I mean it's somehow a limitating condition to your daily, simple tasks, let alone sex.

Perhaps you should look up for alternatives or hope for future technology that may come in handy for you. I just did a quick search, wouldn't this be a good thing to try?

1_0.jpg


That would make things way easier for you imo.

site for this product: https://ostomycure.com/ostomy-bag-not-necessary-ties

--

Also OP, touched by your condition I kinda entered in this rabbit hole of ostomy. Have you ever heard of this?



I'm not sure if I got this right but apparently there is a procedure they do to fix this situation in some cases, trying to reconect what's left from your intestine to your anus using tissue grafts or something like that. Would you be suitable for this surgery? You should take a look tbh
 
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Jesus man, your story made me really sad. I'm very sorry op, that's a pretty fucked up situation. It's not impossible but it will be difficult. Tbh I don't even know how things can work in your situation, I mean it's somehow a limitating condition to your daily, simple tasks, let alone sex.

Perhaps you should look up for alternatives or hope for future technology that may come in handy for you. I just did a quick search, wouldn't this be a good thing to try?

1_0.jpg


That would make things way easier for you imo.

site for this product: https://ostomycure.com/ostomy-bag-not-necessary-ties

--

Also OP, touched by your condition I kinda entered in this rabbit hole of ostomy. Have you ever heard of this?



I'm not sure if I got this right but apparently there is a procedure they do to fix this situation in some cases, trying to reconect what's left from your intestine to your anus using tissue grafts or something like that. Would you be suitable for this surgery? You should take a look tbh

Huh, yeah im not sure about the specifics of those articles, but there is a thing called a J-pouch that involves reconnecting what's left of my intestine to the rectum.

The issue is that you can only do that if you can get the inflammation under control, and to this day that remaining bit of my rectum is still inflamed despite taking Humira and suppositories. Every once in a while i will still have some discharge because of "diversionary colitis" in the remaining bit of rectum.
Not sure if the articles are referring to the j pouch or something else. Ill have to take a closer look in the morning.

It is something ive considered. There's just some risks involved, let alone the time it would talk to do the surgery and relearn how to use my asshole. Even then i would still have to use the bathroom more often than normal people. It sucks because the bag has actually worked well for me medically speaking. Never had any leaks or major problems. It's just the social/sexual aspect is so damn crippling
 
Huh, yeah im not sure about the specifics of those articles, but there is a thing called a J-pouch that involves reconnecting what's left of my intestine to the rectum.

The issue is that you can only do that if you can get the inflammation under control, and to this day that remaining bit of my rectum is still inflamed despite taking Humira and suppositories. Every once in a while i will still have some discharge because of "diversionary colitis" in the remaining bit of rectum.
Not sure if the articles are referring to the j pouch or something else. Ill have to take a closer look in the morning.

It is something ive considered. There's just some risks involved, let alone the time it would talk to do the surgery and relearn how to use my asshole. Even then i would still have to use the bathroom more often than normal people. It sucks because the bag has actually worked well for me medically speaking. Never had any leaks or major problems. It's just the social/sexual aspect is so damn crippling

It's something called TIES, and I'm not sure what it is or how it works, but there's no bag involved.
 
Huh, yeah im not sure about the specifics of those articles, but there is a thing called a J-pouch that involves reconnecting what's left of my intestine to the rectum.

The issue is that you can only do that if you can get the inflammation under control, and to this day that remaining bit of my rectum is still inflamed despite taking Humira and suppositories. Every once in a while i will still have some discharge because of "diversionary colitis" in the remaining bit of rectum.
Not sure if the articles are referring to the j pouch or something else. Ill have to take a closer look in the morning.

It is something ive considered. There's just some risks involved, let alone the time it would talk to do the surgery and relearn how to use my asshole. Even then i would still have to use the bathroom more often than normal people. It sucks because the bag has actually worked well for me medically speaking. Never had any leaks or major problems. It's just the social/sexual aspect is so damn crippling
I see. You seem to be pretty chill about your condition, I'd be really freaking out in your position. 'God tempers the wind to the shorn lamb' I guess, I don't really believe in god but I think you got the idea.

Do you research and see if there is any safe possibility, anything that can improve your life is worth doing, that's valid for both, aesthetical and medical. But in any case, the first option is also valid imo, I think i'd be easier to explain to a girl that and it's definitely more pleasant to see that small cap instead of a bag full of shit or your prolapsed intestine.
 
Wow...

Have you considered getting a new large intestine? I bet the line for a ded organ donor colon is short.?

You might try keeping a "food to shit" journal. Where you write down eating and shitting times in order to find out how long specific foods take to digest.

That way you could potentially have some "bag freedom" time. (Unless it's a constant thing...) Perhaps for some timed sex? (With a who're...?)

Shitting blood is a side effect of asprin and ibuprofen... If i had a herbal hospital - say post apocalypse - then i would have prescribed a astringent enema. And wide spectrum anti-fungal antibiotics anti parasite, antivirals... To try to kill off whatever was shredding your guts.

But i don't know anything about chrons... Or colitis.

I would suggest you look into the keto/ paleo diet. Avoid grains.

You might find a gf via some kind of support group?
 
OP, I'm just speechless... How good is your face? Can you gymcel? Maybe with a body similar to the model you posted you could get something, if your face isn't bad... Man I really wish I could help you, I'm sorry for your situation, at least you seem to be a strong minded one. Good luck OP, wish you the best
 
Brutal story. I love you buddy and hope that u will find a way to fix your problem.
Being pretty is just the beginning. Being healthy is way more important and the blackpill doesn't acknowledge it properly.

You are a real hero for managing to get good marks in school. Are you going to apply for uni? I think your ascension or at least minimization of suffering can be in academia. We can talk about it if u wish.

Good luck and i hope u will have a good life.
 
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Brutal ostomypill
 
You probably know this, but they're working on growing intestine, vascularized and connected to the immune system and everything else an organ needs to survive. They did it with mice, next on the menu is pigs.
EDIT: By the way, you were right the first time. You should be taking as much control over your life as you can. If you can get back into that school, you should.
 
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Sorry man, this really sucks, fuck women this is far more serious, i dont know what to say, maybe the medicine will come up with something new, i wish you luck.
You are still young, maybe somewhere abroad there is some experimental medical procedure.
 
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It's something called TIES, and I'm not sure what it is or how it works, but there's no bag involved.

Interesting, yeah that would definitely be a good alternative. Would be way less off-putting to a potential partner than a bag. Unfortunately it looks like trials are only going on in Europe right now. No idea whether my insurance would cover it, but that's definitely something for me to keep an eye on.
 
Interesting, yeah that would definitely be a good alternative. Would be way less off-putting to a potential partner than a bag. Unfortunately it looks like trials are only going on in Europe right now. No idea whether my insurance would cover it, but that's definitely something for me to keep an eye on.

How does it work with no bag?
 
How does it work with no bag?

Based on their website, it seems i just open that lid and attach a bag whenever i need to go. The lid has to be replaced weekly, but the implanted titanium resevoir is permanent.

The surgery seems simple, but i cant seem to find any info on how it would feel or how i would "know" when i need to empty it.
 
Based on their website, it seems i just open that lid and attach a bag whenever i need to go. The lid has to be replaced weekly, but the implanted titanium resevoir is permanent.

The surgery seems simple, but i cant seem to find any info on how it would feel or how i would "know" when i need to empty it.

Which brings me back to your schooling. Is there any way you can get back on that? Good schooling means better opportunities, which means more ability to manage your health. Get procedures like these, and more.
 
Which brings me back to your schooling. Is there any way you can get back on that? Good schooling means better opportunities, which means more ability to manage your health. Get procedures like these, and more.

I am still in school, im just commuting and going to one that is full of normies instead of elitist pricks. Definitely gonna finish my bachelor's (in psych jfl). My dream career once upon a time was to research the therapeutic effects of psychedelics, but now i might just try to get a comfy do-nothing office job in human resources. Im currently doing that part time right now at a government office actually.

I've realized it's a catch 22. Studymaxxing hardcore wasnt too good on my mental health either, especially since im perfectionistic and tend to fall into self-loathing if i dont meet my own standards. Doubly so when im surrounded by careerist rich kids that simply havent had to face such hardships and only care about you if youre useful for "networking" and status mongering


Idk, the ostomy supplies really doesnt cost that much, but im sure my health insurance will be insane once i turn 26 and get kicked off my parent's plan. I guess it's a balance between money and stress. There's all sorts of research about the impact of stress on inflammation too, wouldnt be surprise if it contributed to some extent.
 
Oof, I really don't know what to say. This is much more brutal in comparison to my life. I'm really sorry, life is especially unfair to some people and you didn't deserve this, but you seem like a strong person and dealing well with your situation.

I honestly hope that you will find some fitting solution now or in the future, or at least I wish you will find peace of mind and move forward. Previous posters did come up with good points and I also want to support the idea of you going back to school.

You've mentioned you're not religious, but still I'd like to share one idea in Islam, basically meaning that no one gets burdened more than he can bear. Good luck and don't lose hope.
fuck women this is far more serious
 
My dream career once upon a time was to research the therapeutic effects of psychedelics, but now i might just try to get a comfy do-nothing office job in human resources. Im currently doing that part time right now at a government office actually.

Suppose you were to still do that. How would you do it? How do you become one of... whatever one of those is?
 
Suppose you were to still do that. How would you do it? How do you become one of... whatever one of those is?

First things first would be to enter a clinical psych phd program, or if i dont want to do clinical i can do a program more research based, preferably in one of the few universities that have the permits to do research with psychedelics: Purdue, Johns Hopkins, Imperial College London, or Kings College. Probably a couple others im forgetting.

I do still have stellar grades and some research experience, so it's still possible. And if i dont end up getting an opportunity to work with psychedelics specifically i could find a more conventional research focus im interested in.

The major question is whether i'd be able to follow through with a commitment to that much more schooling. I have a full ride through undergrad, but for a masters or phd i would likely have to take the risk of getting a loan.

It's been awhile since ive actually used psychedelics, since im on joopills right now which could be a risky interaction. But my first experiences with them sparked my interest in psychology, human perception, and cognitive science. Perhaps i should try weaning myself off the jewpills... though i have been on them for over a year now and the withdrawal would likely be painful
 
I do still have stellar grades and some research experience, so it's still possible. And if i dont end up getting an opportunity to work with psychedelics specifically i could find a more conventional research focus im interested in.

Research experience? Do you have connections?
 
Incredibly brutal ngl. OP do you still have to do all this? Or has there been a new development? :fuk:
 
Incredibly brutal ngl. OP do you still have to do all this? Or has there been a new development? :fuk:
Not really brocel. Still have ostomy bag, still no gf, graduated college, got an average desk job, making decent salary and climbing wagecuck ladder until my sanity cant tolerate it anymore.

Just saving and investing until i can buy a house and retire. Otherwise just trying to enjoy my copes and lose my virginity to an escort at some point. Not really trying to get a gf at this point im just trying to stay sane wagecucking.
 
Damn, read all and this must be really brutal, my condolences
 
Also how is this nigga a model ? He is balding brutally and his eyes tell me he is not a model
 

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