Theres no such thing as feeling good. Not even momentarily. Youre just endlessly trying to distract yourself from the black hole. The vacuum inside you. The bottomless pit sucking you in. Youre ressisting falling every second of your life by distracting yourself at every moment. Running away from your own shadow until you can no longer run. Because you know if you stop distracting yourself the creeping void is going to devour you whole. When that happens the only way out is immediate suicide. The primal drive to not be confronted with the pure nightmarish terror that is the fabric of all existence outweighs the evolutionary crave for survival.
Dont think death solves it though. Suicide or no suicide. Death merely detaches the particals of consciousness trapped in your earthly body. These particals carrying your metaphysical DNA will form a new being instantaniously somewhere, sometime in some realm. Other realms, no matter how heavenly in appearance, are all waven from the same wool. The nightmarish thread, the fabric deafening terror of emptyness.
You just dont remember your former manifestations. So you have to start all over again everytime the reset button is pushed. Making each life as pointless as the other. Youre trapped in an eternal cyclus of burning. Blowing your own futile bubbles of illusion each life again.The same story over and over and over. Just in a different setting. Only the decorum and costume changes. But youll be singing the same songs, performing the same script time and time again
Heres an experiment for ya:
Next time you feel good, observe the good feeling, examine it without muddying the waters with thoughts, perspectives or opinions. See the alluring feeling unfold before your closed eyes into threads of hopeless misery before it dissolves in your spirit.
Time will not release your suffering. There can be no clock set for that what knows beginning nor end. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, just more rainbow. The bright colours; merely an illusion.
Dont think death solves it though. Suicide or no suicide. Death merely detaches the particals of consciousness trapped in your earthly body. These particals carrying your metaphysical DNA will form a new being instantaniously somewhere, sometime in some realm. Other realms, no matter how heavenly in appearance, are all waven from the same wool. The nightmarish thread, the fabric deafening terror of emptyness.
You just dont remember your former manifestations. So you have to start all over again everytime the reset button is pushed. Making each life as pointless as the other. Youre trapped in an eternal cyclus of burning. Blowing your own futile bubbles of illusion each life again.The same story over and over and over. Just in a different setting. Only the decorum and costume changes. But youll be singing the same songs, performing the same script time and time again
Heres an experiment for ya:
Next time you feel good, observe the good feeling, examine it without muddying the waters with thoughts, perspectives or opinions. See the alluring feeling unfold before your closed eyes into threads of hopeless misery before it dissolves in your spirit.
Time will not release your suffering. There can be no clock set for that what knows beginning nor end. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, just more rainbow. The bright colours; merely an illusion.
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