Sometimes i get rare spontaneous moments where i feel good and motivated, then i do something i usually dont do, get brutally blackpilled and/or mogged to death, relapse into despair and tearful agony, end up spending a few months completely shut in and avoidant.
Recently been feeling in a better mental state because i recovered from an anorexic 110lb to underweight 127lb at ~5'9. And seeing the numbers kind of boosted my ego and for once i felt good and not deeply depressed and suicidal, that allowed me to think beyond inceldom/blackpill shit for a day or so (actually felt motivated to do things i have interest in beyond just dreaming about it). But now im relapsing yet again after remembering im a virgin loser who missed out on imperative social and romantic milestones and i have zero friends due to my autistic inability to form emotional attachments with anyone i talk to and my lack of social skills.
I feel like im stuck with this constant back and fourth warfare in my head, sometimes everything seems okay, then next day im suicidal.
Recently been feeling in a better mental state because i recovered from an anorexic 110lb to underweight 127lb at ~5'9. And seeing the numbers kind of boosted my ego and for once i felt good and not deeply depressed and suicidal, that allowed me to think beyond inceldom/blackpill shit for a day or so (actually felt motivated to do things i have interest in beyond just dreaming about it). But now im relapsing yet again after remembering im a virgin loser who missed out on imperative social and romantic milestones and i have zero friends due to my autistic inability to form emotional attachments with anyone i talk to and my lack of social skills.
I feel like im stuck with this constant back and fourth warfare in my head, sometimes everything seems okay, then next day im suicidal.
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