Lv99_BixNood
fascel
★★★★★
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2017
- Posts
- 16,345
Outline.com
outline.com
Dear How to Do It,
My ex-girlfriend and I broke up right before lockdown. When things got serious, we decided to try the friends-with-benefits deal in order to have unprotected sex without risking getting COVID. We made a deal that if one of us met and wanted to have sex with someone else, the other person had the option of continuing in a friends-with-benefit role aware that the former was having sex with someone else, too, or opting out of the role altogether and leaving the friends-with-benefits relationship.
Well, she recently confessed that almost immediately she began having unprotected sex with four other men over the course of our deal, which ended on Thanksgiving. I knew she was having sex with someone else but couldn’t confirm it, and she denied it. I asked her three times, and she denied it all three times, and accused me of gaslighting her. I hoped she was at least using protection. She wasn’t. When I went to see a friend platonically, my ex-girlfriend accused me of having sex with her and we got in a huge fight—while she was the one having sex with others. After things ended, she used the potential for sex to control me so I’d do things for her but never had sex with me again.
She recently when she revealed her other sex partners and said she was a relationship anarchist. At once, I felt relieved because I wasn’t crazy; I felt validated because I knew she was lying; and I felt angry because she never let me know so I could opt out. The issue isn’t that she had sex with others—we weren’t a couple (though I had feelings still). The issue was that she broke our deal and didn’t allow me to opt out. The other issue is that with all that unprotected sex, we could have gotten an std or COVID, and she was being irresponsible having unprotected sex and not letting me know. I’d have opted out at the beginning.
She apologized for hurting me, but doesn’t think she did anything wrong. I impressed upon her the health issue she could have caused (one of her partners has unprotected sex with a lot of different women). She also confessed she wasn’t in love with me during our exclusive relationship before the friends-with-benefits deal, and she then claimed to have borderline personality disorder, though it is undiagnosed.
Even Chads get cucked nowadays, it's brutally over.
