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The incel career handbook (serious)

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Deleted member 31869

Deleted member 31869

Just pass me the rope
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I know I've been making some joking threads about work, my boss etc (it was all true stories though), but this one is srs.

I've been working office jobs, where politics and mind games are the worst, for 5 years now, and have encountered lots of different situations, one time i was bullied and eventually fired due to the slander of the bullies, another time i was bullied too but, using what I had learned, turned the situation around in my favor by making them look bad to the boss so he wouldn't fired me, and started deliberately annoying them in purpose and essentially bullying them more than they bullied me, it was awesome. And more crazy stuff but I don't want to make this too long.

Anyway, during these experiences I've learned quite a bit so I thought I'd make an incel career handbook to help out youngcels as well as neetmaxxers who may need a job some day.

This is a full darktriadmaxxed guide, the likes of which you won't see anywhere else, bc if someone posted this on reddit for example, normies would seethe. No sugarcoating at all, just brutal blackpills applied to work and blackpilled practical advice.

For interviews:

1. Lie on your resume. People will tell you not to, but just do it and it'll pay off. Make sure to be smart about it though bc it can even be illegal, or justification for a legal firing (if employment is not at will where you live). Don't pretend to have degrees you don't have, only write down fake employment periods if it's a company that's out of business and can't be contacted or a fake one you came up with (and made a website for it and shit). Also if you get fired, always pretend you still work there at interviews and are looking for a better job.

2. Come up with a main selling point about yourself. Just one. Even if it's a lie. You just need to come up with one simple thing that you supposedly stand out for, and focus all your efforts into reinforcing that idea. Everything you say about yourself has to be tailored to low key reinforce that or lead to that conclusion in one way or another. That way they will easily remember you for that trait, as normie brainlets can't really handle more, and they'll remember about you more than other candidates. Like for example pretend you're particularly good at something (that they need) and prepare stories that "confirm" it and shit.

3. Be full normie in interviews. You have to really focus on interviews, almost to the point that it feels like you're a performing actor. Otherwise it will go wrong. If they sense that you're nervous you won't get the job. Same if they feel that you're in any way different from other people or have something bad going on in your life. At all. So you have to really focus on the deception that you're a 100% normie and really get into character.

When on the job:

4. Get a feel for what kind of company you got into on the first few days. If they're competent at the job and value quality, you will have to do things right or you'll get fired, there's no way around this tbh. But if they're incompetent which happens a lot, you'll be able to get away with slacking off and then pretending your assigned tasks took more than they did, or cut corners to slack off and still deliver. Also if you find that they're usually on a rush, rush things and deliver what they want asap, even if it causes long term problems, that's what will make you look better. Managers there only want to hear "it's done boss" they don't care about quality or long term viability, or anything like that that's too complicated for them. So don't bother.

5. Don't socialize too much and don't even look at foids. It's sad that it has to be this way, but this is legit better than being disliked and risking more trouble. People who's the boss's friend has advantages, but there's also a risk of it going wrong in many ways, where as if you keep a low profile you'll often be better off. Dont stand out by being too isolated either though, go to lunch with them and shit and just don't talk much. When your boss tells you that you're not socializing much and should open up, just pretend to agree and keep doing the same. This way you don't risk getting metood, or accidentally saying something politically incorrect or whatever.

6. Work hard for the first few months. Not on the job itself but on looking good to your boss (it's not the same st all). By making a daily remark on how you've supposedly gone out of your way to do something better (even if it's BS), staying at work late sometimes... You can give a very good first impression and then be able to slack off a lot for the coming years.

7. When someone asks you for help or something besides what your boss asked you to do, always say yes. And then either just don't do it and say you were busy (specially if it was a foid), or if you have a task that you're late on and missing a deadline anyway, tell your boss this person needed your help and said it was very urgent so that's why you had to do that instead.

8. If you're bullied, it's not like in school. For every thing they say to your face, they'll say 1000 behind your back and to your boss. The best thing to do if this happens is to leave and sue the company for the bullying tbh, or if your country laws allow this, stop going to work while forcing them to still pay you by getting a doctor to verify that your job is giving you anxiety. But if you can't escape the situation and need the job: The first thing you have to do is to cope HARD outside of work. The main thing bullies want is to see you depressed, but if you have things going on outside of work that make you happy (hard for an incel though...), they won't have that effect on you and will seethe. Idk ask your family or friends to do stuff with you after work, get a new hobby that distracts you, whatever it takes to successfully cope. Also: Assume they're talking shit about you to your boss and HR and defend yourself from the slander. This is easy once you get the hang of it. You'll usually already have a feeling for what they're saying behind your back, as they will say similar stuff to you (you can also ask a neutral coworker what they say when you're not there), and with that, prepare your narrative very well before doing anything. Your bullies narrative will usually look like this: Maybe one or two legit complaints (no one's perfect), and a bunch of dumb shit they added just to talk more shit. So what you have to do is ignore what they're right about and focus on the bullshit they say. And your version of what is going on should basically be, that they're angry about petty stuff and intentionally slandering you for that reason and coming up with accusations that don't make sense (you'll have a lot of examples of shit they said about you that doesn't make sense, as they will talk a LOT of shit, so just focus on the dumbest shit).

9. Be extremely well informed on the law regarding work where you live, what to do if you get fired etc. Like how to get unemployment welfare when getting fired and what are the requirements (so you can make sure to meet them before hand), if employment isn't at will, make sure you know what constitutes a justified firing so you don't do that, and be aware of possible ways to sue your company for extra money. Also record conversations with your boss if recordings without consent can be used in court where you live.

10. Do something to draw attention to your work in meetings. This is very dependant on your line of work tbh. But if, in a meeting to discuss progress for example, everyone else gives a description of how they're doing, and you do some sort of demonstration to show it, it'll help incredibly, bc people are very visual.
 
No handbook for your face
 
I know I've been making some joking threads about work, my boss etc (it was all true stories though), but this one is srs.

I've been working office jobs, where politics and mind games are the worst, for 5 years now, and have encountered lots of different situations, one time i was bullied and eventually fired due to the slander of the bullies, another time i was bullied too but, using what I had learned, turned the situation around in my favor by making them look bad to the boss so he wouldn't fired me, and started deliberately annoying them in purpose and essentially bullying them more than they bullied me, it was awesome. And more crazy stuff but I don't want to make this too long.

Anyway, during these experiences I've learned quite a bit so I thought I'd make an incel career handbook to help out youngcels as well as neetmaxxers who may need a job some day.

This is a full darktriadmaxxed guide, the likes of which you won't see anywhere else, bc if someone posted this on reddit for example, normies would seethe. No sugarcoating at all, just brutal blackpills applied to work and blackpilled practical advice.

For interviews:

1. Lie on your resume. People will tell you not to, but just do it and it'll pay off. Make sure to be smart about it though bc it can even be illegal, or justification for a legal firing (if employment is not at will where you live). Don't pretend to have degrees you don't have, only write down fake employment periods if it's a company that's out of business and can't be contacted or a fake one you came up with (and made a website for it and shit). Also if you get fired, always pretend you still work there at interviews and are looking for a better job.

2. Come up with a main selling point about yourself. Just one. Even if it's a lie. You just need to come up with one simple thing that you supposedly stand out for, and focus all your efforts into reinforcing that idea. Everything you say about yourself has to be tailored to low key reinforce that or lead to that conclusion in one way or another. That way they will easily remember you for that trait, as normie brainlets can't really handle more, and they'll remember about you more than other candidates. Like for example pretend you're particularly good at something (that they need) and prepare stories that "confirm" it and shit.

3. Be full normie in interviews. You have to really focus on interviews, almost to the point that it feels like you're a performing actor. Otherwise it will go wrong. If they sense that you're nervous you won't get the job. Same if they feel that you're in any way different from other people or have something bad going on in your life. At all. So you have to really focus on the deception that you're a 100% normie and really get into character.

When on the job:

4. Get a feel for what kind of company you got into on the first few days. If they're competent at the job and value quality, you will have to do things right or you'll get fired, there's no way around this tbh. But if they're incompetent which happens a lot, you'll be able to get away with slacking off and then pretending your assigned tasks took more than they did, or cut corners to slack off and still deliver. Also if you find that they're usually on a rush, rush things and deliver what they want asap, even if it causes long term problems, that's what will make you look better. Managers there only want to hear "it's done boss" they don't care about quality or long term viability, or anything like that that's too complicated for them. So don't bother.

5. Don't socialize too much and don't even look at foids. It's sad that it has to be this way, but this is legit better than being disliked and risking more trouble. People who's the boss's friend has advantages, but there's also a risk of it going wrong in many ways, where as if you keep a low profile you'll often be better off. Dont stand out by being too isolated either though, go to lunch with them and shit and just don't talk much. When your boss tells you that you're not socializing much and should open up, just pretend to agree and keep doing the same. This way you don't risk getting metood, or accidentally saying something politically incorrect or whatever.

6. Work hard for the first few months. Not on the job itself but on looking good to your boss (it's not the same st all). By making a daily remark on how you've supposedly gone out of your way to do something better (even if it's BS), staying at work late sometimes... You can give a very good first impression and then be able to slack off a lot for the coming years.

7. When someone asks you for help or something besides what your boss asked you to do, always say yes. And then either just don't do it and say you were busy (specially if it was a foid), or if you have a task that you're late on and missing a deadline anyway, tell your boss this person needed your help and said it was very urgent so that's why you had to do that instead.

8. If you're bullied, it's not like in school. For every thing they say to your face, they'll say 1000 behind your back and to your boss. The best thing to do if this happens is to leave and sue the company for the bullying tbh, or if your country laws allow this, stop going to work while forcing them to still pay you by getting a doctor to verify that your job is giving you anxiety. But if you can't escape the situation and need the job: The first thing you have to do is to cope HARD outside of work. The main thing bullies want is to see you depressed, but if you have things going on outside of work that make you happy (hard for an incel though...), they won't have that effect on you and will seethe. Idk ask your family or friends to do stuff with you after work, get a new hobby that distracts you, whatever it takes to successfully cope. Also: Assume they're talking shit about you to your boss and HR and defend yourself from the slander. This is easy once you get the hang of it. You'll usually already have a feeling for what they're saying behind your back, as they will say similar stuff to you (you can also ask a neutral coworker what they say when you're not there), and with that, prepare your narrative very well before doing anything. Your bullies narrative will usually look like this: Maybe one or two legit complaints (no one's perfect), and a bunch of dumb shit they added just to talk more shit. So what you have to do is ignore what they're right about and focus on the bullshit they say. And your version of what is going on should basically be, that they're angry about petty stuff and intentionally slandering you for that reason and coming up with accusations that don't make sense (you'll have a lot of examples of shit they said about you that doesn't make sense, as they will talk a LOT of shit, so just focus on the dumbest shit).

9. Be extremely well informed on the law regarding work where you live, what to do if you get fired etc. Like how to get unemployment welfare when getting fired and what are the requirements (so you can make sure to meet them before hand), if employment isn't at will, make sure you know what constitutes a justified firing so you don't do that, and be aware of possible ways to sue your company for extra money. Also record conversations with your boss if recordings without consent can be used in court where you live.

10. Do something to draw attention to your work in meetings. This is very dependant on your line of work tbh. But if, in a meeting to discuss progress for example, everyone else gives a description of how they're doing, and you do some sort of demonstration to show it, it'll help incredibly, bc people are very visual.
Saved, thanks bud.
 
You should also record every instance somebody asks you to do extra work for them so you have something to bring up during performance review meetings
 
Great advice.
 
didnt read not gonna wagecuck
 
thanks for the starry wisdom.
if i have to work i will keep this in mind
 
I work minimum wage. This thread is only useful to cucks that went to college and got fucked by student loans.
 
Just walk into the office, give the boss a firm handshake and hand him your resume.
 
I work minimum wage. This thread is only useful to cucks that went to college and got fucked by student loans.
yeah its for office jobs tbh, but not necessarily only with college education
 
Pretty solid advice. And yeah make sure you don’t associate with foids at all unless 100% necessary. And if possible try to secretly have a camera that records every interaction you have in case you get accused of something. I would probably want to subtly screw over other people and sabotage them to look better since they are competition. Always be ready to screw someone else over to get a raise and never trust anyone.
 
bookmarked will use whenever my NEET nonsense is over
 
Thanks OP.

Saved, thanks bud.

You should also record every instance somebody asks you to do extra work for them so you have something to bring up during performance review meetings

Great advice.


Pretty solid advice. And yeah make sure you don’t associate with foids at all unless 100% necessary. And if possible try to secretly have a camera that records every interaction you have in case you get accused of something. I would probably want to subtly screw over other people and sabotage them to look better since they are competition. Always be ready to screw someone else over to get a raise and never trust anyone.

This is fucking Einstein IQ
Thanks @yikerinos and book marked.
We need more threads like this.
 
based and high iq
 
Incels should just truckmax tbh
 
Incels should just truckmax tbh
if you truckmax you're helping society, its better to have a bullshit office job that contributes nothing
 
if you truckmax you're helping society, its better to have a bullshit office job that contributes nothing
In an office environment you have to interact with people at some point in the day and then you go home to your small house and get to hear the neighors bang while you try to sleep whereas in a long haul trucking position you are a hikikomori on wheels. You will not see foids up close for weeks at a time. Not to mention you likely make way more money and can stop working for months at a time whenever you please and pick it up again unlike any other office job.
 
I'll try to neet as long as I can and then do some freelancing if I have to but still good advice for the wagies I guess :feelsokman:
 
definitely bookmarking this thread op, I'm in my last two years of college and will def need this.
 

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