Brutal BRUTAL video games bottled all of my emotions up

[Lycan]

i have had problems in my life from a young age. i was always around a dysfunctional family, my mom and her bf would always scream and fight, my dad and step mom would always scream and fight, my dad got kicked out of my grandparents house after NEETing on drugs and ended up homeless then into rehab (2 times), my mom attempted suicide in the room next to me when i was about 10, i came home from school to my alcoholic dad slumped over on the floor with a pistol and ammunition next to him, and MORE...how did i cope with this? video games!!! i really never even thought about or addressed these problems much when i was younger because i was constantly in front of a screen in a totally different world. video games sucked me out of my crumbled family life and into the world that i wanted to be in, a game that helped me the most was probably gmod because you can do about anything you want. i had no irl friends so i made a lot of online friends that i was constantly fucking around with on gmod and hoi4 and other games. one of my favorite gmod servers was 1942rp because i really love history and you get to roleplay as a nazi in that gamemode and do cool nazi stuff it was only until i stopped playing games that i began to really look back and reevaluate my life and i have been in a constant state of just feeling down on myself, i wish video games could give me that feeling again like i wasnt who i really was

 

[Lycan]

theres a few videos up on youtube of me and my friends playing gmod and i can hear myself excited, happy, and laughing. i often go back and re watch those videos for nostalgia but sometimes it just makes me feel worse

 

[Substitute Subhuman]

theres a few videos up on youtube of me and my friends playing gmod and i can hear myself excited, happy, and laughing. i often go back and re watch those videos for nostalgia but sometimes it just makes me feel worse

Post those videos

 

[Hopium]

i have had problems in my life from a young age. i was always around a dysfunctional family, my mom and her bf would always scream and fight, my dad and step mom would always scream and fight, my dad got kicked out of my grandparents house after NEETing on drugs and ended up homeless then into rehab (2 times), my mom attempted suicide in the room next to me when i was about 10, i came home from school to my alcoholic dad slumped over on the floor with a pistol and ammunition next to him, and MORE...how did i cope with this? video games!!! i really never even thought about or addressed these problems much when i was younger because i was constantly in front of a screen in a totally different world. video games sucked me out of my crumbled family life and into the world that i wanted to be in, a game that helped me the most was probably gmod because you can do about anything you want. i had no irl friends so i made a lot of online friends that i was constantly fucking around with on gmod and hoi4 and other games. one of my favorite gmod servers was 1942rp because i really love history and you get to roleplay as a nazi in that gamemode and do cool nazi stuff it was only until i stopped playing games that i began to really look back and reevaluate my life and i have been in a constant state of just feeling down on myself, i wish video games could give me that feeling again like i wasnt who i really was

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

i have had problems in my life from a young age. i was always around a dysfunctional family, my mom and her bf would always scream and fight, my dad and step mom would always scream and fight, my dad got kicked out of my grandparents house after NEETing on drugs and ended up homeless then into rehab (2 times)

Yes; my father would regularly batter Mother and break things. When angry, Mother would grab my stimming objects and shake them in my face while tightly grasping my neck.

Mother moved into a separate apartment and stayed with relatives, at times. We also had to live with my paternal grandparents.

My older cousin has a degree in Sociology. His brother has a degree in Business/Marketing. Their sister is a paralegal.

Cannot say.

I'll elaborate on my paternal history, a bit:

I'd visit my paternal grandparents when I was a young child, often because my parents were arguing at home. While visiting, my younger cousin would use my grandparents' computer. I would sit on the sidelines and fidget with pencils and other objects, dropping them and upsetting my paternal grandfather.

No...hahaha. I inherited Blasian DNA from my paternal side. Their father was a primitive dull light-skinned Tyrone. The lighter-skin concealed his chimp tendencies.

I'd watch Dragon Ball AMVs and game-play alone at my paternal grandmother's house.

Paternal Lineage:

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Yes...verbally, in the West.

As in the case of my win against my half-relatives. I believe my paternal relatives transported us to Arkansas with them, yes? Of-course, they also took us in during our utility bill problems.

 

[TheDarkEnigma]

Video games were my biggest cope but too bad my mom threw away all my childhood game consoles that I grew up with.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Yes. Music can be an excellent cope.

I've expressed my emotions by fantasizing while listening to songs like "Mind Power...Ki" and "Warning of Danger" for years now.

Those two are my favorite Dragon Ball-related songs ones.

I've had ASD-related fantasies since childhood; I immerse myself in Dragon Ball and fantasize about the different versions of the storylines from each game, movie, manga, anime.

I'm in chronic physical pain, so I'll simplify the story for my own sake...



She displayed a pattern of "circular reasoning" that I tried to explain to my psychologist at the age of fifteen. It was futile, though.



I spent hours immersing myself in White Nationalist literature to understand the difference between myself and tall White Chads. This, combined with my ASD symptoms and social problems, reinforced my thoughts of inferiority. It was Akira Toriyama's Dragon Ball that prevented me from rotting completely.

Indeed. As a Westernized ethnic, I indulge in Japanese fantasy for relief from my life problems. When I entered "True Rotting" stage from the racepill, Asians revitalized my thinking and saved me from roping:

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I am the originator of a Dragon Ball theory:

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Under my account, "NihilisticNiegroe"(2016), I spoke of Asians on some occasions:

"The White child plays with wooden blocks as the Asian child analyzes the toys and builds new ones"

This is why I speak positively of East Asians. They've given me more respect than Whites:



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Super Dragon Ball Z

No, though I did watch The History of Trunks:



(Six)

And Fusion Reborn:



(Six)

And Bardock, The Father Of Goku:



(Six)

And Dragon Ball GT:



(Six)

As a young child, I was very anxious, depressed, and suffered from symptoms of ASD. Dragon Ball helped me cope and I spent hours fantasizing about different Dragon Ball scenarios.

I started watching Dragon Ball Super the moment the raw Japanese version was released.

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Mental Breakdown:

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When I have allergy episodes yearly, I also tend to experience a dramatic increase in my visual sensory problems.

In 2016, I had to skip the initial release of certain Dragon Ball Super chapters because they were written in Korean.

Yes. My half-cousins generally disregarded my presence, so I simply refused to see them and started focusing on Dragon Ball/Medicine.

Dragon Ball Shin Budokai 2
Dragon Quest VII
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 2

...

Video games were my biggest cope but too bad my mom threw away all my childhood game consoles that I grew up with.

Ya...Mother crushed my Shin Budokai 2 discs several times over Dabura.

 

[Lycan]

Post those videos

they were uploaded by a friend of mine not me

 

[willystroker]

I also used to play gmod a lot I think I put around 1,500 hours into it. Then got sick of it and mainly played mount & blade games. I remember I used to go to school or my summer job and the whole time daydream about my character leading a battle or trading with a merchant or something. I'd go to the gym and imagine I was building a fortress with my men as I lifted weights. Then I'd finally go home and continue my journey in the game. It was a comfy time

In retrospect it was a huge waste of time, especially since I can no longer enjoy vidya anymore, so it just served to make my life even more shitty due to the lower effort I put into real life. It's like a trap, a kid doesn't enjoy his life so he tries to escape into the computer and thus his life gets even worse as an adult...

 

[Lycan]

I also used to play gmod a lot I think I put around 1,500 hours into it. Then got sick of it and mainly played mount & blade games. I remember I used to go to school or my summer job and the whole time daydream about my character leading a battle or trading with a merchant or something. I'd go to the gym and imagine I was building a fortress with my men as I lifted weights. Then I'd finally go home and continue my journey in the game. It was a comfy time

In retrospect it was a huge waste of time, especially since I can no longer enjoy vidya anymore, so it just served to make my life even more shitty due to the lower effort I put into real life. It's like a trap, a kid doesn't enjoy his life so he tries to escape into the computer and thus his life gets even worse as an adult...

i have like 3k hours on gmod and like 2k on tf2

 

[Deleted member 21324]

DOOM 2016 and Eternal are great games for unleashing anger. Would highly recommend; nothing comes close as a means to release one's emotions.

 

[Lycan]

DOOM 2016 and Eternal are great games for unleashing anger. Would highly recommend; nothing comes close as a means to release one's emotions.

i beat DOOM 2016 when i was like 12 or 13 i loved it