You need to get over your oneitis immediately - when you finally realize how futile it all was, all you'll have is many wasted years, regret, and misery. You have the power to not waste any more time, just explicitly ask her, get rejected, get your closure, and move on.
Yes. She will acknowledge you like a doctor acknowledges a terminal brain cancer patient. Weak and fragile. In the brink of death, and a worthless piece of shit, just serving to make her gain attention (in the case of the doctor, attention = money). You are a nothing to her. Do not fall for the illusions. Rebel against your cucked nature of romanticizing literal monsters.