Yeah my father and my brother are dead and I'm also blind in my right eye, my mother is also deaf and I'm poor asf, sometimes I think the universe has made me cheat death so many times just for lolsies, but at the same time we're living and breathing, we're desiring things (like u desiring death)... it's maybe not a negation of life per se, but rather maybe only negation of suffering, cuz we're alive after all, we still act and think like living beings as long as we're living.
Someone with a good life, smiling and all, having sex all the time suddenly picking up a broken knife and starting to crazily self stabbing their flesh so hard it bleeds out and slowly takes his consciousness away, I think that would be the true negation of life, but it never happens, maybe we're lying to ourselves when we wish to die, idk, just thinkin