I've said this a lot of times before but: I keep rewatching the same sitcoms 50+ times. I've got like 10 or so sitcoms that I keep playing the entire 10 seasons of each of one, then I move on to the next then back to another one. For the past few years I've been able to rot all day long almost, many days 16 hours a day on the PC and a lot of those I'm just watching sitcoms, sometimes just browsing stuff with the sitcom in the background of course.
I play them in the background a lot but tbh most of the time is spent actually watching it. Actively watching a sitcom I've seen tens of times already.
It's really weird. I guess I can try to explain it: it delivers small doses of dopamine and other things constantly. The little jokes, the sounds, the laughs. It not only feels comfy and pleasant, but it also feels less lonely. Not lonely as in missing other people, but even just playing a game or something feels ... eerily quiet, not even music alleviates this. But watching a sitcom I've already seen feels like ... home. It's maximum comfiness, it's like I've retreated into my shell and I'm just comfily vegetating with a small but constant stream of dopamine. ALSO, the most important aspect I think: it uses no mental energy, I've talked about how it's very difficult for me to use any energy, even mental one. So much so that even watching new shows or movies is a use of energy. But watching the same comfy sitcoms that feels so familiar, that feel like home ... they use 0 energy. It's the closest thing to being asleep I think, what else can you do while awake that uses less energy but is still stimulating enough to not be bored?
It's a really weird addiction, and addiction is the perfect word for it too. I can't stop tbh. I tried several times, I keep trying. But I get so anxious and stressed, it's like I'm unplugged and tossed into a big, scary, random world when I don't have a sitcom going. I even thought that when I start wageslaving, maybe I'll be able to somehow put on headphones and listen to my sitcoms all day long, that would reduce my stress and anxiety when wageslaving. But obviously that's not realistic, can't wear headphones at the job.
It does feel like literally wasting my life. But not doing it feels so shit. I guess I can't stand being alone with my own thoughts for too long, that's another element of it. Can't properly explain why I don't just watch new stuff, maybe it's really just the energy thing, who knows.
I play them in the background a lot but tbh most of the time is spent actually watching it. Actively watching a sitcom I've seen tens of times already.
It's really weird. I guess I can try to explain it: it delivers small doses of dopamine and other things constantly. The little jokes, the sounds, the laughs. It not only feels comfy and pleasant, but it also feels less lonely. Not lonely as in missing other people, but even just playing a game or something feels ... eerily quiet, not even music alleviates this. But watching a sitcom I've already seen feels like ... home. It's maximum comfiness, it's like I've retreated into my shell and I'm just comfily vegetating with a small but constant stream of dopamine. ALSO, the most important aspect I think: it uses no mental energy, I've talked about how it's very difficult for me to use any energy, even mental one. So much so that even watching new shows or movies is a use of energy. But watching the same comfy sitcoms that feels so familiar, that feel like home ... they use 0 energy. It's the closest thing to being asleep I think, what else can you do while awake that uses less energy but is still stimulating enough to not be bored?
It's a really weird addiction, and addiction is the perfect word for it too. I can't stop tbh. I tried several times, I keep trying. But I get so anxious and stressed, it's like I'm unplugged and tossed into a big, scary, random world when I don't have a sitcom going. I even thought that when I start wageslaving, maybe I'll be able to somehow put on headphones and listen to my sitcoms all day long, that would reduce my stress and anxiety when wageslaving. But obviously that's not realistic, can't wear headphones at the job.
It does feel like literally wasting my life. But not doing it feels so shit. I guess I can't stand being alone with my own thoughts for too long, that's another element of it. Can't properly explain why I don't just watch new stuff, maybe it's really just the energy thing, who knows.
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