So over the past year or so, after a round of SSRIs and actively forcing myself to change, my personality has permanently shifted.
I'm a little less helpful to those who aren't helpful back, a little less forgiving, a little more Machiavellian in my thinking to outmanoeuvre the other pricks out there who scheme 24/7. I used to be a really nice, wholesome kind of guy. But when people just shit on you over and over and over and over, it's fucking infuriating.
I remember while the change in me was taking place and I did something a little morally reprehensible (like telling a huge lie to someone, gas-lighting etc), I'd start thinking to myself "what the fuck, what the fuck have I become?" and have to take some anti-anxiety pills to make the feeling go away. But these days those feelings are a distant memory. The person I was, was frequently taken advantage of, not respected and WEAK. No more. I am reborn. I will never look back.
What I've found really interesting though, excluding the maybe 20% of people out there who are actually pretty nice at heart, is that once you've ascended in this way and stopped being a pushover - you get a fuckton of backlash from people. People become accustomed to being able to strongarm you and when that power is stripped from them it really does set them off.
I thought some more about this and realised people behave the same way when anyone who isn't a Chad improves their teeth, their fitness, their hair, their job situation etc... improvement is usually met with subtle dissaproval. People really don't like you improving yourself AT ALL.
I'm a little less helpful to those who aren't helpful back, a little less forgiving, a little more Machiavellian in my thinking to outmanoeuvre the other pricks out there who scheme 24/7. I used to be a really nice, wholesome kind of guy. But when people just shit on you over and over and over and over, it's fucking infuriating.
I remember while the change in me was taking place and I did something a little morally reprehensible (like telling a huge lie to someone, gas-lighting etc), I'd start thinking to myself "what the fuck, what the fuck have I become?" and have to take some anti-anxiety pills to make the feeling go away. But these days those feelings are a distant memory. The person I was, was frequently taken advantage of, not respected and WEAK. No more. I am reborn. I will never look back.
What I've found really interesting though, excluding the maybe 20% of people out there who are actually pretty nice at heart, is that once you've ascended in this way and stopped being a pushover - you get a fuckton of backlash from people. People become accustomed to being able to strongarm you and when that power is stripped from them it really does set them off.
I thought some more about this and realised people behave the same way when anyone who isn't a Chad improves their teeth, their fitness, their hair, their job situation etc... improvement is usually met with subtle dissaproval. People really don't like you improving yourself AT ALL.
