SuicideFuel Today I had the worst possible way to awaken as an incel

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AutisticMonstrosity

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When one sleeps, only sense that works is hearing. I went to sleep at 16:30 (I don't remember exactly, between 16-17). I awaken to the sounds of intense female screams/orgasm. In the bedroom directly above or under me, a young female is having the time of her life. Just 2-4 metres above or below me. I went to bed having mood above average, I just had a new PS4 game left installing and updating before I went to sleep (in the afternoon, I know, I am hardcore NEETer). Within seconds after I realise I am awake and what is the source/reason for those sounds... I get tears dropping from my eyes. If in that moment there would have been a button to press to die instantly without suffering, I would have pressed it. I just heard the intensive ending of their session. 30-45 seconds. I heard the springs of the mattress when the man was thrusting intensively...he in all likelihood orgasmed at the same time as the woman, because they stopped right at when I heard the woman's sounds. I heard then them step out of the bed and talk (could not discern what they said). Then soon (a minute or two) after I hear them "use water" (I don't know how to say it). Then they go to sleep. I agonise something like 20 minutes in the bed, then go up and go watch the clock. It was almost exactly midnight (24), 1 or 2 minutes over midnight. Then I went to bathroom and when I returned from there, the same clock showed that it was 02:30 (AM). I was 2 and half hours in the bathroom. I can't even cry too loudly, because they would hear, and I don't definitely want that. This building has negligible soundproofing. I want to live as a hermit in the middle of forest and not having any contacts with society. That is the only way to beat depression without pharmacological intervention. I have been on and off a SSRI medication these last couple of years. If I had been under their influence, this would have hurt somewhat less. But overall, they are not worth taking. Every time I only started them because of extremely brutal situation/feelings like this one... to numb the feelings. Maybe they saved my life or from life sentence in prison a couple of times.

This particular source of sex sounds have existed here at most a few months. So lately this is nothing new. They were earlier than usual. Usually they have sex at 0:30-0:50. When I first heard them, it was even more brutal than this (I wanted to make a thread then, but couldn't because reasons), then I was actually trying to fall asleep at the same time as today I woke up. I was then many minutes like: "Is this for real?!", "What am I hearing, this can't be", "Is this thing really a thing in real life!!!?"... until there could be no doubts. There was one couple in autumn 2019 and early 2020 that I heard. Before that, a decade of not hearing anything (apparently my neighbours do not even watch porn with sounds on). Before that decade of silence on this front, there was a Russian couple living above me and they fucked much more frequently than this couple I heard today. They fucked at least every other day. Maybe Russian men don't allow their women to skimp. How was I reacting then? When I was still 20 and under, I was actually excited to hear these sounds. I tried to masturbate when I heard them. What a difference time makes! Now the same hurts like there is no words enough to describe.

What unites all the couples (including my parents when I was a child) that I have heard having sex live? And (almost, actually all) all verified amateur couples I've watched on PornHub? The woman is always the louder counterpart. My father emitted some minor sounds (every time my parents had sex, I was super attentive. My parents divorced when I was 17, but they stopped having sex 3-4 years before that), but when living in this building for a long time, I have only ever heard the moans of women + physical movement of things (spring mattresses etc.) related.

I don't have anyone in my life that I could share these feelings and thoughts. Or even discuss in any way.

One of my first thoughts when I was agonising in the bed was: I won't ever go to prostitutes. Sex (masturbation) barely feels anything, ejaculation included. But the feeling of woman that loves you having an screaming orgasm because of you? I guess that emotion can only be rivalled by the birth of your child, maybe only the birth of your first child.

Second thought when I was agonising in the bed: everything that I do is so meaningless, only thing that matters is what I am hearing/just heard. I have no desire/motivation whatsoever to play the new game my PS4 Pro installed when I was sleeping. I just want to cry and then revenge.
 
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shii410

shii410

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PS4 Pro lossus
 
DefiantGhost

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Read every word. Brutal.
 
Indari

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I have been on and off a SSRI medication these last couple of years. If I had been under their influence, this would have hurt somewhat less. But overall, they are not worth taking. Every time I only started them because of extremely brutal situation/feelings like this one... to numb the feelings. Maybe they saved my life or from life sentence in prison a couple of times.
 
Indari

Indari

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dirtykombatcel

dirtykombatcel

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Barely any soundproofing? Fuck, that's so suifuel. Not only because of hearing your nbrs have sex, but because you can't even cry/talk or do anything too loudly because they'll hear it.
 
TheUltimateMarkcel

TheUltimateMarkcel

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incel existence is a joke from god. we've been created to be laughed at and despised at. thats why we exist.

the only reasonable thing to do is to end it all as soon as possible (surpass your self-preservation instinct and become free from the shackles of existence, it's time for some rest, after all).
 
Reprobus

Reprobus

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When one sleeps, only sense that works is hearing. I went to sleep at 16:30 (I don't remember exactly, between 16-17). I awaken to the sounds of intense female screams/orgasm. In the bedroom directly above or under me, a young female is having the time of her life. Just 2-4 metres above or below me. I went to bed having mood above average, I just had a new PS4 game left installing and updating before I went to sleep (in the afternoon, I know, I am hardcore NEETer). Within seconds after I realise I am awake and what is the source/reason for those sounds... I get tears dropping from my eyes. If in that moment there would have been a button to press to die instantly without suffering, I would have pressed it. I just heard the intensive ending of their session. 30-45 seconds. I heard the springs of the mattress when the man was thrusting intensively...he in all likelihood orgasmed at the same time as the woman, because they stopped right at when I heard the woman's sounds. I heard then them step out of the bed and talk (could not discern what they said). Then soon (a minute or two) after I hear them "use water" (I don't know how to say it). Then they go to sleep. I agonise something like 20 minutes in the bed, then go up and go watch the clock. It was almost exactly midnight (24), 1 or 2 minutes over midnight. Then I went to bathroom and when I returned from there, the same clock showed that it was 02:30 (AM). I was 2 and half hours in the bathroom. I can't even cry too loudly, because they would hear, and I don't definitely want that. This building has negligible soundproofing. I want to live as a hermit in the middle of forest and not having any contacts with society. That is the only way to beat depression without pharmacological intervention. I have been on and off a SSRI medication these last couple of years. If I had been under their influence, this would have hurt somewhat less. But overall, they are not worth taking. Every time I only started them because of extremely brutal situation/feelings like this one... to numb the feelings. Maybe they saved my life or from life sentence in prison a couple of times.

This particular source of sex sounds have existed here at most a few months. So lately this is nothing new. They were earlier than usual. Usually they have sex at 0:30-0:50. When I first heard them, it was even more brutal than this (I wanted to make a thread then, but couldn't because reasons), then I was actually trying to fall asleep at the same time as today I woke up. I was then many minutes like: "Is this for real?!", "What am I hearing, this can't be", "Is this thing really a thing in real life!!!?"... until there could be no doubts. There was one couple in autumn 2019 and early 2020 that I heard. Before that, a decade of not hearing anything (apparently my neighbours do not even watch porn with sounds on). Before that decade of silence on this front, there was a Russian couple living above me and they fucked much more frequently than this couple I heard today. They fucked at least every other day. Maybe Russian men don't allow their women to skimp. How was I reacting then? When I was still 20 and under, I was actually excited to hear these sounds. I tried to masturbate when I heard them. What a difference time makes! Now the same hurts like there is no words enough to describe.

What unites all the couples (including my parents when I was a child) that I have heard having sex live? And (almost, actually all) all verified amateur couples I've watched on PornHub? The woman is always the louder counterpart. My father emitted some minor sounds (every time my parents had sex, I was super attentive. My parents divorced when I was 17, but they stopped having sex 3-4 years before that), but when living in this building for a long time, I have only ever heard the moans of women + physical movement of things (spring mattresses etc.) related.

I don't have anyone in my life that I could share these feelings and thoughts. Or even discuss in any way.

One of my first thoughts when I was agonising in the bed was: I won't ever go to prostitutes. Sex (masturbation) barely feels anything, ejaculation included. But the feeling of woman that loves you having an screaming orgasm because of you? I guess that emotion can only be rivalled by the birth of your child, maybe only the birth of your first child.

Second thought when I was agonising in the bed: everything that I do is so meaningless, only thing that matters is what I am hearing/just heard. I have no desire/motivation whatsoever to play the new game my PS4 Pro installed when I was sleeping. I just want to cry and then revenge.
This hurt to read man, I hope I never have to hear a foid getting fucked. All jokes aside that has to mess with your psychological and mental health
 
ADepressedVirgin

ADepressedVirgin

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i would rather be homeless than endure hearing that
 
AnotherInsertCel

AnotherInsertCel

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Damn all that to say you heard people banging in your cardboard house Absolutely BRUTAL for the time I wasted.
 
MabundaG

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Hell

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Insanityfuel
 
Gyros_Pretcel

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StSausageCel

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NGL the fact that there’s a new game you downloaded and it’s just sitting there not being played made me sad. Over for oversensitivecels
 
Linesnap99

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That brutal. There will be no women to give people like us company.
 
Hyperwristcel

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Too lazy didn't read but I understood that op woke up to a couple having sex and yes I guess that's brutal. No cope for that.
 
Over_this_Life

Over_this_Life

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If they do it again throw a brick through their window
 
curryboy420

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virgeorgen

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I read every word too. I hope you ascend and that a woman can love you. :cryfeels:
 
Reddit_is_for_cucks

Reddit_is_for_cucks

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Listen to other ppl have sex while you don’t get any is probably the most rage inducing feeling there is
 
Cope_Time

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Brutal, our "existence" is a joke, nearly every human being grows up correctly, but unlucky one like us are thrown away, I can't even imagine normie life.
 
TruestBlackCel

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Get a car with 2 step
 
PPEcel

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erenyeager

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incel existence is a joke from god. we've been created to be laughed at and despised at. thats why we exist.

the only reasonable thing to do is to end it all as soon as possible (surpass your self-preservation instinct and become free from the shackles of existence, it's time for some rest, after all).
Just like foids we are cursed to sometimes to turn on each other for competition in other words we can’t trust anyone
 
Virginp0wers

Virginp0wers

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sounds like you need to invest in some headphones bro.

thank fuck i live in a house and not apartments, holy shit thats suicide fuel
 
erenyeager

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It never began for us aspergerscels.
The world wants to kill us aspergerscels and I reject that notion. I will murder every one last of those animals (in Minecraft)