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The world is fucking bullshit, shouldn't be this hard to meet new people. There's no fucking system in place.

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Deleted member 7448

Deleted member 7448

Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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In the past communities were tighter. People would know the people around them, unless you were a monster you'd have a pretty wide social circle.

But times have changed so now it's so hard to have a social circle if you've missed the boat. If you were shy or something in college/school. As an adult you're fucked if you don't already have a well-established social circle.

There should be a fucking system in place for this kind of shit. There should be a system in place for people to meet others and for it to not be weird and cringy like cold approaching. So a guy like me could just go to some 3/10 woman and try to start a conversation with her. And if she doesn't seem interested, onto the next one. Till I fucking get a girlfriend. But irl I can't do fucking shit. Literally can't do jack shit as an adult, especially in this shithole country with limited options where nothing ever happens cause people just hang out with people they already know. Can't even cold approach or tinder or shit like that in this shithole, but those weren't options for a bald and nerdy glasses wearer like me anyway. Can't even go to hobby club or whatever cause only kinds that exist around here are language courses and shit like that, and you bet your ass nobody there is paying good money to try and make friends or some shit, they're there to learn and then they go back to their busy lives.
 
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People need social circles, the average person has 7 --> 20 friends though so this is only really a problem for the disenfranchised (ugly people,) and so no one seems care.
 
I can inform you that in many of the traditional christian churches I've been a part of, these communities do exist. I've had the opportunity to "meet" a few young women who could've been my wife had I not be incel-tier. Not sure how prevalent things like that are in your country, but if you want to meet women traditionally (which is way better), you have to go to traditional places.

The unfortunate reality is that lookism still applies, and you still have to be good looking to get anywhere with these women. But opportunity with """quality women""" (relative statement I guess) can be present in meager doses in traditional places, such as a tradition church.
 
People need social circles, the average person has 7 --> 20 friends though so this is only really a problem for the disenfranchised (ugly people,) and so no one seems care.
Got 2 contacts in my phone, mom and dad. Only people I ever knew were classmates in school/uni, and I dread being seen by any of them on the street due to various autism (or even worse, alcohol-related very cringe events).
I can inform you that in many of the traditional christian churches I've been a part of, these communities do exist. I've had the opportunity to "meet" a few young women who could've been my wife had I not be incel-tier. Not sure how prevalent things like that are in your country, but if you want to meet women traditionally (which is way better), you have to go to traditional places.

The unfortunate reality is that lookism still applies, and you still have to be good looking to get anywhere with these women. But opportunity with """quality women""" (relative statement I guess) can be present in meager doses in traditional places, such as a tradition church.
Good point. Not an option in this shithole cause only old peasants go to church on holidays, if that. But good point.
 
Well we have those things here: Trinkhalle (drinking hall; just a room with tables and chairs, I think lots of turkish and ex soviet countries have them as well), späti (basically a mix between pub, kiosk and trinkhalle), and gemeindezentrum (community center). Not so many people using them though and especially not here, I think. To bad I am the only northern German. This topic would actually interest me.

It's also really a pain in the ass witht the shady contact apps, but I heard girls actually like it to gatekeep poors. If you can't pay for multiple basically scams without hesitation, you were never supposed to be part of the club in the first place. :feelsEhh:

Even for special interests you would think; "Great, the internet! What an opportuity to meet like minded people close by!", but honestly people are so shattered among so many platforms and it paradoxically let to the opposite you would expect from modern means, but that's capitalism I guess. A healthy society would develop new open standards for public online forums (in the ancient roman sense). > Just download a brazillion apps brah, who will also farm your data!

The second half of your second paragraph is pretty on point, most peopel just social circlemax... Normies just click with each other, no matter who,they don't have too look for special people, I guess.
 
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Well we have those things here: Trinkhalle (drinking hall; just a room with tables and chairs, I think lots of turkish and ex soviet countries have them as well), späti (basically a mix between pub, kiosk and trinkhalle), and gemeindezentrum (community center). Not so many people using them though and especially not here, I think. To bad I am the only northern German. This topic would actually interest me.

It's also really a pain in the ass witht the shady contact apps, but I heard girls actually like it to gatekeep poors. If you can't pay for multiple basically scams without hesitation, you were never supposed to be part of the club in the first place. :feelsEhh:

Even for special interests you would think; "Great, the internet! What an opportuity to meet like minded people close by!", but honestly people are so shattered among so many platforms and it paradoxically let to the opposite you would expect from modern means, but that's capitalism I guess. A healthy society would develop new open standards for public online forums (in the ancient roman sense). > Just download a brazillion apps brah, who will also farm your data!
Yeah, great points. I edit the part about centers out exactly cause of that, realized nobody would use them and it would feel cringe for those that do try.

Damn, it's all a giant pain in the ass for loners like us.
 
In the past communities were tighter. People would know the people around them, unless you were a monster you'd have a pretty wide social circle.

But times have changed so now it's so hard to have a social circle if you've missed the boat. If you were shy or something in college/school. As an adult you're fucked if you don't already have a well-established social circle.

There should be a fucking system in place for this kind of shit. There should be a system in place for people to meet others and for it to not be weird and cringy like cold approaching. So a guy like me could just go to some 3/10 woman and try to start a conversation with her. And if she doesn't seem interested, onto the next one. Till I fucking get a girlfriend. But irl I can't do fucking shit. Literally can't do jack shit as an adult, especially in this shithole country with limited options where nothing ever happens cause people just hang out with people they already know. Can't even cold approach or tinder or shit like that in this shithole, but those weren't options for a bald and nerdy glasses wearer like me anyway. Can't even go to hobby club or whatever cause only kinds that exist around here are language courses and shit like that, and you bet your ass nobody there is paying good money to try and make friends or some shit, they're there to learn and then they go back to their busy lives.
volunteer somewhere brocel, that might be able to help you get new social circles.
 

Quoting wikipedia

Putnam surveys the decline of social capital in the United States since 1950. He has described the reduction in all the forms of in-person social intercourse upon which Americans used to found, educate, and enrich the fabric of their social lives. He argues that this undermines the active civil engagement which a strong democracy requires from its citizens.

He noted that some organizations had grown, such as the American Association of Retired People, the Sierra Club, and a plethora of mass-member activist groups. But he said that these groups did not tend to foster face-to-face interaction, and were the type where "the only act of membership consists in writing a check for dues or perhaps occasionally reading a newsletter."[1] He also drew a distinction between two different types of social capital: a "bonding" type (which occurs within a demographic group) and a "bridging" type (which unites people from different groups).

He then asked: "Why is US social capital eroding?" and discussed several possible causes.[1] He believed that the "movement of women into the workforce"[1] and other demographic changes had an impact on the number of individuals engaging in civic associations. He also discussed the "re-potting hypothesis", that people become less engaged when they frequently move towns, but found that Americans actually moved towns less frequently than in previous decades.[1][2] He did suggest that suburbanization, economics and time pressures had some effect, though he noted that average working hours had shortened. He concluded the main cause was technology "individualizing" people's leisure time via television and the Internet, suspecting that "virtual reality helmets" would carry this further in the future.[1]

He estimated that the fall-off in civic engagement after 1965 was 10% due to pressure of work and double-career families, 10% to suburbanisation and commuting, 25% to the individualisation of media (television), and 50% to ‘generational change’. 5% remained unexplained.
 

Quoting wikipedia

Putnam surveys the decline of social capital in the United States since 1950. He has described the reduction in all the forms of in-person social intercourse upon which Americans used to found, educate, and enrich the fabric of their social lives. He argues that this undermines the active civil engagement which a strong democracy requires from its citizens.

He noted that some organizations had grown, such as the American Association of Retired People, the Sierra Club, and a plethora of mass-member activist groups. But he said that these groups did not tend to foster face-to-face interaction, and were the type where "the only act of membership consists in writing a check for dues or perhaps occasionally reading a newsletter."[1] He also drew a distinction between two different types of social capital: a "bonding" type (which occurs within a demographic group) and a "bridging" type (which unites people from different groups).

He then asked: "Why is US social capital eroding?" and discussed several possible causes.[1] He believed that the "movement of women into the workforce"[1] and other demographic changes had an impact on the number of individuals engaging in civic associations. He also discussed the "re-potting hypothesis", that people become less engaged when they frequently move towns, but found that Americans actually moved towns less frequently than in previous decades.[1][2] He did suggest that suburbanization, economics and time pressures had some effect, though he noted that average working hours had shortened. He concluded the main cause was technology "individualizing" people's leisure time via television and the Internet, suspecting that "virtual reality helmets" would carry this further in the future.[1]

He estimated that the fall-off in civic engagement after 1965 was 10% due to pressure of work and double-career families, 10% to suburbanisation and commuting, 25% to the individualisation of media (television), and 50% to ‘generational change’. 5% remained unexplained.
Great points. A few hours ago I was thinking about this actually, how when people finish work, they don't interact with their loved ones or friends, they mostly just watch TV or browse the internet. Or even if they do go out with friends or talk to family, it's a much smaller % of time than in the past.
 
Great points. A few hours ago I was thinking about this actually, how when people finish work, they don't interact with their loved ones or friends, they mostly just watch TV or browse the internet. Or even if they do go out with friends or talk to family, it's a much smaller % of time than in the past.
The norm used to be to eat at the dinner table with your family. You were seen as a weirdo or a dysfunctional family for not doing this lmao how things have changed
 
yeah, forget about any of that stuff you see in the movies, just doesn't work in EE

even if you have friends you are completely at their mercy, i made a single new friend and there were one or two opportunities where he could invite girls but he just decided not to, or decided to not celebrate his birthday, long before that i had another friend who acted similar

access to women has become something like a rare precious resource, it feels like it's now some kind of mafia thing, having girls around, something for dangerous people who are "in the know"
 
Wake up and smell the jewfee
 
yeah, forget about any of that stuff you see in the movies, just doesn't work in EE

even if you have friends you are completely at their mercy, i made a single new friend and there were one or two opportunities where he could invite girls but he just decided not to, or decided to not celebrate his birthday, long before that i had another friend who acted similar

access to women has become something like a rare precious resource, it feels like it's now some kind of mafia thing, having girls around, something for dangerous people who are "in the know"
Well said, it's a mystery to me as an outsider how the world works. Such a simple thing - how to get a woman. Every male for millennia has been doing it since they hit puberty. And yet I'm a grown ass man and the whole thing is more puzzling than brain surgery to me.
 
Our parents were able to reproduce.
Why can't we?
How did our parents meet?
Let's discuss this.
 
Well said, it's a mystery to me as an outsider how the world works. Such a simple thing - how to get a woman. Every male for millennia has been doing it since they hit puberty. And yet I'm a grown ass man and the whole thing is more puzzling than brain surgery to me.
well, i guess part of the problem is we still expect to impose our will on others to some small extent, like choosing a woman to pursue for marriage at a particular time

the thing is that average men now will get a woman by excelling at their job, being very sociable, and being ideologically and politically subservient (feminism, whatever else men don't really like)
doing all these things while having no expectations, meaning not pursuing, and eventually a poor quality woman approaches them when they are doing all of these very well

obviously when they do that their ability to impose their will on when courtship and mating happens is completely obliterated, which seems to be the entire point of this new society
 
well, i guess part of the problem is we still expect to impose our will on others to some small extent, like choosing a woman to pursue for marriage at a particular time

the thing is that average men now will get a woman by excelling at their job, being very sociable, and being ideologically and politically subservient (feminism, whatever else men don't really like)
doing all these things while having no expectations, meaning not pursuing, and eventually a poor quality woman approaches them when they are doing all of these very well

obviously when they do that their ability to impose their will on when courtship and mating happens is completely obliterated, which seems to be the entire point of this new society
Sage observations, I more or less thought that too, though I try not to dwell on it too hard since I fail hard at all those things. Far from sociable, I'm pretty much as socially retarded as it gets. And work-wise I might actually be one of the most lazy and energy-deficient people alive.

Anyway, good observations, unfortunate though.
Our parents were able to reproduce.
Why can't we?
How did our parents meet?
Let's discuss this.
It is indeed weird how much life changed from one generation to the next. It's crazy.
 
Sage observations, I more or less thought that too, though I try not to dwell on it too hard since I fail hard at all those things. Far from sociable, I'm pretty much as socially retarded as it gets. And work-wise I might actually be one of the most lazy and energy-deficient people alive.

Anyway, good observations, unfortunate though.

It is indeed weird how much life changed from one generation to the next. It's crazy.
yeah, i fail at these too. it was shocking long ago to find out how little status tech people have, and how unimportant what little status you have is when you're not very sociable.

honestly it's a disgusting feeling but i'm finally starting to feel like an outdated dinosaur in some respects, like on the whole aspect of imposing your will by choosing when and whom to pursue. because that's just gone now, nobody in my middle class environment does it, they self-improve and wait to be approached. the abundence of female partners that are uglier and older than the males makes it obvious.
 
the abundence of female partners that are uglier and older than the males makes it obvious.
Results of hypergamy.
Women feel that they are queens in the dating market.
Hypergamy was very very very increased because was developed social media, dating apps and other shit, this internet shit increased hypergamy.
 
Great points. A few hours ago I was thinking about this actually, how when people finish work, they don't interact with their loved ones or friends, they mostly just watch TV or browse the internet. Or even if they do go out with friends or talk to family, it's a much smaller % of time than in the past.
Cope tbh people still have a lot of those personal and intimate moments. Only difference is only much better looking people than before can have those kind of moments.
 
Having no friends truly is crushing. I've learned to cope with it but it really sucked for a long time
 
Our parents were able to reproduce.
Why can't we?
Due to the “abnormal conditions present in modern industrial society... excessive density of population, isolation of man from nature, excessive rapidity of social change and the breakdown of natural, small-scale communities such as the extended family, the village or the tribe.”
—Uncle Ted
How did our parents meet?
Let's discuss this.
Church + college + social circles + lack of social media and dating apps
 
In the past communities were tighter. People would know the people around them, unless you were a monster you'd have a pretty wide social circle.

But times have changed so now it's so hard to have a social circle if you've missed the boat. If you were shy or something in college/school. As an adult you're fucked if you don't already have a well-established social circle.

There should be a fucking system in place for this kind of shit. There should be a system in place for people to meet others and for it to not be weird and cringy like cold approaching. So a guy like me could just go to some 3/10 woman and try to start a conversation with her. And if she doesn't seem interested, onto the next one. Till I fucking get a girlfriend. But irl I can't do fucking shit. Literally can't do jack shit as an adult, especially in this shithole country with limited options where nothing ever happens cause people just hang out with people they already know. Can't even cold approach or tinder or shit like that in this shithole, but those weren't options for a bald and nerdy glasses wearer like me anyway. Can't even go to hobby club or whatever cause only kinds that exist around here are language courses and shit like that, and you bet your ass nobody there is paying good money to try and make friends or some shit, they're there to learn and then they go back to their busy lives.
IT screenshotted this and are bullying you for this harmless post. I don't think they have hobby meetups in Laos? You said earlier you can't even order most shit online like phenibut without jumping thru a shitton of hoops.


View: https://www.reddit.com/r/IncelTear/comments/l283je/so_whos_gonna_tell_him_about_the_thousands_of/
 
I don't want a social circle. All I want is a wife and some kids.
 
IT screenshotted this and are bullying you for this harmless post. I don't think they have hobby meetups in Laos? You said earlier you can't even order most shit online like phenibut without jumping thru a shitton of hoops.


View: https://www.reddit.com/r/IncelTear/comments/l283je/so_whos_gonna_tell_him_about_the_thousands_of/

Haha, yeah I think even in the post I mentioned that dating apps aren't an option in this country. I mean, they do exist but that's mostly in name only, the chances of getting a date through those is even lower than in regular countries, it's mostly just disguised hookers and law enforcement on those sites. And either way, the same discriminations based on looks applies there too, so that's an instant no-go for my bald ass with thick glasses and shitty teeth.

Lol I just read through their comments. They think I can go to reddit communities or meetup.com for this. Lmao, didn't I mention in the post I'm in a shitty country? Those are solutions for big countries with a big population that happens to browse those sites.
 
Been saying this for a while.

Even when you go out (clubbing, uni, etc), everyone stays with their mates and groups. They don’t try to talk to anyone new. All my mates were my mates from highschool. I’ve barely met anyone new and I’m in my 3rd of uni now.

Thing is, if girls are attracted to you, you won’t have to cold approach. I stand by this. She’ll try to sit next to you in class, she’ll ask you about homework, she’ll crack jokes around you, she’ll make small talk, etc. If you have to try, it’s over.
I don't want a social circle. All I want is a wife and some kids.
Not sure about the kids...
 
It's over for everyone. No one born after 1985 knows what actual community is. JFL at the idiots that posted this on reddit that are talking about fucking APPS as a replacement for this.
 
It's extremely difficult to make good friends in high school, in my experience.
 
It's over for everyone. No one born after 1985 knows what actual community is. JFL at the idiots that posted this on reddit that are talking about fucking APPS as a replacement for this.
Yes, thank you, you understand.
Been saying this for a while.

Even when you go out (clubbing, uni, etc), everyone stays with their mates and groups. They don’t try to talk to anyone new. All my mates were my mates from highschool. I’ve barely met anyone new and I’m in my 3rd of uni now.

Thing is, if girls are attracted to you, you won’t have to cold approach. I stand by this. She’ll try to sit next to you in class, she’ll ask you about homework, she’ll crack jokes around you, she’ll make small talk, etc. If you have to try, it’s over.

Not sure about the kids...
Yep, it's such a closed off world.
 
Our parents were able to reproduce.
Why can't we?
How did our parents meet?
Let's discuss this.
We’ll okay. Genetic recombination has to be taken into consideration. You got your genes from your parents right? Doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re the same looks rating as you. They may have both been a 7/10 each, but you took the poor genes from each one of them, thus rendering you as ugly.

Also, the dating market has changed. More men are available to more women at the click of a button. Even ignoring those circumstances of online interactions, an influx of people living in cities and creating a densely populated area in metropolitan spaces, results in a great supply of viable dating options in universities, schools, clubs, gyms and other scenes that encompass social conduct.

Not to mention the differences in how partners are selected in the 21st century. Scientific journals and literatures have observed that men have reproduced far less than women throughout the course of history. This disparity between the reproductive success of the genders can be explained through the mating selection process of males and females. This selection criteria is no stranger to those who study blackpill data and observe dating principles in today’s age.

Feminism, and all its waves, has resulted in women’s financial independence and confidence in their sexual and romantic pursuits. This has led to men with careers and a high working class as being redundant as women are able to level the playing fields.

We are simply returning to the original sexual selection process that humans, and species as a whole, supposedly had throughout the vast majority of human history.
 
Even 3/10 women want chads these days

Its literally pointless going to these clubs unless youre good looking
 
We’ll okay. Genetic recombination has to be taken into consideration. You got your genes from your parents right? Doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re the same looks rating as you. They may have both been a 7/10 each, but you took the poor genes from each one of them, thus rendering you as ugly.

Also, the dating market has changed. More men are available to more women at the click of a button. Even ignoring those circumstances of online interactions, an influx of people living in cities and creating a densely populated area in metropolitan spaces, results in a great supply of viable dating options in universities, schools, clubs, gyms and other scenes that encompass social conduct.

Not to mention the differences in how partners are selected in the 21st century. Scientific journals and literatures have observed that men have reproduced far less than women throughout the course of history. This disparity between the reproductive success of the genders can be explained through the mating selection process of males and females. This selection criteria is no stranger to those who study blackpill data and observe dating principles in today’s age.

Feminism, and all its waves, has resulted in women’s financial independence and confidence in their sexual and romantic pursuits. This has led to men with careers and a high working class as being redundant as women are able to level the playing fields.

We are simply returning to the original sexual selection process that humans, and species as a whole, supposedly had throughout the vast majority of human history.
I hate when people spout off this nonsense.

There is nothing 'natural' whatsoever about the modern world. It took tremendous amounts of social engineering to get us to this point.
 
I don't want a social circle. All I want is a wife and some kids.
Me too, but that’s the easiest way for non chads to get a relationship. Social circle maxx
 
I can inform you that in many of the traditional christian churches I've been a part of, these communities do exist. I've had the opportunity to "meet" a few young women who could've been my wife had I not be incel-tier. Not sure how prevalent things like that are in your country, but if you want to meet women traditionally (which is way better), you have to go to traditional places.

The unfortunate reality is that lookism still applies, and you still have to be good looking to get anywhere with these women. But opportunity with """quality women""" (relative statement I guess) can be present in meager doses in traditional places, such as a tradition church.
Honestly, I always feel like church woman can be some of the worst people tho so it's still hard to find . Also storm pm me some time.
 

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