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I live alone with my parents, I dont have a home as I cannot work because of psychic troubles. I dont have many leisure; as I have few friends and that I dont dare call them;
But one leisure is taht on every sunday I go to the public library in border of town. Its a charmant and very high modern place it is a very high space with high windows offering view on the river ; so I use to go there every weekend I love the quiet mood and books but recently I heard some band of young girls laughing when I passed near of them. A recent event made me sad. I crossed a couple of young girl in the escalator and I notice one of them suddenly trying to repress a laugh when she crossed me; there was nobody else in the escalator nothing funny her friend didnt laugh remained quiet face but discovering the other girl laughing without fear to hurt me, - young foids do not care about hurting you by jiggling - I realized it was maybe about me, because I am seen either as a weird man always single , either a loser, who has no friend and has none to visit and nothing else to do else than going here ; this is the 3rd or 4th time I notice this and it made me very sad; As in France we recently came over from a lock down, I dont have many opportunity meet people and there the few only walks I can have to have a few pleasure; and then i got laughed ; I feel ashamed; it's true I go oftenly there every week, Some finally spotted me as a weird loser; now I realised that I am not allowed to go to my loved places any longer because, femoids who are submitted to social pressure, have judged me as a lone loser and see me as ridiculous. What a definitive brutal lifefuel
But one leisure is taht on every sunday I go to the public library in border of town. Its a charmant and very high modern place it is a very high space with high windows offering view on the river ; so I use to go there every weekend I love the quiet mood and books but recently I heard some band of young girls laughing when I passed near of them. A recent event made me sad. I crossed a couple of young girl in the escalator and I notice one of them suddenly trying to repress a laugh when she crossed me; there was nobody else in the escalator nothing funny her friend didnt laugh remained quiet face but discovering the other girl laughing without fear to hurt me, - young foids do not care about hurting you by jiggling - I realized it was maybe about me, because I am seen either as a weird man always single , either a loser, who has no friend and has none to visit and nothing else to do else than going here ; this is the 3rd or 4th time I notice this and it made me very sad; As in France we recently came over from a lock down, I dont have many opportunity meet people and there the few only walks I can have to have a few pleasure; and then i got laughed ; I feel ashamed; it's true I go oftenly there every week, Some finally spotted me as a weird loser; now I realised that I am not allowed to go to my loved places any longer because, femoids who are submitted to social pressure, have judged me as a lone loser and see me as ridiculous. What a definitive brutal lifefuel
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