Of loss and recollection

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Anonymous MG

Anonymous MG

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Recently naught but two days ago I requested a voluntary ban, being a short period before return, I thought I should personally explain what I've been doing and why I did this.

To put it simply, I lost someone dear to my heart on a personal level, and I was completely and utterly wracked with grief upon their sudden disappearance. I was in a slight state of shock and uneasiness. I needed a day to collect my thoughts and meditate on it, a lot of existential and suicidal thoughts were swarming my mental state. I began to question my purpose in the world, I felt a deep fear that I would fall victim to a mental trap and not be able to recover, and most importantly I was wondering how I would fill the hole that was once filled by someone I loved and cherished.

I might've been able to stand myself, had I not turned my back on them when they left. And I may never be able to forgive myself for making them feel the way they did before they left.

No, after long and deep thought I did not come up with a valid excuse for my actions, not did I formulate a reason to continue if only for the action itself. As meaningless as the gesture would've been, I just wish I could've said sorry to him one last time before he left.

But, regardless, I wish to come back. I am finished focusing. @i_a_m_i, can I please return?
 
i_a_m_i

i_a_m_i

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