I can't keep carrying on like this year after year, I wish I didn't care so much now I'm older but I feel worse the longer things stay the same. Alone at home in the day/night and every weekend or when out, except when I help my elderly mother with shopping.
No girlfriend ever, no friends for decades to chat to or see, can't get dates or sex, although I did finally manage to get a date in 2013 from POF though, but was rejected after 10 minutes after she said she didn't feel an attraction and was going to leave now. I should have felt hopeful and excited, but I was sick with anxiety on the way to the restaurant because I knew something like that would happen!
Just what is the point if you never succeed? It's the same outcome whether you get chances or not!
I thought getting a steady job would help. I was made redundant from a crappy warehouse job in 2005 and ended up NEET for the best part of 14 years basically, despite trying to get interviews and sending my CV. I got a few agency jobs but the people I worked with treated me like shit and it never lasted more than a few days, or a month or so max.
I have got a steadyish job again but it's minimum wage, except on nights [what I'm doing] where it's £2 more an hour. It's depressing, especially when it's been a really bad shift with things going wrong when the other guys go on about how they can't wait to see their wives/girlfriends later or are on about seeing groups of friends in their active social lives. They know I'm not married or have kids and this one old guy likes making stupid jokes it, along the lines of oh he must like guys haha ect.
I have nothing to cushion the shit, everything is negative and I feel so angry and sad about it all from the moment I wake up. I don't see me lasting much longer, I'm not saying I'll rope necessarily but I fear I'm heading for some kind of nervous breakdown or will snap violently one day when one of the guys makes a joke about me.
It's all just a matter of time.
No girlfriend ever, no friends for decades to chat to or see, can't get dates or sex, although I did finally manage to get a date in 2013 from POF though, but was rejected after 10 minutes after she said she didn't feel an attraction and was going to leave now. I should have felt hopeful and excited, but I was sick with anxiety on the way to the restaurant because I knew something like that would happen!
Just what is the point if you never succeed? It's the same outcome whether you get chances or not!
I thought getting a steady job would help. I was made redundant from a crappy warehouse job in 2005 and ended up NEET for the best part of 14 years basically, despite trying to get interviews and sending my CV. I got a few agency jobs but the people I worked with treated me like shit and it never lasted more than a few days, or a month or so max.
I have got a steadyish job again but it's minimum wage, except on nights [what I'm doing] where it's £2 more an hour. It's depressing, especially when it's been a really bad shift with things going wrong when the other guys go on about how they can't wait to see their wives/girlfriends later or are on about seeing groups of friends in their active social lives. They know I'm not married or have kids and this one old guy likes making stupid jokes it, along the lines of oh he must like guys haha ect.
I have nothing to cushion the shit, everything is negative and I feel so angry and sad about it all from the moment I wake up. I don't see me lasting much longer, I'm not saying I'll rope necessarily but I fear I'm heading for some kind of nervous breakdown or will snap violently one day when one of the guys makes a joke about me.
It's all just a matter of time.
